Make me laugh! A southerner's attempt
61
|
Dirt on My Shirt
Price: $9.05
List Price: $16.99 |
|
How to Really Stink at Golf
Price: $7.73
List Price: $16.00 |
|
Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary: Words You Thought You Knew the Meaning Of
Price: $2.75
List Price: $6.99 |
|
Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary III: Learning to Talk More Gooder Fastly
Price: $6.99
|
Lessons to learn before living in the south
Family, friends, fellow hubbers,
After what seemed an eternity of living in Alabama, but indeed was only 16 months...here are 16 lessons to acquaint newcomer with a few aspects to life in a small town Southern community.
1) The four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Football.
2) Stores with names like 'Pappy's Snuff and Stuff' actually exist.
3) Sweet Tea is the "wine of the south,"
4) Restaurants aren't open on Sunday, 'cuz isn't your mom at home cookin' supper?
5) You'll meet more Bubba's at the charity golf tournament than at the bowlin' alley.
6) People sit in "cheers" but they watch the "chair" leaders at the football games.
7) Where non-southerners might say "good bye," people here say "bless your heart, darlin'.You take care."
8) Sentences really do sound as if they are all questions. (Example. "I was goin' to the growshree store?")
9) The population is barely aware that cars come from anyplace besides Detroit.
10) The concept of enacting smoking/non-smoking sections in restaurants causes death threats against the mayor.
11) Everyone but you knows what the "dresser" ads on TV are about. (Dressers are places that process the dead deer you've got tied down across the hood of your car. And, during the season, dressors ARE open Sundays...see #4 above)
12) The founding fathers considered the turkey to be too dumb to be considered the symbol of our country, despite Ben Franklin's advocacy of this bird as our national symbol. But men happily spend thousands of dollars on rifles, scopes, turkey call whistles, etc. in order to outwit this poor creature so they can kill it as a recreational activity. So, armed with thousands of dollars of lethal, almost super bionic equipment, they call seeking out this bird to bring about it's death "sport."
13) Denim overalls are casual. Camel tan overalls are restaurant attire.
14) The word "holler" has nothing to do with loud sounds. (Leave a comment here if you need more information)
15) The best wine store is a lean-to addition to the nearby gas station. Really.
16) Everytime I tell someone I live just off the intersection of the new highway and the old highway, they know exactly where I'm talking about!
Oh, ... BlessYourHeart y'all
Share it! — Rate it: up down [flag this hub]
Comments
Yep, I"m originally from OK, and we vacationed quite a bit in Arkansas. But my 16 months in AL takes the prize for understanding that I was truly, deeply in THE SOUTH.
Honey Bunch,
Having grew up in Mississippi, Im not shore what your prent was. But I do know what a holler is.
I know we talked a bit slower than most folks and sometimes our diction was not the best, but I would not trade the southern values for any in the world.
Of course as soon as I was able, I left the rural south for the big city of New Orleans. I now talk different and look like a city slicker. But you can never take the country values away.
And bless you Honey Bunch and come back to see us real soon
This is GREAT! I forwarded the link all around--Bless yer heart darlin', you take care now! Thanks for a really fun hub. You made me smile. (o:
This is hilarious! Great job taking what you know and sharing it with the world, desert blondie. Thanks for bringing a little of the South into peoples' lives - even halfway around the world. I'm sure we could all use a dose of Southern heart and charm. Well done!
Be well,
- Satori
I loved it so much! I read it hours ago and didn't realize that I forgot to leave a comment until I was paging through the top hubs.... :-) Very funny!
So funny! I remember the first time I visited South Carolina - total shock for this native New Yorker! It took me a while to adjust to all the friendliness :)
You're so right! Everyone's very friendly! At first I thought it was nosiness! But neighbors, and grocery store clerks and hair stylists are really just that friendly! It does take some getting used to...and opening up your personal life in circumstances you'd never think about! Thanks for enjoying this hub!
The southerner's friendliness is matched by the midwesterner's. It's a small-town mentality and ideology centered about doing for others. SO lacking in the urban northeast.
There's no place like West Virginia for a holler...they got the biggest and the deepest ones. Nice hub!
This is the first comment from someone who knew what a "holler" is. Good for you! Yep, West Virginia's gotta have the deepest... but once they get too big, they just become a "valley" and everyone's heard of those! Thanks for dropping by!
this is the stupidest thing i ever heard of
To The End, sorry you didn't like my hub, but thanks for stopping by! Best!
I just love learning about the US.
I can't wait to go but it's so huge that I wouldn't know where best to head for.
Somewhere where there's a bar, country music, line dancing and friendly people who won't shoot me.
I'd say you need to go to Nashville, not nearly as many gun racks visible through the pick-up truck window there as some other state's I've been in...and they've got some great line dancing bars!
Too funny. I recently moved to Georgia, and the south is really different! I especially like number 1. We are in almost summer still, ha.
Yes, I bet, June...they consider that "almost summer" 'cuz it's just going to get worse! More humid, hotter! They say Georgia's having real water problems...bet the Midwest flood areas are wishing they had such similar problems...how do you find it where you are? You won't have to worry about deer carcas slung across the hoods of any cars you pull up next to at a stoplight until way after summer months are over!
Hahaha this cracks me up! I grew up in Southern Illinois and whenever I go back, I run into everyone that talks just like that lol. That whole sweet tea thing is like that in some parts of FL too! I had lived in FL for 2 years and never noticed it, but went back to see a friend and everyone was ordering sweet tea like it was the next popular beer. The chair/cheer one is hilarious. My grandma says bRought for bought & oral for OIL lol... oh and can't forget binoPPulars for binocculars o.o
Thanks, Starrkissed, for adding your own knowledge of "southern ways."
working
trish1048 says:
4 months ago
Hi Desert Blondie,
Very cute! makes me wish I remembered everything I heard when visiting my grandmother out in OK, and my aunt in Arkansas LOL,,,
Fun hub to start the day with, thanks!
Patty