Life without parents- How to cope?
92Some Thoughts
As I think about the topic of "life without parents - how to cope", it is soberingly clear that there is not a simple "how-to" formula.
Factors that make a difference are the age of the person who is without parents, the reason that person is without parents, whether the person is still grieving the death of one or both parents, and the kind of relationship the person had, if any, with parents at one time.
When someone has had a great relationship and good parents losing them presents its own type of loss. On the other hand, people who have never had parents in their life have a different sense of loss.
My father died when I was 21 years old. That was an absolute shock that felt like a giant kick in the head. I was very aware that he would never get to know me as an adult and never get to see my children. Although, of course, we always move on after loss, I always felt short-changed to have lost him so young. (I was more than aware that many other people lost parents a lot younger than I was when he died, but that didn't alter my feeling short-changed.)
I had my mother until I was about 40. On the one hand, I was a little more prepared to lose her. On the other, getting used to not having her in my life may have been more difficult. After all, I had a much longer time with her in my life.
Even though I was good and mature when my mother passed away, since then I have had - somewhere in the back of my mind - the running thought that I no longer have either parent. As people do, I have gone on with my life. Still, I have to say that - on the whole - there is just a hint of sadness now that wasn't there before both of my parents died, and back when the world didn't seem a little bit broken.
While I guess I'm used to it at this point, I have to say that the way I coped after first losing each of my parents was to try not to think about them.
What about someone younger than I was? How are they to cope without parents? Over the course of my adult life I've had occasion to know several young people who faced the world without having their parents in their lives.
Some, more than others, felt enough of need for a mother figure or a father figure that they would seek out a caring adult, who could then offer some of the things a good parent offers. Surprisingly larger numbers of young people find themselves without parents in their lives for some reason. The world is full of people who have, however, found those "fill-in" adults they come to think of as parents. Sometimes an aunt or a grandparent will step in and act as parents.
Children and young teens, of course, really need someone who loves them enough to watch out for them. Older teens benefit from having a parent or two they're close to, and who offers support and guidance. Again, sometimes an aunt or grandparent can try to act as a parent. Sometimes young children are placed in foster homes in the hopes of offering them fill-in parents who will be good parents. Of course, not all foster parents are wonderful parents (many are), but children need to let their social workers know when something isn't right.
The truth is, whether we're four, fourteen, or over forty, it doesn't feel good not to have loving parents in our lives. For someone over forty, of course, there is not the issue of needing to mature. People who are grown up can live without parents. As I learned through the loss of my parents, losing a parent when one is mature feels a lot less short-changed than losing one when one is still just twenty-one. I also learned (as many other people must learn as well), that someone in his late teens or early twenties really can live without a parent. It isn't ideal, but people this age have their whole lives ahead of them, and they're just beginning to build those lives. Focusing on the building one's own life, and keeping in mind that the world is full of people who don't have ideal family situations, may be the best way for people this age to cope.
Young teens may find not having parents particularly difficult, because life for young teens is full of upheaval anyway. There's a whole lot about life at this age with which young people can be dissatisfied (or downright miserable), and not at least feeling grounded enough by having parents can be particularly difficult. People of this age really do need to have some caring adult (or several in the family) to try to "be there" for them. People this age who feel they have no "fill-in" parent should really talk to a school counselor about the situation. Sometimes there are ways to remedy the situation. At other times, a counselor may at least be able to offer support and tips for coping with a difficult situation. As with older teens and young adults, teens this age may find it helps to focus on what they want to do with their own lives, and to work toward achieving their own goals.
Since children younger than early teens are not likely to reading Hubpages I will not address the special needs of children this young.
With any negative situation in life it can help to keep in mind that most lives are not perfect. Some young people have their parents, but one or both of them is abusive or a substance abuser. People who do have very close relationships with parents can suffer more grief when they lose them. People who are young when they must face life without parents usually grow up a little faster in some ways. At the same time, people without parents may feel they have "been chosen" for unfair treatment. Trying to put the situation into perspective, and saying, "I will not let this take more from me than it already has" can help.
It is always important to focus on what you have, rather than what you don't have - and may never have. If you're young you have your whole future ahead of you. There are no words to express the vast possibilities that exist for each and every young person, provided that young person wants to find them. If you had good parents once but lost them keep in mind how fortunate you are to have had them once, and remember that you brought them joy. If you have never had parents in your life keep in mind that - whether it is ideal or not - each and every one of us is an individual and can live without parents if necessary.
