What goes on in a person’s mind the moment they hear that their other half is gone? Some scream out in sheer agony, as if their very soul has been ripped out of them. It’s as if the bones within their body has been torn out through their very flesh. Some may stay quiet, still as a stone, almost in a catatonic state. Unable to react, unable to speak, unable to cry. Still, all of us who has ever lost our husbands, wives, lovers, fiancés, it’s all the same. Half of our whole was taken from us, and taken to soon and abrupt for our very minds and hearts to even comprehend such matters. Leaving us alone in the world, helpless and hurt.

I am all too familiar with this sort of loss being that many years ago I lost my great love. The one whom I was absolutely sure I would live with, grow old with and spend the rest of my life with. He spent the rest of his life with me, but sadly I cannot say the same for myself. He died a horrible and tragic way and it left me broken, and hallow with a shattered heart and a listless mind.

One never truly gets over a tragedy so great as this. It is comparable to the loss of a child or family member in its intensity. The one you gave your heart to, the one who shared your dreams ripped from you suddenly and without reason gone from you, forever as it would seem.

I wanted to write this today because my dear friend whom I have written about before, Jaqueline Stone “AN UNDISCOVERED ARTIST” experienced tragedy this week with the untimely passing of her fiancé. What is so tragic about this news is that he was fighting Bronchitis for a few weeks and because of not having insurance when he went to two different ER’s yesterday they didn’t check him out because they said he was not covered by health insurance. He went home without being treated and died at home. Hearing her on the other side of the phone crying to me about this sadness she said something that I will never forget….. “Instead of them quoting prices and refusing to check him they should have treated him and I don’t care what the bill was, I would have paid monthly payments for the rest of my life, if that meant he would have lived!”

All too often this goes on in the world. Insurance companies and Hospitals don’t care whether you live or die. And that is the truth. It seems in this world everything centers around money! I had a similar experience this week at the ER with my son. They would not test him for swine flu because he didn’t have all the symptoms. Thankfully he did recover, but my mother and I are still fighting a terrible virus and secondary infections that became sinusitis and bronchitis….so quickly my scenario could change for the worse as well and just as I discovered at the Dr on Friday they don’t care. I have been convinced I have pneumonia but the Dr would not order a chest X-ray. I seemed to get worse Friday and Saturday and thank GOD the Dr ordered antibiotics for what he said is a “sinus infection” I am slowly getting better. But can you imagine if he had not gave me a prescription at all where I would be right now? Probably on a ventilator right now, or worse! The Hospitals need to start actually listening to their patients instead of disregarding their worries and concerns. They need to treat us, whether we have insurance or not (anyways isn’t that against the law?) and they need to help us. Isn’t that what the Hippocratic oath was for? The doctors are supposed to do their utmost to preserve life, not turn the sick away to let them die at home!

And now my poor friend has to go through what I went through just 7 years ago. The sadness, the pain, the loneliness that NO ONE around me could even fathom what I was feeling…..but wait! I can fathom what she is feeling….I know what she is going through. It is the most painful thing in the world and when you have children and must ‘act’ strong for them it can become an even harder task to perform.

Now seeing my friend going through what I have been through I can only see what a long and sad road she has ahead of her before she reaches where I am at mentally today. She has been through a lot in her life and I know she is a very strong lady, but how much heartache can we take?  I feel so badly to see another person going through the same things I went through and wish I could take the pain away. I know that by just being there for her and offering my shoulder for her to cry on may be the only way I can help her. I just hope I can help her, its hard on me seeing her this way……. I just want to help her.

Pachuca213 (copyright) 2009

Hippocratic Oath or Hypocritic Oath??? For reals

The Hippocratic Oath-

I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:

I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.

I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.

I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.

I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.

I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.

ARE DOCTORS REALLY TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY?????