Yesterday, March 10, 2008 I found out I have Leukemia. I am 48 years old and not ready for all this I have to see a specialist yet to find out which one I have.I think I just need to vent about it so maybe I will add more as things happen.

Well I went to the UPMC Cancer Center today and found out that normal white blood counts are between 4000 and 10,000 and mine is 132,000 so I have Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia which sounds worse then it is. I have to have a ct scan to find out how bad my lymph nodes are but they think I only have to have one week of chemo and I will not lose my hair. wow so happy about that lol.So i feel alot better now.I am trying to raise my 10 year old grandson so I really don't have time to be sick. Thanks for listening

Debby

Well it is now day three of my Leukemia and still scared of what they will find on the ct scan.Trying not to say much to my grandson he has it kinda bad not having his mom around do not want him to think I will not be here either. We lost my mom to cancer about 13 years ago and my baby sister(Amy) we are very close and she is not handling this well so trying to keep smiling a lot.

Day-4

Well went to work today but I seem to get so tired lately. And seem to get headaches a lot anymore. Was reading more today and it seems that I am at a greater chance to catch colds and stuff now because my white blood cells are not working like they are suppose to, and it seems every customer I waited on today was sneezing or coughing never seem to notice it before. by the way I work at Staples so deal with a lot of people every day. Just hope I do not get sick.

Day-5

I worked 1 to 10 today and sometime I think they are wrong because I really dont feel that bad.I seem more tired but that is it. but the big problem for me is tonight I stopped and bought the patch to quit smoking wow because I do have my grandson to raise and his mom walked away I have to be here for him so they have to go. Bought gum, lifesavers,candy, LoL but going to try my hardest so if anyone has quit and has any suggestions would love them. Well thanks for listening.

Debby

Day -6

I started reading a new book I found at our local good will, buy a lot of books there, it is called Cancer Battle Plan By Anne E. Frahm Six Startegies for beating cancer. About eating the right foods to cure your cancer it is a very interesting book she is dieing from cancer and gets a nutritionist to help her fight the cancer very interesting so far. Well first full day of no ciggarettes have no more food in the house but have not cheated, so far so good. I have not yell at anyone yet either. so I will let you know who I lose my temper on first lol. More latter

Debby

Day-7

Well worked today and found out when you do not smoke you have nothing to do on your break. lol Was surprised to find that it was that important to me. Did not yell at anyone yet but still want a cigarette. I have been reading so much more lately about cancer found an this and wanted to share it.

Would it surprise you to know that every person has some amount of

cancerous cells in his or her body? It only makes sense,

for people are regularly being exposed to negative assaults from

physical surroundings, aside from the stress of modern-day life

and the degenerative processes --*• introduced by the typical American diet.

Fortunately, our Creator has given us a built-in, fully integrated defense system,

designed to protect and keep us in peak performance. However, if this God-given

system becomes weak or dysfunctional, our bodies become vulnerable to takeover

by mutant cells—otherwise known as cancer

Debby

Day-7 and 8

Was very busy yesterday had to take my grandson to his excerise class had no time to get on here sorry. Well cheated this morning and had a cig kinda hard when my dad is still smoking and I can not get him to quit, but one cig since friday is not to bad.I will not know any more till I have my cat scan so going to do my dishes. More latter

Debby

Well today is friday the 21st and I get my CT scan today have to drink this nasty tasty stuff first , I am not alllowed to eat latter so going to go eat a good breakfast. More latter

Debby

Well still working on the smoking have cheated a few times it is the hardest habit to quit.Sometimes I just wish I could keep smoking without it being a problem, don't we all.Was really hurting yesterday, but feel better today. I still have not told my grandson and not going to untill I find out how much chemo I have to take, I think if my hair starts to fall out I will have to, he has been thru enough don't want him to think I will not be here for him. Me and my baby sister are very close and I feel bad for her our mother died of cancer and I don't want her to have to go thru that again so I have to stay healthy I am trying. Thanks for listening.

Debby

This has been the longest week it is only Wenesday waiting till monday to find out the results of my CT scan. Been cheating with my cigs trying but so hard think i need more help going to call my family doctor to see if they can give me something. More latter

Debby

Tomorrow March 31, 2008 I go back to the doctors to find out the results of my Ct scan and to be honest I am a little scared, really hoping it is not that bad. I worked today so the time went ratter quickly hope I can sleep tonight .Well more tomorrow after I get home lets all pray it is good news.

