Can any four words be more generational than "Are we there yet?" The rambunctious and rowdy Mayflower mini-Pilgrims in the 1600s . . . Laura in the wagon headed to the Little House on the Prairie . . . the littlest Israelite wandering in the wilderness . . . Tom Joad heading to California to pick grapes . . . the huddled masses yearning to breathe free . . . anyone headed to Colorado.

Sometimes the words are said in eager anticipation. Sometimes they're whispered almost like a dying gasp.

I remember the trips between my hometown of Denton and my birthplace of Bridgeport where the crazies lived, traveling on a two-lane "highway," up and down hills with no passing lanes, around curves and into the night, me spread out in the expansive back window of an old '50s road warrior, counting the stars and asking "Are we there yet?" Threats from both parents would bring me down to just a whisper . . . but never to silence.

Once, when our five children were all still youngsters, Lisa and I took them on a trip to Dallas for an overnight stay. The next morning, we tricked them by heading out on a different highway and continuing southeast towards Galveston, where we'd scheduled a week's vacation without ever so much as giving a single one of them a clue. It ranks as one of the best surprises I ever pulled. Still, once they realized we were not on our way back to Oklahoma and the destination was revealed, it was soon a chorus of "Are we there yet?" A week later on the way home it was the same song, second verse.

Wherever "there" is, we want to be . . . and right now would be nice, thank you very much.

Those of us who struggle with unwanted same-sex attraction temptations or any form of sexual brokenness -- like pornography or heterosexual sex addiction or other sexual problems -- tell ourselves we are on a journey. We've usually already fallen for the promise of the Star Trek experience, trying to pray for our physical and mental molecules to reorganize on some Father Knows Best holodeck. Of course, with a holodeck being a simulated reality in a fictional futuristic science fiction serial, it's not so hopeful. We've tried the "Beam me up, Scotty," approach and realized God has that in His hands and is keeping mum at the moment. We can't time shift; we have to live in the here and now. We want the right reality and we want it real and right now.

We're painfully "here," but we still want to be "there" -- with "there" being somewhere where "this" -- with "this" being the sexual brokenness that is impairing our lives -- is not. I'm not completely "there," and "this" is still a little bit here, sometimes, though not like "this" once was, when I was at that "there," instead of this "there." Whatsamatter? Did I slow down your reading speed?

So, how about you? How's your journey going? And who's traveling with you? Who's perched in the back window stargazing? Who's sharing the grapes? Who's alongside pulling for you as you yearn to breathe free?

A little help please?

I'm asking for you to take a minute and give me some real feedback from your heart and your experience, a travelogue. Partly it's because I think we're on a journey together and I'm wondering if we're anywhere near "there" yet. And partly it's because I'm working on a project and I could use some good input. More specifically, I'm looking for some input regarding your experience on this issue -- or lack thereof -- with churches or other Christians. "Other" being applicable if you happen to be one yourself.

Will you help me out by using the comment section of http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/ to answer a couple or three questions? Okay . . . three or four. Also . . . if you happen to not be one who struggles with same-sex attraction or some other form of sexual brokenness, but are, instead, one who loves and cares about a struggler, you can answer from your perspective. That too would be very helpful for my project and to those who read this blog. You can adapt these questions to your personal situation . . . and feel free to leave your comments anonymously if you choose.

1. If you once struggled in solitude, but for one reason or another your struggle was revealed to people in your church, how did they respond? Did you reveal your sexual struggle willingly or did something happen to bring it into the light? What has it been like for you since church members found out? What has been your experience within the church?

2. If you have wanted to be open about your same-sex attraction or other sexual struggle within your church, but haven't taken that step, on what is your hesitancy based? How do you honestly think church members and church leaders will respond if you tell them about you and your struggle? Has your struggle with homosexuality limited your ability to be a serving church member?

3. Based on your understanding of the Bible, how do you think the church should respond to homosexuals in general and especially to fellow Christians who are revealed to be still struggling with homosexual temptations and may even have a history of acting out on those temptations . . . but consider them unwanted? Do you think Christians can, within Scripture, offer meaningful support to those who struggle with homosexuality and yet not compromise their beliefs regarding the "homosexual agenda?" Why or why not?

4. What would you advise a Christian who struggles with homosexuality and wants good and healthy same-sex relationships? Is the church a safe place to find support and encouragement in the desire to manage the temptation?

Hopefully we can think through these questions together and edge a door open just a little bit further. Cultural change and the acceptance and even glamorization of the homosexual lifestyle is testing the church's resolve to be relevant and right regarding one of the most gripping and draining pulls some men and women will ever face. No one chooses this struggle. Those who choose to fight against it often engage in a silent battle, sorely lacking in reinforcements. Sadly . . . they can usually not ask "Are we there yet," because they are traveling alone.

We should not be on this journey alone.

"Then he (Jesus) said to them, Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.'

"Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can't get up and give you anything.' I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldnesshe will get up and give him as much as he needs." -- Luke 11:5-8"

For those who struggle, it is vital that the church come to the right conclusion based on a clear interpretation of scripture. If not, then the sin will be allowed to take an even greater toll and the church will bear responsibility. This is not a time to fold cards and yield to culture . . . nor a time to reject a specific group of Christians, set apart by a specific sin. This problem is not greater than the God we serve.

This journey will be longer and sadder, more costly and more tiring if it continues to be the elephant in the church. We are not there yet. We need to get there together.

God Bless,

Thom

NOTE: In a couple of weeks, I will answer the questions above and share my church experiences at http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/. Thank you to those of you who will take the time to share now.