I want to prepare you ahead of time: I cried buckets while writing this. That's all I can say for now.

This is one story among many, a story about man's best friend, a sweet charming little mixed-breed female named Tasha. It's a story about loyalty, companionship, unexpected give-and-take, spontaneous entertainment, and the kind of unconditional love that only man's best friend can give. Although it seems like only yesterday, it was14 years ago that we visited the pound to rescue two dogs to enrich our family life. The male dog (Worf) has his own tale to tell at another time.

Although I had my eye on a Lab-Rottweiler mix in the upper cage, somehow in the mysterious workings of fate I was drawn to a little black four-month-old puppy in the cage below.

She huddled in the corner, not really meeting my eyes as I tried to measure her in terms of fun, play, and protection. Slowly she moved towards me and as I poked a finger through the bars, she ever-so-gently took it between her teeth in that unique little puppy nip. Looking up at me she seemed to be saying, "Is it okay for me to do this?" From that moment I was hooked. I fell in love with that adorable little creature. Child substitute or call it what you will, this has endured as a one-of-a-kind friendship. Upon learning that she had been badly physically abused in what became a broken home, my heart melted into that deep sense of protection, of wanting nothing but the best for her.

As we moved to the lobby to complete the formalities of canine adoption, I was holding her up to my shoulder and I could feel her trembling with fear because I had taken her out of the comfort of her little cage. She must have been terrified at this big, harsh, unknown world that I had so suddenly thrust upon her. We since discovered that so deep was her past trauma, it would be more than two years before she could bark, and at that moment I could only guess at the level of fear that was in her life before I came along. (Right now I'm choking back the tears.) To this day, she is startled by any sudden noise.

Growing up on a dairy farm gave me a love for animals that has endured through the years. I can't bear to see animals mistreated. I favored her over the other dog, who is the opposite in temperament. But I love him too, in a different way.

Tasha never complains when I come home late. She still shows her pleasure at seeing me, sometimes giving me a little puppy kiss, you know that gentle touch with her nose. Somehow she knows how much I like it. Through the passing years she took her place on the bed almost as if she owned it. Dogs do have a way of taking over our homes and hearts. No matter what has happened, she has never complained. Manipulated us? Definitely. 

A couple of years ago we noticed a growing lump on her throat. It was diagnosed by the local vet. as a probable cancer. We took her to the world-renowned vet clinic at Texas A & M, where she had truly loving care. Due to its critical location, they could not get all the tumor, but they gave us the assurance that it would be very slow in coming back. This has proved to be true, but what we didn't know was that she also was developing arthritis in her hindquarters. Yes, in human years she is equal to 100, and there were many times when I wanted to just hold her in my arms like a baby. I believe that all you animal lovers out there will totally understand the deep bond that dogs seem uniquely able to form with humans.. And soon now will come the decision all of us pet lovers must face eventually.

The decision will arise, whether to "put her down" when she finally is unable to eat or care for herself, or do we let nature take its course with the possibility of her suffering in pain up to the end. She has no voice but mine. Will I be able to hold her in her final moments while the needle goes in, and as the light in her eyes slowly fades in what will seem like eternity, her last look at me as if to say "My name is Tasha and I love you Daddy." Having seen death in the scale that spans brutal homicide and peaceful falling asleep, I'm still not prepared for the end of that little life that gives of herself so completely and unselfishly.

Will we meet again in Heaven? I believe so. Speaking as a former atheist, now a believer, heed the prophet Isaiah giving this beautiful picture, "The lion shall lie down with the lamb and a little child shall lead them." From that I find comfort that our pets will be with us in Heaven.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Update, 2/12/09 Tasha is still with us. She is over 15 now, but still appears to be happy and just as spoiled as ever.

This was originally written in June, 2008.