Bang and the door went shut. I sat there absolutely numbed. What happened to me? My dreams of happiness? Living happily ever after? All that had gone with Peter. After the first shock wave worn off I asked myself, 'what now? Where do I go from here? Stop it. He is gone and won't be back. Remembering the good times doesn't do you any good. Also remember, you had rows and rows towards the end.'

I went to bed but didn't sleep properly. The next day my friends, at work, gathered around me to find out what had happened.

"He left me for someone else," I wailed and tears started to roll down my cheeks. They tried to console me. What could they say or do, to take my heartbreak away? They took me out, to cheer me up, but it didn't work either.

Days went into weeks and I started to cope.

One day there was a letter in the post. It was from my Grandfather. He lives up in the Highland of Scotland. He was asking me, would I like to come up there for a holiday? He mentioned, he hasn't seen me for such a long time and misses me. I am sure you still remember the good time we had, walking along the Loch and fishing. Walking up the hills looking all over the Glen.

All over sudden I remembered it so much. I could feel the air and smell the moss, heather and trees. That's done it. I know now what to do and where to go.

I put in my notice, gave up the flat and got on the train. When I looked out I saw the countryside passing by. I felt better already.

My parents moved abroad because of my father's job. I then moved from Glasgow up to the Highlands, where my Grandfather lives. I had a secretarial job with the Laird of the estate. Then London was begging with its High life and bright lights. Forget it now Janet, I told myself.

Grandfather was waiting at the little station when the train pulled in. "Janet, it is so good to see you. It's been too long," he shouted the moment he saw me. He then drove down the winding road leading towards his cottage.

"That air you only can get it up her in Scotland," I mumbled to myself and took another deep breath. "You'll never know how good it is to be back. I forgotten what's it really like."

Then, when the road lead up on a little hill Grandfather pulled over and stopped the car. The scenery was breathtaking. There was the Loch in all its glory. The water was glittering in the sunshine. The hills, covered with trees, surrounded the Loch. It all looked so beautiful as if nature was making a special effort to welcome me back. The birds were flying in and out of the forest and singing. Kestrels were circling overhead looking for a good meal. I started to wonder if it wasn't for the best, what happened to me in London. I took another deep breath of the crystal clear air and realized where I belong. I turned my head and saw Grandfather watching me.

"Aye lass, now you know. I am glad you found out before it was too late," he said nodding. "Let's go home. We can have a good long walk along the Loch tomorrow."

He drove slowly down the hill towards the cottage and stopped by the front door. My Grandfather was the Gamekeeper and the cottage was rent free. I opened the door and stepped into the big room. Nothing had changed. My Grandfather's bed set into the alcove. Opposite was the big, open fireplace, with a pot hanging over the fire. Two chairs, one either side of the fireplace, and a woollen rag in front of it. A table and chairs near the window. It all looked so homely and cosy. You smelled the lovely stew simmering in the pot.

"I aired your room and bedding and lit a fire. The stew is ready when you are," said Grandfather.

"You bet I am. I starved all the way and looked forward to your cooking. I could smell the stew the moment I came in."

"So, you came back for my food. That's nice. I thought you longed to see me. I am glad I get appreciated for something," he said and laughed.

"You still haven't changed. Still teasing me. I quickly put the bags in the bedroom and came rushing back. I filled my plate and relished every bit of it. "Grandfather you'll never know what a difference."

"And I don't want to know either. These hills never see me go further than the railway station and then only when I have to. No. This is my world and I don't want to know any other." He spoke very slowly to show that he meant every word of it.

Next day we went out all day for a long walk along the Loch. Sometimes we talked but mostly we walked in silence and listened to nature. At midday we stopped and sat down at the edge.of the Loch. I watched the ripples of the water along the edge and the little fishes in the clear, blue water. Listened to the lapping of the water onto the edge. Grandfather took his fishing rod out and caught some fish. I started the fire, as I always did. Our lunch were fishes cooked over the open fire, home-made bread and water from the nearby spring. I forgot what spring-water tasted. After we walked back, Grandfather, hang some fishes into the chimney to be smoked. With the rest of it he made a lovely fish soup with herbs.

Already my heart felt half healed after just one day in the Glen. Peter, in London, didn't matter half as much anymore .

