There is no doubt about it, laughter is good for you. Doctors recommend it for depression, and advise patients to seek out environments where they will find themselves laughing as much as possible, be it with amusing friends, a comedy club, a humorous film at the cinema or a comedy TV series.

Remember how good it feels to be literally aching with laughter, and how this pushes all your stresses and worries to the back of your mind, even if only for a little while? Laughter is therapy, and best of all, it can be easily found free of charge and without a prescription.

You know that Monday morning feeling, where you really don't want to go into work, but know you have to? Again, a good laugh before work can really pep you up and give you the motivation to go and face the day.

As you probably know, I have run a small series of hubs lately featuring my favourite humorous images and emails that I have been sent over the last couple of years. Fortunately I had saved most of them in a file on my computer, and now I am enjoying the ability to share these with those of you who have not seen or read them before. Some of them may be familiar to you, but I am sure others will not be, and all bear reading or viewing more than once in any case.

This is my latest contribution from my archives. I hope you all enjoy them, and if you do I have added links to my other humorous hubs in the links section at the bottom of the page.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have

produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

***

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas

is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)

***

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the

body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

***

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

***

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it

starves to death. (Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

***

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)

***

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is

attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

(Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

***

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human

jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)

***

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

***

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

***

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)

***

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm........)

***

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than

left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

***

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(OK, so that would be a good thing....)

***

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

***

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

***

Starfish have no brains.

(I know some people like that, too!)

***

Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

***

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)

***

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "magic.

""Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now". I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me.

"She just giggled and said she was sure I'd "rise" to the challenge.

"Yeah. "I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! "

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby bald men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to f**k off.

2006 Darwin Awards

In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards , awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains or estate of, in most cases) that individual, who through single-minded, self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool. Just think... until these events occurred, these same people were walking the streets just like normal people.

SIXTH PLACE: Goes to a San Anselmo , California man who died when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad. 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth Hospital . The accident occurred about 3 a.m. , the Mono County Sheriff's department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump alley and removed some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower.

It has since been investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with its pad removed.

FIFTH PLACE: Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.

FOURTH PLACE: Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.

THIRD PLACE: "Man loses face at party." A man at a West Virginia party (probably related to the winner last year, a man in Arkansas who used the .22 bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup truck) popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D . Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it.

It wouldn't go off and this guy said I'll show you how to set it off." He put it into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and his lips and tongue off, Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing something like that," Payne said.

SECOND PLACE: Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grants Pass , Oregon .

A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye. Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon, Doctor Johnny Delashaw, at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have killed himself.

Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." "REALLY"?! No charges have been filed, but the Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under investigation. (Editor's note: he probably would have gotten first, but he survived .)

THIS YEAR'S WINNER: John Pernicky and his friend, Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the George Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100 pounds heavier than Mr.Hawkins, to hop the fence and then assist his friend over.

Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree.

Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, upon landing his pocket knife penetrated his thigh.

Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence, landing on his friend and killing him.

Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John deceased under it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.

Congratulations gentlemen. You win. Five more idiots have been removed from the gene pool and we are richer because of your supreme sacrifice. (I can hardly wait till next year... can they get any better?)

The following questions and answers were collected from last year's GCSE exam results in Swindon. These are genuine responses!! (from 16 year olds)!

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

***

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

***

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

***

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

***

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?

A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

***

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?

A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

***

Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

***

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

***

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

***

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

***

Q: What is artificial insemination?

A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

***

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]

***

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen)

A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax the

abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the

heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels,

A,E,I,O and U.

***

Q: What is the Fibula?

A: A small lie.

***

Q: What does "varicose" mean?

A: Nearby.

***

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?

A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

***

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."

A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

***

Q: What is a seizure?

A: A Roman emperor.

***

Q: What is a terminal illness?

A: When you are sick at the airport

***

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.

***

Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.

A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

***

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

***

Q: What is a turbine?

A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head.

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

***

Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

***

Q. What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

***

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

***

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

***

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it!

***

Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

***

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

***

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

***

Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?

A. About three inches.

***

Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?

A. For traction in the mud.

***

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?

A. The grip.

***

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.

***

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

***

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 pounds.

***

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.

***

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.

***

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

A. The swallow.

***

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

***

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A. They don't have balls to scratch!

***

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

***

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

***

3 . When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

***

4 . When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

***

5 . When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

***

6 . People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

***

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

***

8 . When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

***

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.

14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

There, now don't you feel better now?

If you enjoyed this hub follow the links to my similar hubs below, and prepare to laugh your socks off :)