If the situation of not having parents is fairly recent, tell yourself not to think about it for now. You can "process" it all later, when the loss is not so new. For now, get through the days by finding positive things to think about and by being with people who can make you laugh. (If you can't be around people who will make you laugh at least watch plenty of sitcoms that will make you laugh. Laughter helps nurture the soul, and it's far more important than many people realize.)
Speaking of nurturing the soul: Find things that are beautiful in life. This may sound shallow, but making sure you have beauty in your life nurtures the soul. That can be beautiful music, creating art, decorating a room, or enjoying a great Spring morning. The smaller pleasures in life can add up and help nurture the soul enough so that coping feels a little easier.
The thing about wondering how we will cope is this: There are times in life when we can't imagine how we will cope, or how we will get through a certain period of time; and somehow we just do. That's the thing about us, people. We're stronger than we tend to think we are.
Maybe, too, it can help to keep in mind that even people who have their parents in their life will one day, most likely, face life without them. I know there's a big difference between not having parents at forty or sixty and not having them at eight or seventeen. Still, the reality is that from the day we are born our journey is ours, alone. It isn't easy or nice to be without parents for the earlier part of that journey; but those of us who had our good parents when we were young can tell you that the job of parents is to help their children be independent enough to make the journey alone.
Finally, I don't know if anything I've said is of any help, or whether this will be, but keep in mind that none of us have been plucked from a cabbage patch. We all have parents. We are all the same in the way. Whether or not we have had good parents, or whether we have had our parents for a long enough time, are all a matter of individual situations.
Those times when a person is feeling as if other people have what s/he does not have, maybe it can help to keep in mind that not having parents in one's life does not mean not having any parents. Our parents' story - happy or tragic - is part of our story. It may not be possible to have our parents in our lives, but that doesn't mean that our parents' genes, story, and legacy are not ours. Maybe remembering this can help too.
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Comments
Kiran, it's funny you should say that. One of my three children happens to have been adopted from infancy. I think the same as you do. :)
Good article. So many people in their lives have suffered without parents. Many of us need a reminder to stay in piece. Unfortunately, some people weren't able to bring their parents to great joy in their lives, because they died at a young age, just like my grandparents. We just have to trust in god to believe to feel better and remember that we were lucky to have good parents.
Hi,
I lost my mother just 6 months after my wedding ,in 1995 when I was JUST 21.My mother was only 47 and died suddenly .My sisters were in their teens then.My father turned out to be strong and stood by our sides .He got my sisters married .My youngest sister got married in 2006 and my father was left behind alone.All of us are now abroad.We were sad but made sure we visited him during our vacations and spent maximum time we could, with him.On Nov 5th 2008 ,I got a call from neighbour that he had met with an accident while crossing the road .Two boys on a two wheeler had knocked him down .It was hit and run case.Luckily a known person recognised my father at the site and informed us and got him admitted to a hospital.We all reached in a day .He had to undergo a brain surgery due to head injury.He was in coma for 40 days .In between he did gain consciousness for 4 days and looked at us but we still dont know if he recognised us .On 13th Dec he breathed his last .He was 68.
Life has been miserable since then.People tell me to keep faith in god and feel what he has done is the best for us .It is unacceptable to think that god has done something so bad and that can be good for us.How good can one feel about the fact that one does not have both parents at 35 ,and my sisters are just 32 and 30. I have stopped praying!!!!I feel If everything has to happen according to destiny then why pray? Every morning I get up thinking I have no parents.I miss them terribly. When I hear friends talking about their parents I feel more hurt and just feel like yelling at God.Dont know if he even exists!
Sona, although I have not been in your exact circumstances, I know exactly how you feel (and most people who have had a few awful losses do too). What you say is so much exactly what so many people feel - including the the thing about not praying.
I was 21 when my father died (at 62), and my brother was only in his teens. I had my mother until she was 77 (1995 - we have something in common). I was middle aged when my mother died, and it was all those years ago; but even though I'm used to it, it is not easy. It hasn't been long at all for your father. I have found (I hate to say this) that it seems to take about 5 years to really start to feel normal after such a loss. It gets better with each year, but I don't even think you start to feel better until you get closer to at least the second year.
