Laugh At the Kids

As the mother of four children, I get many opportunities for impromptu laughs... you know, when your child says something that makes you stop and just say, "huh?" Some are just so priceless, I've decided to compile them and share a few. I've also included a couple from the funny emails that I get from my friends on occasion. They're so classic, I swear one of my own might have said them, themselves! Then I really got going and found some hilarious YouTube videos that I threw in for good measure. That's when I changed the title from "Laugh With the Kids," to "Laugh At the Kids." You might not want your little ones to watch the videos with you. They are funny, innocent and hilarious, but trust me.... it got kind of old hearing my 5-year old son repeating one of the scenes from the "truck" video over and over (see video to the right >)

My 4-year old nephew has loose teeth due to a medical condition and is not allowed to eat certain food. While at Grandma's house one day, the cousins were enjoying candy, but my nephew could only have a soft piece of candy. My son (6 months older), looked at my nephew and proudly declared, "I got a hard one."

When one little girl was asked, how can you tell which families belong together at a crowded playground, she replied, "Its easy. You just watch to see which parents are yelling at which kids. They go together."

When my grandfather passed away on November 2nd last year, we tried our best to explain it to our children, including our 5 year old twins. From time to time, one or both of them would state that Great-Grandpa was in Heaven, and I would assure them that was the case. By December, my daughter decided that "On Christmas Eve, Santa Clause will bring Great-Grandpa home for a quick visit." It was so cute, I hated to say no...

Conversation overheard at a zoo in Tasmania, where a young kid was looking at a wombat:

• Kid: "Look Dad, dog!"
• Dad: "No, not a dog. Remember, we talked about what this is?"
• Kid: (thinks) "Dog!"
• Dad: "Noooo. It starts with a 'w'."
• Kid: "W......w......w......wdog!"

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

Conversation between a mother and her 10-year old son. He was talking about the "carcass" of a printer.

• Mom: "You mean 'cartridge'? 'Carcass' is a dead body."
• Son: "Oh, yeah, cartridge! But a dead body is a 'cork'."
• Mom: "'Cork'? You mean 'corpse'?"
• Son: "Uh, yeah."

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. --Age 6

The phone rang one evening while I was making dinner for the kids. I asked my oldest son to grab it, as I was trying to get the remaining ketchup out to put it on the plates. I turned around just in time to hear him explain, "No, my mom can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."

• South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage
• I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing
• To most people, solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists, solutions are things that are still all mixed up
• When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting
• You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind
• Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime
• Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water
• It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places

• There are two kinds of love- Our love & God's love. But God makes both kinds of them. Love is important to God.
• Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.
• When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.
• During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.
• When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.
• Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.
• Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings.
• You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget, and it's good for them to get reminded.
• Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.

• Its best not to use felt-tip markers for lipstick
• If you get a bad grade, wait and tell your mom about it when she's on the phone
• If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse
• When your dad is really mad at you and asks, "Do I look stupid?" Don't answer him
• As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

  --Age 7