"Tomorrow, I have to go up the hills over there to check out everything is all right. I'll leave at 5 o'clock to be there at sunrise. What are you going to do?"

"If it weren't my second day back and you weren't going so early, I would have come. I think I'll have a lazy day. Getting up late, have my breakfast, tidy up and sit outside the cottage. In the afternoon, I'll go for a walk and come and meet you."

"Sounds all right to me."

Next morning, when I woke up, the sun was shining. I had my breakfast of porridge, smoked kippers and toast. After clearing and cleaning I sat outside. I am still overcome by the beautiful surrounding. After a while I went inside to start the stew. When that was done I put on my walking shoes and went outside again.

"Who are you? Not another one of those strays?"

"Don't you recognize me, Andrew? I am Janet."

"Good God, have you changed. How are you? When did you come back?"

"Slow down. I can't answer so quickly. Yes, I am all right and came back the day before yesterday. How are you? How is your family?"

"My parents are all right. I have finished University but decided to come home and learn all about how to run the estate. My two younger brothers aren't interested, thank goodness, otherwise I would have a civil war on my hand. I wasn't impressed with university or any career like that. I did my best to pass all the subjects. Now I just want to learn how to run the estate. That's why I am here. Is you Grandfather here? I would like to have a word with him. He knows so much and can teach me such a lot."

"I am afraid you're out of luck. He is gone early in the morning over there to check it all out."

"What are you doing now?"

"I am finishing my coffee. Than I go round the Loch to meet him. Would you like some coffee?"

"Yes, please and may I walk with you? I could talk to Mr Stewart on the way back but only if you don't mind. Other than that I'll come back some other time."

"No, no, I don't mind and I am sure my Grandfather will only be too please to see you."

We talked and walked towards the forest when we saw Grandfather coming out. He was pleased to see us.

"Hello, Mr Stewart, nice to see you. I was hoping to see you, so you could tell me all about forestry. I want to learn everything to enable me to take over the estate," said Andrew.

"Hello, Andrew. Your parents must be pleased to have you back home. Now it'll be trouble again having both of you here. One or the other is all right but both, oh no." We all burst out laughing.

"Now, Mr Stewart, I think we won't do all that again. I think we are a wee bit too old for all that."

On the way Grandfather told Andrew as much as he could.

"Thank you, Mr Stewart. Would you mind if I come with you?" 

"Of course, not. Tomorrow I'll row down the Loch to have a look all round here. I know you have Hamish there but you still got to keep an eye open all the time. Anyway, tomorrow at 6 o'clock I'll start out."

"I'll make sure I'll be here. Thank you and a good night."

"Would you like to come in and have a wee bite with us? It is only a simple affair but you are most welcome."

"Thank you for asking but my parents are having some friends over and I am expected to be there for dinner. It's the McDonalds and their sons and daughters are coming. So I have to be there. If the invitation is still open tomorrow night, I'll be glad to accept it."

I thought about Andrew. He grew up into a tall, handsome looking young man. He most properly marries one of the McDonald's daughters.  It would be only right being the future laird of the estate.

'What about Janet?' a voice asked. 'Never mind about Janet.  Janet is happy as she is,' I told myself very strongly.

The next morning I heard Grandfather getting up and had his breakfast. Grandfather never likes somebody around so early in the morning. Since Andrew went with him, I decided to have another lazy day. I also noticed that I didn't have the stamina and strength I used to have. After my breakfast I cleaned up, browned the meat, cleaned the vegetables, put everything in the pot with some stock and hanged the pot over the fire. It'll be ready by the time we all come home. I packed a bag with sandwiches and set out for a walk.

The sun was shining and reflected on the water of the Loch. I walked round the other side of the Loch. After a while, I sat down and ate my sandwiches. Watching the water lapping gently onto the edge. Breathed the crystal clear air and enjoyed the peaceful scenery of the Glen. I picked up a handful of soil, looked at it, and swore that I never will live anywhere else again.

When I got home the stew was ready and soon saw the boat coming down the Loch. Andrews came running up the path. I couldn't believe my eyes. He carried a baby deer in his arms.

"Quickly, get some old rages closed to the fire and warm some milk. It is in a very bad shape. We found it lying in the grass. God only knows how long it has been lying there. It is so weak. Hopefully, with a lot of care we get it through. It will be hard work," said Andrew.

