Coleridge noted that "the most savage of men are not beasts. They are something worse...much worse." FCC Chairman Kevin Martin is much worse and is pushing for immediate unmediated media conglomeration in plenty of time for Christmas. Witnessing his surly demeanor one might wish for someone to lace his cappuccino with a wall-melting dose of LSD...but I digress. Martin remains firm in his resolve, despite unanimous public opposition and the shrill protestations of senatorial eunuchs, to hand over eternal impunity to his billionaire masters.

Owners of The United States of America fear that otherwise public discourse might become informed, thereby disputing the sanctioned analyses put forth by such journalistic luminaries as Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck. I don't know about you but I would hate to miss out on the penetrating insights of guests like Charlie Daniels, Dog the Bounty Hunter and Travis Tritt because they're what make mainstream news coverage the hallmark of scintillating erudition that it is today.

Not to worry. Not on Kev's watch. On the eighteenth of December this public menace is poised to grant carte blanche to a braver newer media cartel hell bent on lowering the level of broadcasting to even more dizzying depths. As for people with capacities for critical thought, well, we can only hope that the great ethereal medical coverage in the future will apply to extensive frontal lobotomies. "As routine as pulling a tooth and after the surgery you'll no longer be daydreaming about mounting their heads on pikes."

What rankles most is an inkling of what an inspired culture this could be if not for his patent sabotage of the public interest undertaken at the behest of hideous media moguls: Or, as Maxwell Smart would say, "If only he had used his powers for goodness...and niceness."

For more by Tim Hollis go

To Iniquity, and Beyond: News from a lunatic-infested dirt clod

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