In dealing with my recent breakup, I thought I would start this page to chronicle my journey and help others through the same. My current goal is to reunite with a man who stole my heart, then bolted. Sound familiar? There are many of us out there, here is to hopeless romantics.

 Although I had seen him around for a couple of years, I "met" him this past Christmas. He was handsome, charming, attentive, exciting, and brought sunshine in my life. Our romance was a whirlwind and a couple weeks in, I even met his family and friends! I had never been courted in such a way.

I'll spare the specifics, but immediatly after Valetines, he began to withdraw. Soon my confidence and energy went to exhausting myself trying to please him. I cooked for him, began calling HIM (when he used to call me a lot) and I suppose being needy. I can't lie he has Committment Phobic qualities, and I suspected this early on. We even talked about it vaguely. But, being a hopeless romantic, I began to push.

He tried to break up with me in March. He really likes me, but it is a crazy time in his life. Not sure what his feelings are. Etc. SLAP! Boom. My heart was broken. After a week of not eating and crying, I began to text him. Write letters. He came back for a while and we had some beautiful dates where things seemed to be coming back together. But as he was still testing the water, I jumped back in as if the breakup never happened. He began to avoid me and three weeks ago, we were done for good.

Some of you might think I am in denial. Perhaps I am. But I see too much good in this man and feel even though the pain he has caused, it is worth another shot. It will be hard, but atleast I will know. My biggest obstacle is in redeeming myself for my pre-breakup antics. When you read not to cry, beg, plead, text terrorize, and so on...believe it! If I had let him go the first time, I am certain I could have won him back. Now I am not so sure. So for now, I have let him go. I have not called or anything since our final breakup.

Now I begin an experiment to better myself (regain confidence and kill the whiny clingy demon inside of me he now may associate me with) and see if we can come together again. It will be hard, but it's worth a shot. If t doesn't work, atleast I will know.