Janitors Lure Senators into Roach Motels in Obvious Case of Mistaken Identity

On the heels of the Lieberman-Kyl declaration of World War III (with the enthusiastic backing of kindred insects on the so-called left), Senate floor janitors nearly rid us of the cockroaches listed below.

Akaka (D-HI), Yea

Alexander (R-TN), Yea

Allard (R-CO), Yea

Barrasso (R-WY), Yea

Baucus (D-MT), Yea

Bayh (D-IN), Yea

Bennett (R-UT), Yea

Bond (R-MO), Yea

Brownback (R-KS), Yea

Bunning (R-KY), Yea

Burr (R-NC), Yea

Cardin (D-MD), Yea

Carper (D-DE), Yea

Casey (D-PA), Yea

Chambliss (R-GA), Yea

Clinton (D-NY), Yea

Coburn (R-OK), Yea

Cochran (R-MS), Yea

Coleman (R-MN), Yea

Collins (R-ME), Yea

Conrad (D-ND), Yea

Corker (R-TN), Yea

Cornyn (R-TX), Yea

Craig (R-ID), Yea

Crapo (R-ID), Yea

DeMint (R-SC), Yea

Dole (R-NC), Yea

Domenici (R-NM), Yea

Dorgan (D-ND), Yea

Durbin (D-IL), Yea

Ensign (R-NV), Yea

Enzi (R-WY), Yea

Feinstein (D-CA), Yea

Graham (R-SC), Yea

Grassley (R-IA), Yea

Gregg (R-NH), Yea

Hatch (R-UT), Yea

Hutchison (R-TX), Yea

Inhofe (R-OK), Yea

Isakson (R-GA), Yea

Johnson (D-SD), Yea

Kohl (D-WI), Yea

Kyl (R-AZ), Yea

Landrieu (D-LA), Yea

Lautenberg (D-NJ), Yea

Levin (D-MI), Yea

Lieberman (ID-CT), Yea

Lott (R-MS), Yea

Martinez (R-FL), Yea

McCain (R-AZ), Not Voting

McConnell (R-KY), Yea

Menendez (D-NJ), Yea

Mikulski (D-MD), Yea

Murkowski (R-AK), Yea

Murray (D-WA), Yea

Nelson (D-FL), Yea

Nelson (D-NE), Yea

Obama (D-IL), Not Voting

Pryor (D-AR), Yea

Reed (D-RI), Yea

Reid (D-NV), Yea

Roberts (R-KS), Yea

Rockefeller (D-WV), Yea

Salazar (D-CO), Yea

Schumer (D-NY), Yea

Sessions (R-AL), Yea

Shelby (R-AL), Yea

Smith (R-OR), Yea

Snowe (R-ME), Yea

Specter (R-PA), Yea

Stabenow (D-MI), Yea

Stevens (R-AK), Yea

Sununu (R-NH), Yea

Thune (R-SD), Yea

Vitter (R-LA), Yea

Voinovich (R-OH), Yea

Warner (R-VA), Yea

Whitehouse (D-RI), Yea

Maintenance personnel were visibly shaken as they recounted the eradication attempts. "We had no idea they were human."

The bad news is that doctors expected a full recovery, soberly confiding to reporters that "This primitive specie is especially resilient and adaptable."

At first it was thought that Harry Reid and Hillary Clinton were dead but they were just rolling over.

A spokesman for Black Flag said that "Since the Senate floor was so massively infested, guarantees that ‘they don't check out' could not be honored."

For more by Tim Hollis go

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