Not that I think it will help, but in August 2008 I wrote my own version of "how to deal with grief. It's on a blog aimed at people older than you are, but it isn't written just for older people. If you were to click on my profile, find the link for "No Senior Coffee", you would see it. (I had been through so much I thought I had picked up a little "expertise" that I could share.)
What you say about giving up praying is what a lot of people say too. The way I see it, if God exists He'll understand why you're angry at Him. If He doesn't exist, then - nobody needs to understand. Most people generally believe that even if God exists, He doesn't do things like stop the person who hit your father (as if that person were a puppet on strings). The other day I just wrote a Hub (in answer to a request), "Does something good always come from something bad" (under "life" on my Hub profile). I don't know if any of my "ponderings" would be of any use to you. I'm not trying to push my writing, and I doubt have much to say that will help. Still, I know how things can get; and - I don't know - I suppose, maybe, I think some of my personal "muddling through" and figuring out coping skills may useful to someone.
In any case, it will get better. It's really too soon for you to expect to feel any more "ok" after losing your father; and the fact that it was accident makes it that much more complicated. Losing a mother is always a big, complicated, thing too. On top of it, losing the parent you went through losing the other parent with (and got used to having as your one remaining parent), has its own set of "issues" too.
I am sorry to know that you have this situation. It may sound corny and over-simplified, but sometimes all you can do is try to keep yourself thinking about other people/things, and kind of "tucking away" thoughts of all the sadness/loss - at least until enough time has passed to be able to "drag them out" and process them, when they're "older".
Hi Lisa,
Thanks for your prompt reply and sorry to get back to you so late.I could nto access your article "Does something good always come from something bad" (under "life" on my Hub profile).Could you plese send me the link so that I can click on to it and get to it straight
Thanks for your message.I still feel miserable and as you say time would be the best healer I guess.
Sona
Sona, sorry to know that you feel miserable. As the person who has tried to find the words to help some people feel better as such times, I know that sometimes words just don't do the trick. Even so, I'm putting the link you asked about, and a few others, below. I don't really know why there were problems accessing it.
Not that I think anything I've written can be of any help to anyone at all, but I'm also posting another link - just in case there's even a shred of any helpful ideas in it.
None of us likes to think of others feeling miserable in this life, so I sincerely hope you find some way to find ways to get through this rough time, just while time has the chance to do the job of healing. Thoughts go out to you.
Hi Lisa,
Thanks again for your rompt reply.You are such a sweet person.I think you forgot to send me the link. sona
Sona, sorry I didn't mention this earlier. I believe HubPages prohibits posting links to our own material in our Hubs, and I don't know your e.mail address to send it. I'm honored that you're looking for it and don't really know why you had trouble accessing it.
If you're still interested in finding the article, I just posted that one and a few others on my "Lisa's Collection" blog. If you go to my profile, here, on HubPages (just click on my name or else select "profile"), then scroll down to the second link, "Lisa's Collection" - click on that, and you'll get a page of a few articles that you may find "apply" to your situation. I don't know if they'll be helpful, but I did just post them all on that page for you.
Not that you want to be bothered with this, and not that it will be particularly entertaining or "fun"; but I created a different blog (Lisa Light) with the idea of trying to add just light stuff and entertainment. I'm honestly not trying to "push" the blog. I just thought, because it has silly/light music on it, a bunch of pleasant entertainment videos (at the bottom) and some comedy videos (farther down at the bottom); you may find something a little cheerful to brighten your day. The writing is either just silliness or else on the lighter side. I'm not even suggesting reading any of it. It's just the light, happy, music and videos that I think are pleasant and nice, that I thought you may enjoy.
Anyway, thank you again for requesting the link. Again, I think I know how you feel. Sorry I didn't post this earlier; but it took a little while for me to add the stuff to the blog, so you can access it (at least I hope).
Not to discourage you from reading what I think is a seriously thought-out, personal, Hub about my own bad experiences; but before you read it, thinking there will be a message about there always being good that comes out of bad (and then being disappointed), I want to say upfront that the Hub doesn't offer such a clear message as that.
good thing
Lisa I have really enjoyed reading this. My father left my mother before I was born. And then my mother gave my brother and myself to my grandmother when I was four years old. She remarried and started another family. The hurt never goes away. I write poetry, and it helps putting my thoughts down on paper. Growing up without parents has made me a stronger person. And also a very independent person. My heart goes out to everyone that has had loving parents, and they have lost them, at any age.
