The number of jobs available in Antarctica is staggering. There are jobs in almost every imaginable position, but the applicants are few.

Why people do not wish to live and work in a location that is sub-zero most of the year, with only penguins and ice-flows to talk to, with darkness half of the year and a definite lack of discos and nightclubs, is a mystery, but they do.

There is a real need for a number of career positions in Antarctica, as listed below:

Snow removal: this job involves removing snow from major streets and thouroughfares every day of your waking and sleeping life. Do not apply unless you hate snow and wish to remove it. You will be removing it all the time and from every known location. Snow, snow, snow. Got it?

Snow Studies: this job is part of the government's interest in knowing more about snow. What is it? Why is it so white? Why doesn't it say anything? If you want to apply for Snow Studies, you need to have a real, deep, and abiding interest in why snow is snow, and not, say, pasta.

Snow Shop: There are a number of positions open for persons wishing to open retail snow-outlets. Snow can be sold by the cup, litre or gallon, provided you have a snow-seller's license. Successful applicants will have experience with selling snow, retailing and wholesale, and have some financial capital to set up their snow selling business.

Snow Spies: Recently there has been a movement, detected by government observers, of snow grouping together in cells and plotting against democratically elected members of the free world in an attempt to overthrow the ruling powers, by replacing them with snow.

If you have a background in anti-snow intelligence, please apply by fax or email to AntarcticaSurveillance@coldcoldcold.com