This is a pattern for a beanie similar to the one worn by Jayne Cobb in the episode "The Message." There are several patterns available for knitted versions, but I don't know how to knit, so I made one up for all of us non-knitters. Comments and critiques are appreciated! More pictures will be posted in mid December (it is a birthday gift for a friend, so I'd like the hat's "on the head" debut to be on her). In the mean time, if you have any questions please ask them in the comments section, and I'll answer them as best I can.


Materials:
-5.00 mm (K) Crochet Hook
-2 skeins each of:
-Red Heart Super Saver in Gold (198g, 4 wt.)
-Lion Brand Vanna's Choice in Rust (100g, 4 wt.)
-Red Heart Collage in Rust (100g, 4 wt.)
-Stitch markers (four different colors)

Gauge: 4" = 11 stitches

Since this pattern is worked in a spiral, using stitch markers to mark the beginning of each "row" will be necessary.

Main Part (If you have made a hat before, it may be easier for you to improvise this part... I generally don't follow a pattern and just use my best judgement, so these instructions are a little weird)
Row 1: Working in Gold, 8 sc into slipknot, pull to tighten. Slipstitch in first stitch. Do not turn.
Rows 2-3: 2 sc in each stitch; don't work over the raw end, as it will be needed later to affix the pom-pon. Do not turn.
Row 3: *1 sc in first stitch, 2 sc in next stitch. Repeat from * for remaining stitches. Do not turn.
Row 4: 1 *sc in first two stitches, 2 sc in third stitch. Repeat from * for remaining stitches. Do not turn.
Row 5: *sc in first four stitches, 2 sc in fifth stitch. Repeat from * for remaining stitches. Do not turn.
Row 6: *2 sc in first stitch, 1sc in next nine stitches. Repeat from * for remaining stitches. Do not turn. Place a stitch marker across from the row marker (estimate).
Row 7: sc in each stitch except first stitch and opposite (marked) stitch. Place a stitch marker halfway between the other two markers on each side, so that you have a marker on the North, East, West, and South directions (estimate). We will designate the row (beginning) marker as North.
Row 8: 1 Sc in all stitches except East and West marked stitches; 2 sc in those. (For a larger hat, 2sc in North, South, East, and West)
Row 9: 1 Sc in all stitches except North and South marked stitches; 2 sc in those. (For a larger hat, 2sc in North, South, East, and West)
Rows 10-15: Repeat steps in italics. Remove South, East, and West markers; place markers in Northwest, Northeast, Southwest, and Southeast positions.
Row 16: Using Vanna's Choice in Rust, 1 Sc in all stitches except Northwest and Southwest marked stitches; 2 sc in those.
Row 17: 1 Sc in all stitches except Northeast and Southeast marked stitches; 2 sc in those.
Rows 18-20: Repeat steps in italics.
Rows 20-28: sc in each stitch. Tie off.
Using Vanna's choice in Rust, fold edge of hat up to meet three rows from edge. Slip stitch all the way around.

Don't go crazy trying to follow the instructions above exactly... use your best judgement and adjust if needed. If you deviate from the pattern, don't worry -- it's a hat, not a souffle! As long as it looks like a hat and fits okay, it will be just fine.

Ear Flaps (make two, of course!)
Try hat on, so that the color-change "bump" is in the middle back. On the inside of the hat, one stitch from the chain stitches you just made (towards the edge), place markers where you think the ears should start and end.
Row 1: Using Red Heart Collage in Rust, sc 12 stitches into this row (insert hook into hole and out next hole, pull loop through).
Rows 2-8: 1 sc in each stitch. Chain 1, turn.
Row 9: Decrease first and last stitches, sc in each stitch in between. Chain 1, turn.
Row 10: 1 sc in each stitch. Chain 1, turn.
Repeat rows 9 and 10 until you have two stitches per row. Chain 1, turn. Sc in each stitch; chain 1, turn, for 14 rows.
Using two strands of same color yarn, sc along the edges of earflaps. Tie off.

Pom-Pon
Make a 3" pom-pon: Using Red Heart Collage in Rust, wrap the doubled yarn around four fingers a bajillion times, cut the end. Tie an eight inch length of doubled yarn around the middle of the pom-pon, pull as tight as you can, and knot securely. Turn pom-pon over, and using another 8 inch length of yarn, repeat. Do not cut these tie ends! Cut the loops, puff the pom-pon out, and trim.

Finishing
Pull ends of pom-pon ties through second row from middle, so that the eight strands are equally spaced. pull to tighten. Knot with hat ends. Turn hat right-side out. Knot ends of earflaps and pull to tighten. Put it on!