Kitchen Sink Monster: A Children's Story By Blake Flannery
71Children's Story By Blake Flannery
Warning, this children's story may not be suitable for all children of all ages. I am no children's story author. Read this children's story to your kids at your own risk. The story does what most children themed things do: lie to kids, scare the crap out of them, and ultimately control them.
This is a first attempt at writing a children's story. All I know of children's stories is that they are usually short, imaginative, funny, and have a lesson. Although this children's story is more like nursery rhyme than a story, I still like it. It is obviously more satire and more adult in nature than most children's stories, but I wouldn't know for sure. I don't read children's books. They seem boring. This one should be entertaining for all ages. You can read this children's story below, and scroll down for the illustrated version.
Kitchen Sink Monster: Unillustrated Version
The kitchen sink monster looks like a monkey
His home is all slimy, wet, chunky, and gunky
Just below the drain, where the water flows
That's where you feed him, and where he grows
When you go to sleep he peeks out his head
Climbs up the drain as you sleep in your bed
Zooms though the sink wearing roller skates
Samples all the food left on dirty plates
Before you eat breakfast he goes back down
Back through the hole that's dark and round
Just below the drain, where the water flows
That's where you feed him, and where he grows
He likes to eat while you clean and cook
He eats the scraps you pour into his nook
He eats way too much if you don't use a strainer
If you feed him too much, he'll clog the drainer
If you smell something stinky, nasty, or sour
Turn the water on high and give him a shower
Flip the switch on the wall, to clean his room
He hates it when you do that, he'll growl at you
Rinse off your dishes, don't let them lay
With nothing to eat he won’t want to stay
Just below the drain, where the water flows
That's where you feed him, and where he grows
Never place a finger down the drain to feel
He'll bite it off; he’ll make it his meal
Remember these things to keep the monster away
Don’t feed him too much, and you’ll be o.k.
Illustrated Version of Kitchen Sink Monster
The kitchen sink monster looks like a monkey
His home is all slimy, wet, chunky, and gunky
Just below the drain, where the water flows
That's where you feed him, and where he grows
When you go to sleep he peeks out his head
Climbs up the drain as you sleep in your bed
Zooms though the sink wearing roller skates
Samples all the food left on dirty plates
Before you eat breakfast he goes back down
Back through the hole that's dark and round
Just below the drain, where the water flows
That's where you feed him, and where he grows
He likes to eat while you clean and cook
He eats the scraps you pour into his nook
He eats way too much if you don't use a strainer
If you feed him too much, he'll clog the drainer
If you smell something stinky, nasty, or sour
Turn the water on high and give him a shower
Flip the switch on the wall, to clean his room
He hates it when you do that, he'll growl at you
Rinse off your dishes, don't let them lay
With nothing to eat he won’t want to stay
Just below the drain, where the water flows
That's where you feed him, and where he grows
Never place a finger down the drain to feel
He'll bite it off; he’ll make it his meal
Remember these things to keep the monster away
Don’t feed him too much, and you’ll be o.k.
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Comments
Give him a drink of liquid plumber, it'll give him diarrhea and he'll get skinny again.
Of you can put a snake down there, kitchen sink monsters are scared of snakes.
Too cute! This would scare my kids though. I'll keep it to myself.
Oh man, I've been censored. I'll work on cleaning it up for the kids. We don't want them having nightmares.
Kids read Where the Wild Things Are because it gives them control over their monsters. This one isn't that different, lol. Except it may inspire kids to scream when their moms throw stuff down the kitchen sink... and moms are the ones who buy picture books, mostly!
I like the concept. I'Ve studied childrens books and you don't have to rhyme them, but if you do they have to work extremely well. Kids are some of the the toughest critics, actually. They know when something is added simply for the rhyme at the end and they latch onto stuff that works poetically and is silly though perhaps metaphorical. Lots of nursery rhymes are political commentary, did you know that?
You also don't need a lesson. That is didactic and they get enough of this in school or from mom. Did you ever read Sandra Boynton? The meaning may be underlying the story, but it needn't be explicit or even moralistic. Tell the story, that's all.
You are such a funny guy. When you write, your humor comes out naturally. I would think you would be a great young adult writer, or even middle school, more on the lines of a Joan Bauer or Neil Gaiman or Paul Fleischman.
That's just me.
Thanks Storytellersrus,
I was hoping that you would give me some feedback. I agree with what your comments here. I really know nothing about writing for children or any other age group for that matter. I just like to write things I would want to read. Unfortunately, I made it to adulthood without reading much at all. I consider you an expert. Please continue with the constructive criticism.
lmmartin says:
2 months ago
Love it. So that's why I'm forever having to plunge out my sink drain. Mine must be getting fat.