Nearly seven years ago my family adopted two children, a brother and sister, into our home. We did not find out until four years later that both of these children had autism. Never, ever will we regret adopting these two beautiful, precious children; they are far too much a part of us for any regret to be thought of. However, it has made understanding my brother and sister with their differences a much more difficult transition than we anticipated. I am quite sure that adopting them was the right thing for our family to do, and I am so glad we did. I only wish that we could have known sooner, that we could have understood and helped them more. Even now there is so much we don't understand and I'm sure there is still much we get wrong. But we are learning, doing research, and trying to change and adapt for them.

I think that in our particular situation there is more than just autism at work. My littlest sister was just a baby when we adopted her, so she adapted into the family much more quickly than my youngest brother who was just graduating out of preschool at the time of adoption. Unfortunately, there are still times when it feels like he has not quite fully integrated into the family, and I just want to pull him into my heart and hold him until he is inescapably part of us.

One of the biggest and most important lessons for us, even before we learned of the autism, was patience. When dealing with children that seem to be so far behind other children for no obvious reason it takes loads of patience and twice as much love to still be proud of them no matter how long it takes them to get there. No matter how many regressions there are, no matter how many naughty things they do, no matter how much they unintentionally hurt you, no matter what you have to just keep loving.

And as time went by, I realized that my siblings were actually teaching me important lessons about life. The first and most important was that everything I just said about love and patience applies to everyone in my life. Sure, we can say that sort of thing about children with autism, people with "real problems," but why would we cut someone a break when they have "no excuse" for treating us that way? It's a pretty hard thing to do, letting go of hurt. In fact, pretty impossible unless you have got a true sense of who you are, what you're worth, and how loved you are.

It seems like everything I say leads to this, but that is probably just because it is such a central part of my life. Here it goes: the only way you can do something like this is with divine power. Not religion; real, unadulterated, powerful, loving, personal GOD. He wants you to know Him, not religion.

For having lived with two children with autism for nearly seven years I feel like I know surprisingly little about autism. However, I suppose I've learned more about how to deal with it than actual facts about it.

One of our most recent lessons was a chemistry lesson. Ever heard of melatonin? Well, people with austism do not produce melatonin. We're not quite sure of all of the body's uses for melatonin, but taking it has greatly helped my siblings sleep better and longer. Before they began taking melatonin every night they both would stay up late (young children, mind you) and get up after 8 hours of sleep. Now they are getting 10 or more hours a night (on average). Realistically, this is not just improving their sleep, but all of life. Now that they are getting enough sleep they have more energy and are less likely to get overwhelmed and frustrated. When I also take into consideration the effect that sleep has on scholastic performance, I am convinced that this must be a very good thing.

Another discovery has been the positive effect of water. Somehow it has a calming, soothing effect on many people with autism, so my father has been trying to make sure that my baby sister gets to take a long, calming bath whenever she wants one (which can sometimes be multiple times a day). This both calms her when she's frustrated and keeps her from getting as frustrated as often.

We've also discovered the greater need for touch. I don't remember what the statistic is for the average number of hugs a person needs every day, but I wouldn't be surprised if that number was greater for people with autism, especially children. Sometimes one of the most calming things we can do for my youngest brother is just to gently brush fingertips up and down his arms, neck, or back. This is especially helpful when he is feeling tense, but it is also good to remind him that he is loved and he is family. I know that my baby sister is the biggest hug-giver I have ever met. She hugs everyone many times a day, and is not ashamed to run up to near-strangers and hug them as well.

Just like any other person, they have their own weak naughty spots. My brother has a penchant for helping himself (most generously and without asking) to food, while my little sister adores cutting things with scissors (paper and hair especially). And just like any other people, we all have different ways we handle (or mishandle) this kind of incident. While I am less likely to get angry, I am also less likely to take the initiative and help them before there are problems. On the other hand, there are personalities in my family that are more likely to get angry, but also more likely to be kind beforehand and prevent such outbreaks. We are all learning together to be better family for each other, not just for my siblings with autism.

The autism can either divide my family, or bring us together in love. My hope and prayer is that it is not a divisive tool, but one that brings unity. Really, though, anything is like that. Different personalities, change, challenging experiences, difficult times, trials, enemies, friends, everything can either divide or unite us and I pray to God that they unite us.