"Janet, just give it a little at the time and often. You know how it has to be done. This is not the first one. I've got a towel and I'll rub it gently. I am sure it will be all right," said Grandfather with a look full of love and care.

"Right, that's all done. We can have our meal now. Will you stay, Andrew?" asked Janet.

"Yes, I will and thank you for a wee bite. We will have to go back tomorrow and look for the mother. We have tried today but couldn't take too long because of the little one. We had to bring it back as quickly as possible."

"I hope, we don't have a poacher again. I don't mind them catching a rabbit or two but a deer that is definitely not on. Especially if it is a mother and at this time of the year you know and see they are mothers," added Grandfather looking furiously.

"I'll better be going now or it'll be dark before I reach home. I would like to come tomorrow with you, if you don't mind. Thanks for the meal, it was really tasty. I think I'll send our cook down here and get Janet over there."

"Now, now Andrew, coming with me is one thing and I don't mind any time, but the bit about the cook I definitely put my foot down," said Grandfather laughingly and shook his head.

I was up all night nursing the little deer but the effort and loving care was worth it. By the morning it lifted its head and tried to stand up. After a few days I could take it outside when the sun was shining warmly. We still kept it inside at night in case there were foxes or dogs roaming around.

Grandfather and Andrew went the next morning and found blood and no deer.

"I knew I got a poacher again. Now we really got our work cut out. It might have been just that once but we must make sure. We have to watch all the time. We got to change our routine. in case the poacher knows it. We got to have more men and they got to go two together, in case they get attacked," explained Grandfather to Andrew.

"Have you got anyone from the locals in mind?"

"Aye, there might be one or two but before I say....."

Andrew was notching Mr Stewart and pointed towards the edge of the forest on the other side. Grandfather put the binocular there. It was Mr Johnson walking and looking into the forest bending half way down.

"I know he takes a few rabbits and I let him because he has nine bairns. I hope, he didn't take the deer. I will speak to him and I know when he promise he'll never do it again, if he did do it. It won't help if we report him and he gets locked up because of his big family. I hope you'll agree, Andrew," said Grandfather.

"No, I don't mind. I'll do one better. I'll have a word with my father, not telling him about that, but try to get the older children a job. Surely, there must be somewhere some work for them and that would bring in some pennies to ease the burden."

Grandfather spoke to Mr Johnson and found out that it wasn't him. For two months they kept a watch round the clock but never saw anybody taking a deer. They never found out who had done it but were glad it never happened again.

The little deer grew bigger and soon started to roam around the forest. Grandfather saw it now and again. When it saw Grandfather the deer looked at him for a long while and then ran off. Grandfather was so glad that he and Janet could save the little deer's life. It was able to return to the life and surrounding it should have.

After three months I was offered the secretarial job I had before. Maggie, who took over from me expected her third child and it was too much for her. Her husband was promoted to take charge of all the farm workers.

Janet settled back into her old routine and Andrew took over more and more the estate. The McDonalds came over for dinners and Andrew's family went over to their estate. Everybody accepted and expected that Andrew would marry the eldest daughter.

Janet, although her heart ached, told herself that is just how it will be and she had to settle for what she got, a good job, Grandfather and their home.

'Janet admit it, you are in love with him,' said that voice.

'You keep quiet, just keep quiet,' I nearly shouted, 'we are just good friends. Besides he is marrying one of the McDonald's daughter and I am just fine as I am.'

'Janet, you can't kit yourself. You love him,' said that voice again.

At lunch time I went out into the garden as alwats when the weather was fine. Looked across to the rolling hills surrounding the Loch. I took a deep breath of the air. I walked down to the Loch and looked at the crystal clear, blue water. I bent down and picked up some soil.

"Yes, that is all I ever wanted," I said aloud to myself.

"So do I," said Andrew softly.

I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Where did you come from? I never heard you," I said.

"I was watching you all the time and if you'll marry me I made the right choice," Andrew seriously.

"Wait a minute, you are going to marry Ann McDonald," said I.

"It is my younger brother who's marring Ellie McDonald. That is why they came over and we went there. Anne McDonald is marrying Robert Stewart. I am marrying Janet, if she will have me," said Andrew.

"Oh, Andrew, I think I was in love with you since I was a little girl."