I started life in a leaky bathtub, so to speak. The rest of the journey has been slightly upgraded.

I was the product of a grand hope that nobody could count to nine. My "father" was serving in the Aleutian Islands during the war and didn't return stateside until late April of 1944. After some quick fanny covering by my mother, I was born in early December. Those were the days when being born on the wrong side of the sheets was practically a capital crime.

Oh well, apparently nobody noticed that problem, what with getting drunk on a daily basis and swatting the kids out of the way. I was sent off to Catholic school and told to NEVER discuss family issue - no kidding! My maternal unit's behavior became more bizarre as she aged. I learned the best way to avoid being physically abused was to never say a thing. I went to work at 15 as a journalist, stayed at school far past the 3 o'clock bell to learn and to hide, and just became "wallpaper" when I was at home. I lasted there until I was 17, and then I left for a life without slapping and yelling. That life was fairly devoid of dollars, decent food, and a safe place to sleep at night, but that's why we call it "choices", and mine was a better place for me.

But what do young girls do with no particular education? I wrote for newspapers, worked three menial low paying jobs at once, and lived in a series of cheap flops. I married the wrong man at 18 and realized that some people just have to grow up quickly. I was bound and determined that I'd stay married because too much divorce lurked in my family tree, but even I had my limits. I found myself divorced, packed into a car with a baby, my older daughter, and a stray cat, heading for Alaska. That seemed logically removed by several thousand miles from my ex husband and my destructive mother. Choices once again led me forward, albeit without much support.

Somewhere north of Seattle the sun was out as only it can be between rainstorms in the Pacific Northwest, and we pulled over and decided we'd gone far enough. While not specifically stupid, I was not street wise, and remarried and had more children. We were poor but we figured out ways to have fun without spending cash - most of us were in the same boat. I knew education would be my way to escape poverty and it took many years of piece-meal, class-by-class struggling to get where I wanted to go.

Looking back, I realize how hard we worked and what a struggle it was, but on a day-by-day basis, it seemed like we could work together and make things happen. Unfortunately, my husband couldn't muster the ability to resist the temptation of alcohol and he became one of the liabilities in my life rather than the assets. With four children and an addicted spouse, I decided that life was going to be as normal as I could make it on any day, and thirty one years passed before the children were raised and off on their own. Much as I occasionally wanted to dump my husband in a dustbin, I knew that God would give me just enough grace to stay for another day if I asked. Oh believe me, I asked on a daily basis and still do. Somehow I understand that addicted people can't actually dig deeply enough to find the strength to save themselves.

Most of my time has been spent as an educator and I continued on in that profession after returning to California. Education always equals fairly low pay, so it was never a question of whether we could long for the high life. But once you bring a Wal-Mart item home and put it in your living room, who knows where you bought it? I have learned how to live graciously on a dime - I've had a lifetime of experience. As long as you can remain clean, tidy, comfortable and cheerful, life is pretty good after all.

Consider this. If I had been born into a supportive home with loving parents and allowed education at an early age, I do believe that my life would look much different than it does now. No one can say for sure how that would have affected the quality of the life. But if you are dealt a hand of cards that doesn't quite suit your tastes, you simply have to play it out until the end. Winners don't sit around whining about this and that. They just take what's handed to them and polish it up. Remaining basically optimistic has made all the difference to my life's journey.

Yes you can achieve a good life, even if the road is rocky and not at all what you expected. If you forgive much, dump you grudges, love unconditionally, and keep working toward your goals, you won't slump on your deathbed and wonder why you didn't do more with whatever you had. I'm personally grateful for a strong spiritual tie to my God because it's the one belief that's trumped despair for many years.

Someone famous once said that you'd be about as happy as you expect to be. That's about right.