LAWN MOWERS

A GUIDE FOR LADIES....
Tips to help you from a woman’s point of view.

"I"LL GET ROUND TO IT"

Those Five Words women often hear from their partners when you mention the grass could do with a mow. Should you ever decide to take the bull by the horns so to speak and just do it yourself only to find the mower in bits and pieces in the shed, then here is a guide you should read when you have exhausted all other options including PAYING someone to do the job for you. Ladies, speaking from experience. There is a wee bit of physical strength involved in this task. Patience is required along with the ability to multitask. Being a woman this is really like Icing a Cake, comes naturally…..

Hiring A Mower

TIP ONE

Hire one with a Key start, being a lady you really don’t want to pull the chord to start the thing. Still if you find yourself short on money then a Ride On Mower is out of the question. Still motor mowers come in all shapes and sizes, just like the opposite sex. There are push mowers without a motor... These ones you are required to push fast to turn the blades so unless you want a physical workout best leave these to the guys.
Should you find yourself having to hire the one you have to pull start don’t panic, it really isn’t too difficult.
Make sure you have a Vehicle or Trailer to cart the thing, otherwise you will find yourself pushing the thing all the way home. Been There..done that...

TIP TWO

Get the man who HIRES it to you to start the damn thing first and show you how. LISTEN...LOOK...LEARN...

TIP THREE

Ask what type of petrol it takes so you avoid the mistake of filling the thing up with diesel.
Mistakes Happen….Wrong fuel in…Don’t Worry Men Make Mistakes Too.

DO NOT turn the thing on the side to let the fuel drain out, as from experience will inform you, the mower will not start as the oil somehow gets into everything it shouldn’t.
Use your phone and dial up the Sucki Motor guy to drain it for you. This person is experienced in dealing with this kind of situation. Experts in fact and this small minor mistake will be rectified within a few minutes. No money to do this, then ladies please remember to ask for help.

In New Zealand a kiwi male will often lend a hand when least expected. A Smile goes a long way when presented with a Confused look and a Tear starting in your eye. You are a LADY After all.

Alright now you have got the Motor Mower home. Or you have found the machine in one piece in the garage...

TIP FOUR

ASK the man of the house to mow the grass. No male available don’t Panic..
Check you have got boots or some Enclosed Footwear on your Feet.
NO high heels or shoes ladies you would go Shopping in.

TIP FIVE

You have noticed the neighbour is home. He is watching you. Look Helpless. Ask him to help. I’m pretty sure he will do so even going as far as to offer to do the job for you. If not then move on.


SAFETY CHECK LIST

SUNSCREEN Ladies.

WEAR Enclosed Footwear at all times.

EAR Muffs to avoid Hearing Loss/ or Listen to music which you have downloaded onto your I POD.

GLASSES of some kind to Protect your EYE SIGHT.

Personally speaking I wear sunglasses with a chainsaw helmet which I find gives great protection all around the head. The mower has a catcher and should you find you are using this to collect the grass Please STOP Mower to empty catcher when it is full Or Turn Down the Throttle when you remove the catcher. You will then find the glasses very helpful to stop the grass going in your eyes.

WET GRASS AVOID At ALL TIMES

Now Ladies should you find yourself mowing when the GRASS is WET then Please DON'T Get a STICK to Unblock the machine when you notice it is not coming out into the catcher or is just plain struggling to go.

Turn Machine OFF.... then get a damn stick to unblock the stupid machine...

GLOVES Ladies.
Highly recommend any gardening type to protect the fingernails from breaking. Keeps the hands smooth.

NEVER Ever put your Hands, Feet or any other part of your Body under the motor mower while it is Going. The Blades are lethal, will cut anything.
Motor Mowers show no mercy and will cut anything and everything into a million pieces as it runs it over.

READY TO MOW THE GRASS NOW

Turn or push the lever to the ON position.

Put one foot on the mower to hold it in place if the pull string chord is next to the mower, the other on the ground away from the machine.Straight back as you draw the chord up with a hard pull. This will fire the machine into life. You are now ready to mow the Grass which ladies is done by Pushing the motor mower back and forth over the green stuff which never stops growing.
Now if you are fortunate to have hired a motor mower where the chord to start the machine is at the end of the handle where the start lever is, then you will find pulling the chord to start it so much easier....

WARNING....WARNING

If you are really very good at mowing the grass, think how much money you could make by being dressed in hard hat, gloves, sunglasses, bikini with boots. Do I really need to put a pic here………Mmmmmm

Well Done Ladies....you have either mowed the grass or have payed someone to do the job...

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