Grammagil, thanks for sharing. The number of people who grow up without parents (or at least without having them in their lives very much) can seem overwhelming. My children's grandmother grew up in an orphanage with her four siblings because their parents died in the flu epidemic at the beginning of the century. When she became a mother herself she was so aware of giving her children a "regular" childhood. She ended up having 6 beautiful grandchildren. I do think it's important to focus on what we have rather than what we don't have. Just about everybody doesn't have something in his life, (unfortunately).
Nice hub. Sometimes we live without a parent - or parts of a parent anyway - when they are not deceased. You still have to grieve and let yourself feel.
Thanks for sharing!! Your parents are very proud im sure!!! You dont know what you have till its gone most the time:-)
jabyrd82, thanks.
Parents that abandon their children are the worst individuals ever!!! I have absolutely no respect for them, neither do I believe they should be fortunate to have any children after the fact. i will write a hub concerning this matter from my own experience. i feel for all the children that have been abandoned due to selfish and irresponsible parents. My heart goes out to you especially if you are not strong enough to deal with the reality of having no one in your life while you experience this experience called life! ciao
vonda g. nelson
reeltaulk, thanks for contributing your thoughts. :) If you write that Hub, and if you would like, feel free to contact me; and I'll put a link on this Hub to yours.
This Hub was written in response to a request; and at the time I couldn't just ignore the request. While I could write from the perspective of now living without living parents, I could not write from the perspective of not growing up with wonderful parents. I had my wonderful father until I was 21, and I was fortunate enough to have my loving mother until I was 41. So, I think it would be a great idea to write that Hub you mentioned (and let me know if you want me to link to it from here).
ok will do.....sorry I totally forgot I responded to this. I must have forgotten. I don't think about issues as such, just gets your mind all twisted from the hate that surrounds it, but I will make the effort to write a hub about it.....ciao
hi.....this web is totally in to my life and awesome..........
I have been without a father since I was 4 he died in an auto accident due to weather and maybe his habit of drinking and anger. I am 41 now and I think the loss depresses me more now than ever before. My father was only 37 he left behind my brother who was 12 and my sister at age 7 and my mother was 35. I don't know how she dealt with everything but she did She took us everywhere and gave us everything she possible could and gave up her life for us kids she never remarried and is now 72 she is in poor health but she still is my rock. Looking back I had a wonderful childhood besides my brother and sister hating me and telling me things like "dads dead dummy" and "I wish you would have died instead of dad". I just remember being at the funeral home sitting in the front and looking at the man in the casket and saying "look mom its Frankinstein" his neck was broken so I am thinking he must have been swollen and bruised badly. My mother has told me stories about what happen and my brother has told me a different story and then my cousin told me something else but anyhow I guess it doesn't matter what really happened he is gone and I am just having such a hard time. I didn't really know him or really miss him until I looked at my own son at the age 4 and thought OMG this is how old I was and then again at 7 and again at 12 and when I turned 37 I really didn't leave the house I was afraid I would die just like my father I hate the fog and I hate fathers Day and I hate how spoiled my girlfriends are by their fathers and how they complain about their fathers I just want to slap them and tell them you are lucky you have a dad and lucky your dad helps you I guess I am jealous I MISS MY DAD MORE NOW THEN EVER!!!! I prayed to God to please let it all be a bad dream and I prayed and prayed to please let him come to me in my dreams so I can see him and hear his voice and have him hold me and tell me "everything will be alright" or " its ok sweetheart I LOVE YOU" and finally about a year or so ago he did... he came to me in my dream and we spent the whole day together it was like heaven I saw him and we hung out I got to hear his voice and see his smile and hold his hand so anyhow I could go on and on about how I wish I had my father. I go through stages and then I get so mad at him for leaving me and why did he go and do what he did that night I think to myself how selfish he was going out and leaving me and my mother while he supposedly went to help some woman and her son Oh well I guess I forgive him but this is one time when time doesn't heal the older I get the more I miss him and when I see a father holding their baby girl I have to fight back tears all I ever wanted was my father to protect me and be there for me to help me when things get tough I love my mother and thank God for her I feel so sorry for her she has been alone for 37 years he has been gone as many years as he lived and the hurt and loss never goes away for me it just get worse all I ever wanted was my father. I have always wanted a father and I think I have always searched to be loved by a man and every relationship I have had with a man has failed who knows why but anyhow a just happened to think People without Parents what a great web site it would be if people without Parents or parents without people in their lives could connect and here it is I read the stories and I feel the pain I am so sorry for everyones loss. God does exist I know it!!! so just keep praying and your loved ones will come to you in your dreams they are still here with us you just have to let them come through they will help you on your path and teach you lessons so keep the faith. Peace to all!!!