Debby

I went to the doctors today I do have CLL and I do have to have chemotherapy for 4 days next week to start. I will be taking three different kinds of medication Rituximab,Cyclophosphamide and Fludarabine Phosphate, they are not sure if I am going to lose my hair or not. I have not figured out what I should tell Jacob I wish it was over

Debby

Well this has been a rather a weird week for me had a lot of family members to call and had a lot call me. I wish I didn't have to have the chemo, I dont feel that sick and have a feeling I am going to be.The doctor told me there is some lymph nodes around my spllen so it is best to fight the cancer with the chemo and try to get rid of it.

Debby

Well tomorrow is my first day of chemotharphy and I am a little scared. Wonder if I could cancel, ha ha . I have to use my vacation days for this which is not fun, on vacation and sick. Hopefully I won't get that sick. I hope, Everyone and work sign a card for me it was very nice made me cry. My very good friend at work bought me a new outfit to wear for my first chemo and a flower,it was very sweet she is the nicest person in the world. A heart of gold. My sister is going with me tomorrow and I am really glad really don't want to go alone. Well have to get jacob's school clothes ready for tomorrow. Night everyone.

Debby

Well had my first chemo treatment and went ok I quess feel really tired.Had a bad reaction to the benadril(CANT SPELL) but it was such a long day was there form 10:00 to 5:00. I ate a little and so far it has stayed down. Well really tired going to bed real soon.

Debby

Day 2 of Chemo and so far so good. feeling ok so far. Got to talk to some other women today that are also getting chemo and they all seem to say the same thing that you don't start feeling sick until about the 3rd or 4th day so I still have that to look foward to that. they told me I need to pee a lot so I have been drinking a lot of water and visiting the bathroom a lot, have to get all the bad stuff out of me. Well see what happens tomorrow

Debby

Well done with first week of chemo and so far I don't feel to bad.On Monday my white blood counts was over one million which is very bad and on Thursday after 4 days of chemo it was down to 34 thousand which they tell me is very good. I have to get my blood check every Monday and Thursday for the next three weeks and then start chemo again. I have just have to wait and see if I lose my hair started looking for a wig just incase I need it, really hoping I don't. Well going to try to enjoy this weekend I am off and try not to think bad thoughts. Hope everyone has a nice weekend.

Debby

I had my blood checked twice this week on Monday and Thursday and both times it was still good. So that was very good news to hear, they tell me if my hair is going to fall out it will start this Monday so this is going to be a long weekend. I did not get sick on the chemo so maybe the hair will stay. Have received a lot of cards and phone calls form family and friends, long time ones that you have not hear from in a while which is nice to me that they still consider me a friend. I have a lot of friends that have forms of cancer and are either going thru chemo or raidation or are all ready done so lots of support here. The Relay for Life is coming up and going to walk for that. have done it before for my sister who died of cancer and my mom they lite candles for both of them it was a very touching night. Well to bed a go have to work.

Debby

April 22, 2008

Went to the doctor yesterday and things were ok I quess. My white blood count is still the same 34,000 which is better then it was but still not good.They told me that every chemo treatment I get, could be worst and that I could end up getting sick of losing my hair, which sometimes I feel is the worst part. I am grateful that I am going to be ok but the thought of being without hair is not going to well with me. I have chemo again in two weeks so I will know more then.

Debby

May 8,2008

Well in my second stage of chemo and not doing so well this week really tired and feeling rather sick to my stomach, working this week while taking chemo not a good choice. Should have taken the week off.

Debby

May,21

Well all done with second dose of chemo and still 2 more to go. This last week was a little harder was so tired by Friday could not go to work. Still having a hard time with the smoking thing. Sometimes it is just hard dealing with Jacob, and my dad and working gets a little hard.I have to go to the doctors today so should find out more then.

Debby

June 6,2008

This is suppose to be my third week of chemo, went on Monday and they checked my blood and it is 2.4 which is kinda low so they canceled the rest of it this week. Which in a way is good. So now I have to be worried it dose not go to low which could be worse. I see the doctor on the 25th and he will let me know if I still need more chemo.

I am done with chemo now and not feeling to bad. The doctor tells me my white blood count is still to low and I have to keep from getting sick. I work with the public and with my grandson in school, is going to hard started taking vitamin C hoping it helps. Now it is paying all the bills that are left, some times it dose not seem fair you pay for insurance for years hardly use it and when you do it still only pay some not all of it. Need to stay healthy to pay the bills.