Segment 1:

• her near-death experience on a chartered flight
• which celebrities she would avoid in Heaven
• fear of pooping her pants when she died
• clips from her reality show
• intro to attending Barbra Streisand concert
• Kathy floored that Larry's been to Barbra's house
• makes fun of Sharon Stone's appearance on LKL

Segment 2:

• attending and presenting at the Billboard Music Awards: Janet Jackson, Ace from American Idol, Gwen Stefani, lip-synching
• the "pantyless" pictures of Paris Hilton & Britney Spears
• Jessica Simpson bombing at the Kennedy Center (Dolly Parton show)
• about her two personal assistants, Jessica & Tiffany
• her relationship and identifying with "the gays"
• her "gay panic moment" at the Streisand show
• what list is Britney on? Anna Nicole Smith? Katie Holmes?
• being sucked up into the Scientologists
• Gwyneth Paltrow & Madonna

Segment 3:

• Madonna on adopting a Malawian orphan
• her new (military) man, Major Todd
• her Emmy nomination
• "I'm so far to the left, I'm a Sandinista"
• being banned from major talk shows: Leno, Conan, Letterman, Regis, Ellen
• Clay Aiken, Kelly Ripa, Rosie O'Donnell debacle; was it homophobic?
• "I'm scared of Barbara Walters"
• being back on the market and being a "sure thing"
• doing benefits, outreach programs, charities; Toys for Tots

Segment 4:

• Star Jones & her The View appearance
• Emmy nominee; the "Schmemmies"
• advice for Michael Richards
• going to rehab being trendy
• her parents & family
• Ted Haggard & Mark Foley
• Rosie O'Donnell hosting the View
• her parents' frugality
• on her not being religious

Segment 5:

• her D-list moments (at the shoe department at Saks)
• Suzanne Somers and James McGreevey on LKL
• ready for a gay, Jewish president?
• thoughts on Barack Obama, Hillary, Republican candidates...
• passing off ("throwing") to Anderson Cooper