catherine, thank you for sharing your story here. I'm sorry to read about such loss. Your comments have inspired me to write a Hub that addresses the issue of children without parents from a more "formal" perspective than this Hub (which I wrote in response to someone's individual request) is. I need to put together some research, of course.
I think when someone dies young and when the "key survivors" are young there can be that element of the loss seeming to "grow" (even though grief may or may not) as we get older. Not to compare this with the loss of the a father, but I was in an accident that killed my 20-old girlfriend. The whole thing was awful and seemed like a giant loss (and all that), and then I went on to "get past it". When I got old enough to have my own kids turn 20 I started to see how young 20 really is, and then I started to go over all the things my friend didn't get to go on and have in life. It's as if, as time goes on, we get to really see (and not just imagine) what a person (or we) missed.
Wen I was three I lost both of my parents in a car accident. The bad thing about it is that my brothers and I were in the car. I am 18 right now and I am fortunate to have been raised by my aunt but I feel worse as I get older. I can't help but think about all the memories that I never had. I can't remember anything about them and that hurts the worse. And my biggest fear is losing my aunt who is like a mother. I feel like life is unfair to me but I try my best not to give up. It seems to be getting harder and harder
JSC, I'm so sorry to hear such an awful story. There's no doubt about it that it's unfair. In a way I'm reluctant to even try to offer some thoughts here, because I know that your situation isn't one that I'm really worthy of trying to offer something helpful on. As a mother, myself, I do feel some need to make a few comments; because I just hate to think of someone living with what you've had to live with. I can only draw on my own life experiences in trying to offer some thoughts, but please understand that I'm not comparing my own experiences to yours.
I know what you mean about that fear of losing someone close, like your aunt. I was in a car accident in which my closest girlfriend was killed, and a few months later my father died. I was just under 21 at the time, and I was left with that awareness that people can just be "taken" from us at any time. I had to learn to tell myself that "the rest of the world" lives with close friends and family members for long, long, lives without losing them until the time is more in keeping with what's normal. I had to also learn to tell myself that there was no point in worrying about something that might never happen. I just decided it wasn't a way to live a life, and if I lost someone else I'd deal with it. Something else is that my mother was sick when I was six years old. She got better, but I was left worrying about her dying throughout my whole childhood and early adulthood. It turned out I was over 40 when she eventually did die a 76, and I've always thought how I spent all those years with that worry in the back of my head - and I had her until I was old enough to be able to deal with losing her (as much as anyone can ever deal with losing a parent). Getting back to my own accident (and even my mother's illness), sometimes we have to ask ourselves if we want some "monster" (like such an event) to take yet more away from us than it already has.
One of my children now grown) is an adopted child, and the other two (also grown) are children I had myself. I know, first-hand, that my relationship with all three is every bit the same. So, while, on the one hand, I know your aunt is your aunt; and I have no doubt you're very close to her; on the other hand, (and I don't want to seem to be "playing down" the loss of your parents) I would hope you know that, in so many ways, you have had what so many other people have as children (that relationship with someone who has been, essentially, your mother, or mother-figure).
If I could travel back in time to when my own children were three, and if I ask what I'd want for them if I died, first I'd be sickened at the idea that I'd have to leave them without me, but I'd hope there was someone who would take very good care of them and love them and help them get through it. If I thought that one day they wouldn't really remember me I would't prefer that, of course, but I think I'd almost rather that than picture them longing for me throughout their childhood and later. I'd hope they knew how much I loved them, and how they made me my life so worth living, and I'd so much want them to get used to the loss and be able to know they had a right to find happiness and feel happiness. I would't want them to feel as if happiness wasn't meant for them. As a mother, one of the worst things in the world is to know that your child isn't happy. That's all any mother (or father) wants; and even though nobody can expect someone who isn't happy to "just be happy", if there's any way at all for you to know what having you and your brothers meant to your parents, and to know how much they would have wanted you to find some "mental peace" in knowing how whole and complete each child makes a parent's life, maybe it would feel a little more ok that you don't remember them the way you wish you did.
