There is no better life than the life in the forces. A fact that I stand by even today. Yes there are risks and they are no worse than any where else. I told my mother that as I married an air force officer. Being an army wife herself she had no major objections and was indeed happy for me. Yet the tensions that she has suffered did lead her to warn me about them. The tension of looming death.

While every one is bound to die one day, it is always sad to hear about a young soul dying. Most professions are not as dangerous as the defence forces. Naturally a soldier is exposed to far more dangers than a civilian. Yet each time a needless accident occurs, it brings home the mortality of humans to all of us.

As I type this out the aircraft wreck has been found. The bodies have burnt along with the shell. There is nothing to distinguish the bodies from the plane. The relatives who have gathered wait to see one distinguishable part of their loved one. Some thing that they can place in the casket to hold a funeral.

Given the nature of the crash, it is highly unlikely that they will find anything at all but the bones. As I hear story after story of the air crew that has perished I feel heavy and uneasy. It is easy to say that most of them would not have realized what happened. The first crash would have killed them before the bodies began to burn.

It is horrible to imagine what went through the minds of the flight crew as they realized that they had lost control of the aircraft. That the huge plane was going to crash and take them all to an early death. What does a man do in the final seconds before his death? What does he think of?

Now my heart bleeds for those left behind. The twins of the captain who will grow up with out him. The young wife who must now deal with being a widow. The mothers of the two youngsters who were on their route clearance sortie. The others who have lost a father, a husband, a brother and a son. And how they will deal with the loss.

Then there is the dread, that it happened at all. That it happened to friends, to acquaintances. That it could happen to family, to my own husband. It is his aircraft the AN32. After all an AN32 is not a fighter jet or combat aircraft. Its a transport plane. They are not supposed to crash. But they do. God help the bereaved families.