HOW MANY MEN DOES ONE WOMAN NEED?

My simple answer. Millions. Before you encourage me to see a doctor right away to be checked for sexually transmitted disease possibilities, allow me to make my point clear. We are not referring to sexual partners here. Those are easy to find, and best avoided in most cases. Sexual behavior without committed friendship, and even the possibility of long term commitment is not satisfying for many women, and in my case my pride dictates that the man must want to marry me, whether I desire marriage to him or not.

VENUS AND MARS FRIENDSHIPS

Men supply many needs in a woman's life, and few of those are overtly sexual, though they may be somewhat related to sexuality. Most male stereotypes are fashioned after needs women actually have, but cannot necessarily handle unless they are watered down somewhat, and absorbed in small doses. Here are some of my needs, and bits of information about the men who supply them.

WARNING: If you think you are in this article, I will deny it. Your name is changed, and no one other then me can prove you are the angel or devil described here.

WHAT EVERY WOMAN NEEDS: ONE MILLION MEN

THE OLDER POWERFUL MALE: MONEY, SUCCESS, BRAINS, CLASS, INTELLECT

Every woman needs to feel like the younger woman, even when she is no longer young. We all harbor some need to be taken care of, and have an older father figure, or protector other than our guard dog, looking over our welfare. This need is especially pronounced after the death of our actual father. While my father never fit this image, he continued to serve as my champion and protector until his death a few years back. The position is void now, and older men who remind me of daddy, or have attributes dad never had, are in high demand.

I have one such friend who is only a distant friend, but is my present prototype of this image. I do not see him often, and it is not a close relationship, but like a school girl, I struggle to meet his requirements of what my writing should be, and feel like an abandoned child when I fail to do so. Lets just call him Jack, since he feels that all of my characters should have names, even the clients I share who are protected by client confidentiality.

Jack is old enough to be my father, while still alert and intelligent, and I shamelessly tell him repeatedly that he is a genius, something I would be too prideful to tell a younger man. He is world traveled, a retired lawyer, formerly worked for the FBI, is the author of about 8 bestselling books, and took care of his dying wife tirelessly, waiting on her hand and foot until her death, a while back. What better protector could exist?

Unfortunately, living up to Jack's expectations would most likely be a full time job. I do not measure up in any way to him, or his ability. Since I have nothing to offer this man, he would not be a reasonable match for me, nor would he be interested in spending time with me on a personal level. Still, it is inspiring to enjoy the company of a highly successful, intelligent and powerful man, and to learn at his feet. Some relationships are not meant to offer any more than that.

THE MARRIED MALE

Every female needs a male friend who is married, therefore causing no need to avoid commitment, or explain why I do not choose to have a sexual relationship. Since he has no right to expect a sexual relationship, he cannot get angry when one does not develop, regardless of what he might desire. Lets call him Paul, since Jack would feel this article to be very dull reading if he were not given a name, and I have a strong need to do whatever Jack thinks is best.

Paul is my safe friend and confident, and he knows every insecurity, fear, and thought I possess. He has read all of my writing, with the exception of one novel I do not share with anyone I know. Jack only has time to edit one at a time. Paul never makes demands, or expresses anger, and is always there for me. Paul knows all of my secrets, except one. He does not know about my infatuation with Jack, and it is best kept that way, since Paul does most of the giving, and Jack is not even a close friend. Occasionally Paul shows signs of jealousy related to my behavior towards Jack. This tendency does not need to be triggered since it could destroy the best part of my friendship with Paul.

Paul actually loves, and is loyal to his own wife, Kay, who is also my friend, but friends, especially writer friends, do tend to get jealous. Since I cannot share my feelings about Jack with Paul, that leads to needs I have for males who will not react to my infatuations over other men, or feel the need to compete with me as women do.

GAY MALE FRIENDS

Every female should have at least two or more gay male friends. Lets call them Tony and Mac. These guys do not care who you are attracted to, nor do they feel any jealousy about who you prefer. They provide a male perspective on many issues, without the problems encountered with other males. Tony and Mac also share my love for animals, and will swap pictures of our dogs as if they were our children. Paul does not share this love, and Jack claims he would never allow a cat to live inside his home. I have two inside cats, and four inside dogs. Tony and Mac consider these animals to be my family members.

Tony and Mac are great, but they don't make me feel very sexy or desirable. Gay males also tend to think sexuality comes to an end for most of us (at least the hot and passionate type of sexuality), at around thirty years old, or younger. One saying I have heard from males in the gay community is that "if you live long enough, you will have to pay for good sex." This is not my idea of an ego lift, or a fun filled sexual experience, single or married. Though Tony and Mac do not even discuss such things with me at all, and tend to behave much like heterosexual married couples do, they are not able to satisfy my need to feel desired. This is a need I do not want from Paul, am not getting from Jack, and must look elsewhere to experience.

THE TESTESTERONE FILLED YOUNGER MAN, WHO MAY EVEN BE A STIMULANT DRUG USER

This guy is not looking for friendship or commitment, and the only power he has is of the sexual type. He also has the power to make me feel desirable, which is why I tend to remember him long after he is gone. Lets call him Taylor. He will never be my actual lover, because I fear public humiliation and sexually transmitted disease from such a union. Since my number one rule is that the guy has to like me more than I like him in order for a sexual relationship to even be considered, there is no chance of one taking place with Taylor. He probably sleeps with as many drug addicted women as I swat flies on a hot summer's day.

Drug users and young guys can be very intelligent, and they often know how to cause you to desire them, but Taylor can do little else for me, nor would he want to do so. Fantasy food is all he provides, and all that I could safely accept from him, or others like him. The fact that he could provide sexual virility is all that is necessary in this case to feed my need to be desired. But the desire of a younger man, especially one that is drug induced, is not real, and is actually only the need for a release for him. That leads to the man I am really wanting to find, one who simply enjoys my company, and has aspects of all the men named, or misnamed, above.

THE COMBINATION GUY

I honestly wish I could have the best of them all. If a machine existed, in which they could all be dumped, and somehow combined to form the perfect combination guy, I would gladly wait beside the blender. Lets call him Big Mac. Until that is possible, I will probably continue to require a variety of men to satisfy my emotional needs. My physical needs are not satisfied, but probably no one man could satisfy them, anyway. At least no one has done so thus far, so I tend to focus on my emotional needs, instead, since I am basically a one man woman. My best bet seems to be found in my ability to enjoy a number of uncommitted, nonsexual, and well rounded friendships with a number of different men. So, how many men do I really need? A million would be nice.