I cannot think of anyone in my nuclear family who does not have problems. In fact, In a card game of problems I would easily be outmatched problem for problem by either one of my sisters or maybe even my brother. All three of them are going to protestant churches - my brother is a "preacher" - a Baptist minister.

But when they have problems, they say it's a "trial" and it's ok...they support each other and are nice to each other.

I'm a Catholic. I don't get the good stuff.

I shared a problem with my dad, and I will never make that mistake again. I thought he'd want to know and maybe even offer something helpful since it was about his grandson. No such kindness or thoughtfulness was forthcoming. All I got was this:

"Where's your minister in all of this? Why isn't he doing something?"

I said "This isn't a problem for the minister. It's a behavior issue."

Dad: "You should be in a good, Christian church! If you were none of this would be happening!"

Me: "Um, Catholics are Christians, dad."

Dad: "No they ain't!"

Me: "Excuse me? You don't believe Catholics are Christians? So you think we are not Christians?"

Dad: "No! You ain't if you are Catholics!"

Me: "OK...now look. I know you were raised with these prejudiced ideas, and I've tried to show you that you are wrong, but do not make this issue a religious one, it is not."

Dad: "Yes it is, this is your fault!"

Me: "Allrighty, then. Let me tell you why I converted from Baptist to Catholic. Because my whole life the Baptist church felt like a cult, and I believe the ones I grew up around are cults. They get so involved in each others lives it's intrusive, sick and detrimental to good mental health. I believe it was wrong for a minister to come to me, a child in the hospital with a broken arm after a car accident, and make accusations to me based on gossip about how the accident occured - and to this day you think he was right but he was wrong, but because he was a minister he had cred. And I believe it was wrong for a minister to become so comfortable getting into his flock's lives that he could bilk people like my grandmother out of thousands right and left. I want the minister out of my business - and in the pulpit where he belongs. This familiarity you wish to invite into your life is something I think is wrong with modern protestant faith, and I do not believe every problem is a spiritual one, some problems are medical, and some problems are mental. And if more people believed that, there would be a lot fewer sick, poor and crazy people in the world."

And God help me, I had to bite my tongue and stop there because if he were anyone but my father I would have gone on....

I would have said "and fewer dead abortion clinic doctors, untreated alcoholics and drug addicts, non-medicated mentally ill people who think they are just 'backsliding,' gay people who think they are right marrying women to try and change, enabled spouse and child abusers, cult leaders, phony faith healers, maniacal NRA members who are bringing their guns to church, evangelists who take tons of money under false pretenses and are not held accountable for it, kids who don't report sexual abuse because they are taught to obey their parents no matter what..." but I didn't want to be mean, I just wanted to state my point of view.

And then I said "I'm hanging up now, and I won't be giving you any more updates about this. Good bye." and I hung up the phone. I never raised my voice I was respectful, but firm.

But it's done now. I did not cry, because deep down I knew it was a matter of time before he showed me what i was expecting for the last 23 years. They can't accept you on any level once you leave them.