Parents and children have debated over music for at least 60 years. The introduction of Rock and Roll brought shivers to parents across the modern world. Parents covered their childrens' eyes when Elvis gyrated those hips. Loud guitars, pulsating beats, and anti-social lyrics concerned anyone responsible for the development of a younger mind.

The debate continued through the sixties and the seventies as music took on social issues of the day. The Vietnam War, drugs, free love, and the "establishment" were the topics of several genres of music, because music brought more power to the lyrics. The power of music to move or motivate someone to behave in a particular manner was not a new concept, but the anti-social, anti-war themes were new to the Post World War II, social order of the time.

In the eighties, we were shocked by the increase in the more sadistic themes of heavy metal and rap music. In the nineties, it wasn't just an issue of what is appropriate; it became a matter of life and death. RocknRoll lyrics became more explicit and much more available to a younger audience with the cassette tape players and boom boxes of the day. You could carry your music with you. Lyrics were becoming more violent and sexually explicit. Illegal drugs and alcohol were the norm according to popular music.Satanic themes and promotion of suicide as an alternative way to solve your problems were explained in lyrics in great detail.

Top selling albums glamorized many of these themes in music marketed to young people. On the subject of suicide: "Suicide is the only way out, don't you know what it's really about?" Murder: "Laid out cold, now we're both alone, but killing you helped me keep you home," Rape: "I want action tonight, if I can't have her, I'll take her and make her, " Drugs: "I'm never dustin' out (angel dust) cause I trust that crack (a deadly form of cocaine)" Incest: "My sister never made love to anyone else but me, she's the reason for my sexuality." These are lyrics from the 1990s!

If you are shocked to be reading these lyrics, please keep in mind that these are taken from albums that were placed in the top ten in the 1990s. They were pumped into the hearts and the minds of the children of that day on a daily basis through radio and television. Add the phenomenon of music video that began in that time period, the power of music added to visual aids, and the potential impact is magnified many times over.

Today, we can see music videos on our televisions, Ipods, computera, and telephones, There is no theme too shocking to be discussed in today's lyrics. Our children will see things and hear things that we don't want them to see or hear, no matter how careful we are. So, as parents, what can we do right?

Jeff Ling, youth minister of the New Covenant Church, in Woodbridge, Va., states parent's concerns very well, "If you're like most parents, you face the dilemma of knowing how to respond to this issue in a positive, practical way. I know that the problem of violent, pornographic lyrics exists, but what am I supposed to do. My child loves rock music, all his friends listen to it, I just can't take it all away, can I?"

Three practical steps can be taken in order to insure any degree of success in guiding your child's musical choices.

1. Listen, before you lay down the law. Many parents take the "dump-all-this-trash-in-the-garbage-where-it-belongs" approach. You could be throwing the baby out with the bath water, and you risk alienating your child.

2. Establish specific guidelines as to what kind of themes are appropriate. Let your child know that while you like or dislike their choice of music, there are some themes in popular music of every style that you will not tolerate within your home. The more specific you are, the easier it is for them to enjoy the kind of music they enjoy, and still remain within the guidelines you set. It's also easier for them to understand your concerns when you are specific. In today's music industry, where so much music is purchased online, children can even listen to the music ahead of time and purchase only those songs that fall within your guidelines. They learn to be more discriminate in their purchases.

3. Help your child pick out music consistent with your guidelines at first, until they feel more confident in their own abilities. Don't wait until they're teenagers to enjoy and purchase music together. When they become teenagers, they're striking out on their own and defining their own likes and dislikes, so discussions held that late in the game tend to be more confrontational.

There is no quick fix when it comes to guiding our children in their many life choices, and it takes time and effort to help them. The rewards are well worth the efforts!