Again, as a mother myself, I think I'd rather my young children not remember me as well, rather than remember me really well and continue to miss me.
While I can't put myself in your place (because I had my two parents until I was grown; although I have to say that the longer I lived life with each of them, the harder it was, in ways, to get used to living life without them), I've had something happen in my life that involves losing years with someone that I should have had. I was an adult when it happened, but I still live with anger and sadness at knowing I can't get back what I "should have had". I'd feel better if I could, say, find whoever/whatever is responsible and, say, bash their head in; but there isn't any way to do such a thing (and, even if a person could be blamed, that's, of course, a ridiculous and unacceptable thing to imagine doing). What that means, though, is that I have no outlet for my anger. What I've learned, too, is that the longer we go with sadness "filling our head" I guess the brain chemicals we "get going" kind of put us under yet more influence of those "sadness chemicals". I think the answer is to find things to think about that add happier things to what's in our heads, because as happier thoughts enter our heads they eventually start to seem to push back the "gray" thoughts and make us feel a little brighter. This thing I've mentioned that I've been dealing with is something that I've recently, more and more, considered seeking professional advice about; because my usual positive thinking is having trouble shaking it. Because I know how challenging my own "issue" has been for me, even as someone well into middle age; I'm wondering if maybe you might want to consider talking to someone about your own difficulties dealing with your situation. You're young, needless to say. Also, people your age are often prone to some sadness associated, I guess, with the loss of childhood and sometimes the uncertainty of life as an adult. So, besides the thing with losing your parents, you're kind of at an age for some "feeling down" anyway. Maybe, too, as you get close to leaving your teens, there's some issue with being hit with the reality that your childhood has past, and it was what it was? Maybe you're actually dealing with coming to terms with the reality of what you now see you won't get to have with your parents?
Just some thoughts. I have no idea if any of them apply, or if they're at all helpful; but I know, as a mother, if you were my daughter I would so hope you could figure out what it will take to iron out the hurt, even if that means seeing someone with experience helping people in situations like yours. Knowing what I know about being your age and about having things in a childhood that weren't how they were "supposed to be", I have a feeling that what you're dealing with now is processing your loss from the standpoint of being where you are now,rather than processing it from where you were then. If your brothers are older than you they may have gone through something similar around your age. If they're younger they may have it ahead of them, if I'm correct in what I think could be going on.
This link is to a blog (sort of) that I have up because I wanted to send a message about drunk driving. My own accident story, and dealing with the loss of my young friend even decades later are covered in the stories I have on there. It's a pretty depressing blog, but there aren't really any "gory details". It's all about processing the loss over the course of my adult lifetime. Again, I'm not comparing your accident or your loss with my own; but I'm wondering if there may be something in what I've written that may ring some bell with you even if our experiences were extremely different. The seventh paragraph down in the first story is what I mostly have in mind, because I addressed what I think of as "secondary grief" (in my case, decades later).
Well, again, I don't know if anything I've said here is of any help; but your situation certainly seemed worth trying to help. People so often say, "You're young. You're in the best years of life, and you have your whole future ahead of you." In ways, that's, of course, true; but I think it takes all of us, no matter what loss or issues we have or haven't had
On Grief and Loss
- Grief Counseling - Dealing with Loss – Death of a Loved One
- Dealing with the Loss of a Parent
- Coping with the Loss of a Parent - Dealing with the Death of a Parent
- It's My Life . Parents/Teachers . Dealing With Death . Resources ...
- Coping With Grief: Tips for Dealing with Death, Child Grief Counseling
- Dealing With Death - Helping Your Child Handle a Death in the ...
- GriefNet - A Community of Persons Dealing With Grief, Death, and ...
- Index - Dealing with the Loss of a Parent
Coping Techniques
kiran kumaria says:
2 years ago
Nice article. Without parents life is difficult but there is always a way out for happiness - smile and have faith on god that you will succeed in life as your parent's blessings are always with you. Love every person as everybody need love and care in life. I personally feel every individual must adopt atleast one child and make his/ her life full of colours.