Our son recently left home to attend University in the city, which is a five hour drive from our home town. As parents, all kinds of questions run through our minds the minute our child is heading out the door. Up to this point we tried to teach our son to become independent and self-sufficient. We taught him about morals and ethics - the rules to live by. We wanted him to work hard, to be honest and to be fair. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is one of the favorite quotes I would throw at him. Now I can only hope that we have done an adequate job. Will he be street wise in the city? Will he handle his finances well? I have a million questions but I realize that it is now up to him. As parents, his father and I can still offer advice, but mostly, we need to let go and let our son live his life.

Last weekend, our son came home for a weekend visit because one of his friends, Luke, was also leaving home. Luke had a life long dream of becoming a soldier and his dream was now coming to realization - Luke received word that he was going to be deployed to Afghanistan in a couple of weeks. He was ecstatic. My first reactions to this news were emotions of fear and sadness that I could hardly explain. In my mind I began to compare our experience of letting go of our son , to Luke's parents experience of letting go of him. I cannot imagine the pull of opposing feelings, feelings of happiness to see your son so happy that he is realizing a dream come true, but also feelings of fear of the unknown. Here is a young man, just a couple of years ago still considered a boy, going off to fulfill his dream, a dream that you know will change him forever.

Luke's parents held a neighborhood party where most of Luke's friends, neighbors and family gathered to wish him well. My husband and I were invited to the party along with our son. When we arrived we shook Luke's hand and congratulated him, which to me felt both right and wrong. He was obviously very happy - that felt right. He was going to be exposed to danger - that felt wrong. Perhaps that is the maternal instinct, to want to protect. His parents chose to celebrate his happiness - that I applaud and admire. They truly were letting go.

Luke had a lot of laughs with his friends and family that night. He received many good wishes from neighbors and parents of friends. His mother stayed close by most of the evening, enjoying the fun he was having with his friends. His father would come by now and then to visit with him and his friends, but mostly he sat around a bonfire in the backyard, staring into the flames in deep thought. The next day Luke was going golfing with his Dad for one last round before he would leave. From Luke's perspective life couldn't be better. He was happy and he was going to make a difference in the world. He made it easier to let him go.