Common things that people want to know about other people, without bothering to communicate with them:

* How do I tell if my girlfriend is on her period without asking her?

* How do I know he likes me?

* How do I tell if she likes me?

* How do I tell if she's cheating?

* How do I tell if he's cheating?

Most of the things we want to know about other people are things that we should ASK THEM about and COMMUNICATE with them about.

It is a common 'want' for new couples to want to surprise each other by knowing each other better than the opposite thinks possible (without having been told the details of things) - thereby exuding some kind of 'closeness' that is 'closer than words...'

In reality...

SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER and discussing likes, dislikes, body cycles, and other personal details is really the way to become closer - and show the person how connected you are.

By COMMUNICATING, you are delivering the idea that you are INTERESTED in being connected with a person - even on a matter as personal as a woman's menstrual cycles.

Unless there is a significant culture difference and the question might seem entirely unacceptable - just ASK,

"Can you tell me about how your menstrual cycle works - what part of your cycle are you at now?"

Being able to talk about this physiological function of the human body, particularly because it has previously been a 'taboo' topic, may show that you are mature and willing to talk - even about very personal matters.

If you are asking your girlfriend about her period, you're likely wondering how her menstrual cycle might interupt sexual relations - or - how her menstrual cycle might affect her moods and down the line, your relationship, according to these moods.

If you are involved enough to have the latter two concerns (about effects to sexual relations - or effects of moods and what these mean to the relationship), then you certainly should have enough between you as a couple to be including discussion about menstruation.

You might get the idea that I'm saying, "Don't try to surprise people, it will backfire."

Or you might get an idea that I'm saying "Ask questions until you dig out every fine detail of a person's personality and life."

I'm not saying either.

The most pleasant surprises come from people remembering clear-cut discussions from the past.

If someone has repeatedly mentioned for several months "Oh, I do love Roses," when certain topics come up - then you can do some 'assuming.' Rather - you can take the straight statement that the person does love roses...and easily put that into motion to create a surprise delivery of flowers.

THIS won't be LESS SURPRISING or less special than a 'hit' from an assumption...but will be much SAFER than a 'miss' with an assumption if your mind-reading led you to the wrong conclusions and actions!

Probable reactions to a well-calculated surprise such as this:

"Wow, he has remembered our discussions, though I didn't expect this. He was connected and listening when I spoke weeks ago and still remembers...and I feel connected by receiving this gift."

Again - related to the actual communication from the past - NOT from mind-reading.

I'm not saying to dig into people with an infinite number of questions, either, to find out every last detail about them so you can be 'safe' with surprising or pleasing them later on...

If you PAY ATTENTION to the conversations you're already having - providing that you are, in fact, communicating reasonably - you will find TONS of items within conversation that will tell you, in no uncertain terms, about the person you are hoping to know better.

We often listen 'half-way' or in a distracted manner, so we often miss a great portion of someone's true personality in the communications we're already involved in.

Also - we tend not to ask enough questions due to the myths in society (mostly North American and European societies) that "When two people come together, no words are needed - if they love each other they just know each other inside and out."

This has been enforced in our literature, poetry, music, for AGES...however, not every lyric or story is supposed to carry over into REALITY, even tho' the lyric might be preferrable to reality.

Surprise a friend by RECALLING SOMETHING he said he felt very strongly about...and bring that topic around in conversation again. Perhaps it will be surprise enough that YOU REMEMBERED and decided to re-visit the topic so that your friend could once again discuss something he loves (or feels strongly about in another way).

Most people in North American and European societies feel UNHEARD, sometimes even by their close friends and family.

I think the BEST way to RE-INFORCE RELATIONSHIPS is to communicate straightforwardly and STOP the attempts to mind-read.