The Kohler Faucet "Bold New Look" TV ads have inspired me. They're so inspiring I now have Tivo so I can speed past the Kohler commercials.

The ads started a while back with a young married guy who sees a hot plumber chick entering the house next door. He rushes inside and starts flushing stuff down the toilet to clog it so he'll have a reason to interact with the hot plumber.

PAUSE. I think its rather implausible that a hot chick will choose plumbing as a profession. I once read about an owner of a Quick Oil Change shop who hired women to change oil while topless, while the customer waited in his car. Creepy. But the gals soon quit, because when they were strippers they only had to dance, not fiddle with oil filters and such. He couldn't find replacements, and the show was over. Lots of guys needing an oil change were left waiting in line.

PLAY. Back to the married guy. He can't clog the toilet because its a Kohler and is so well made. His wife catches him pouring a big bag of dog food into the toilet. Hilarity ensues. HA! hahaha!

I bet he's glad he didn't flush his supply of hand lotion.

The next annoying Kohler commercial is about a couple and an elderly architect, all with too much money and time on their hands. The architect wraps up a tour of his museum of architectural oddities by asking, "So, what can I do for you?"

The lady pulls a faucet out of her purse, slaps it on his desk and says, "Design a house around this." It would have been so much better if she had pulled out a sex toy.

The latest from the Kohler ad geniuses is an ad about a pretty young woman who has many men asking for her hand in marriage. Somehow she is able to check out one man's kitchen and learns his kitchen faucet is unusually large and fun to play with. The next scene shows him marrying her, and the much more attractive men who didn't win her hand looking dissappointed.

The folks at Kohler could have made Italians look worse by having them whack the groom. Is the bride too dumb to know that any man could get her the fancy Kohler faucet? Its not like they have to be born with it. Whassamatta U!

The common theme of these commercials is to mock superficial people. What confuses me is they are mocking the people that go crazy for Kohler, (except lotion-boy, who's wife is probably the Kohler fanatic). It seems like that angle wouldn't be effective, yet if these ads didn't get results, they wouldn't be on tv for long. "Buy our stuff because superficial people love it" doesn't seem like a pitch man's fastball. Just sayin'...

I can only conclude that the desire for status is a powerful motivator for some people. If it can be obtained through the right choice of plumbing supplies, then so be it. I'll keep my perfectly adequate toilets, sinks and faucets and splurge on Tivo. That way I can fast forward through the Kohler commercials.

And another thing: that plumber ain't that hot.