Long Distance Relationships

You're in love. Life is good. You'll be together forever. You're so happy with each other and things couldn't be better. Well, what happens when you move away from the person you love and can't stand to be without? Things are rough, but life goes on for a while. How long does it last? Being in a long distance relationship definitely takes a toll on both people. It's not easy, obviously. A long distance relationship could mean across the country, but it could also just mean a few hours away. When you're in college and don't have any form of transportation, a few hours is easily considered long distance. A lot goes into making this kind of relationship work. Trust, loneliness, and visiting are just a few things to think about. 

Trust

Probably the biggest problem with long distance relationships is trust. At college there are parties, alcohol, and tons of singles ready to party. Sitting in your room all the time because you have someone back home who you love probably isn't going to happen. If it does, it's likely you wont enjoy college at all. Go out, have a good time, meet new people. But keep in mind, there is something back home that you've put a lot of effort into. Is one night of partying and drinking worth the person you want to spend your life with? Chances are, it's not. On one hand, you're in college and want to go out and have fun with your friends. On the other hand, you don't want to upset your significant other. What you really need from them is trust. You know you wont do anything to ruin what you have with them. Nothing in the world could change how you feel about them. Their trust, or lack there of, will determine how you experience college life. If they trust that you are theirs and only theirs,  things will be ok. Yes, they may be jealous that you get to go out or worried about you, but as long as they trust you and what you say, you're doing ok. When they don't trust you, you've got one of the biggest problems in any relationship on your hands. You can't go out without feeling guilty. Hanging out with new friends you've made makes you feel like a bad person and like you're not giving enough attention to the one back home. You are constantly thinking how everything you do will make them feel and if they'll be mad about it. You hesitate to tell them about your day because of how they might react to something. You are reassuring them time and time again that you love them and aren't doing anything that will hurt your relationship. Trust is obviously they key to any relationship and is even more important in a long distance relationship. WIthout trust, you have nothing. 

Loneliness 

So you're away at college and it seems like everyone is doing something with their significant other, but yours is at home. It's nice to Skype them and be able to talk to them, but it's not the same. You don't have someone to walk around with and hold hands. No one is there to cuddle with you when you want to take a nap or to rub your back when you don't feel good. You can throw yourself into a bunch of activities to help fill the time. But who wants to be busy all the time, doing things just to fill the hole of that missing person in your life? Being far away definitely gives you a lot to think about. Is this really the person you want to be with? Can you handle only seeing them every so often? After a while, your heart can only handle so much. It gets harder and harder to be without the one you love each and every day. Going from seeing this person every single day, even if just for a minute, turns to seeing them once every few weeks. One hug or one kiss means so much when you can't have it. A hand to hold seems like a necessity when you haven't had it in two weeks. Little things that just aren't there because they're at home, are so much more valuable than they seem when you can have them. 

Visiting

The time has come and your love is coming to visit or you're going home to see them. You're so excited you almost can't handle yourself. Things are great for the weekend or break that you're with them. Everything is back to how it was and you can't understand why you fought so much when you weren't with them. There is no doubt in your mind that this is who you want to be with forever. Two weekend out of the month are like two weekends of heaven. But what happens when Friday night quickly turns to Monday morning and it's back to reality? Does visiting and seeing them periodically make things harder? It really depends on the relationship. For some people, it helps to see their loved one even if it is only twice a month. For others, it makes things even harder. It's like someone giving you a piece of chocolate cake and taking it away when you've only had two bites. You crave chocolate cake for quite some time until you get what you want. 

To recap, no relationship, let alone a long distance one, will be successful without trust. Sometimes you will just have to deal with being lonely. You have to remember that visiting won't always make everything better. It's going to be hard and you are the one to decide if it is going to be worth it in the long run. Yes, you left the number one person in your life at home. They mean everything to you and you wouldn't want it any other way. But, if they love you and trust you, they will realize you did it for the right reasons. It's hard for them too and they have all the same things to consider when evaluating the relationship. Are they in for now, but out when it gets too hard? Or are they in for the long run and are ready for all the bumps along the way?