Sometimes its a matter of motivation. Sometimes its desperation. After having wonderful friendships with guys that couldn't see me as more than a friend, I decided to lose weight. And I did. I went from a size 18 20 to a size 14. And am I glad I was able to do it.

I have a thyroid problem, and my emotional eating wasn't helping either. So when I decided to change my eating habits as well as up my exercise, I felt a lot better about myself. I know I am pretty. But sometimes I get upset easy and don't feel as good as I know I could. Also, I am a little afraid of guys being too foreward like in High School.

But I knew I didn't want to get diabetes and I wanted to look better so I ignored my doubts and fears and did it anyway. I started eating beans and rice a lot made into a soup that I like so much. It is low fat, good for protein and I make sure I get lots of veggies in it too. Sometimes I add meat to it too for some extra flavor. Usually I use chicken broth and lots of spices. It really helped me lose a lot of weight.

I work out regularly now and harder than I ever did before. I use the elliptical trainer for about 25 minutes and then do weights. I really want to flatten my stomache some more so I use a stability ball now too to do more ab exercises. So far so good, I lost 55 lbs and counting and I'd like to lose another dress size. So another twelve pounds would be good.

THis is the smallest I've been in a long time. And I have more energy and am doing better at work because I feel better. I feel great that I am wearing a size 14 because I am five foot eight and don't want to be too small. I was really thin in high school at five foot eight and wearing a size 8 and it hurt to sit down. So I just didn't have much motivation to lose weight except for the fear of diabetes and being tired and cranky all the time.

I think the best motivation is wanting to prevent disease because you never know if someone will fall in love with you or not. I was good friends with a guy. Until I told him I had feelings for him and now that I lost weight, the friendship is sort of defunct. I really care about him, but now he doesn't even email me and it hurts. But I'm not going to eat because of it. I've eaten too many times because I felt bad and now I don't like to eat for that reason.

It makes me feel worse now. I'd rather go to the gym and work out because it makes me feel better and look better. And now that I'm eating enough protein, my emotions are better controlled.

I don't really know what took me so long except fear of the unknown. I had gotten grabbed at a lot and it hurt my feelings and I didn't want to let it stop me from being happy. I don't know why some guys are so thoughtless and uncaring. But I definitely don't want to go through twenty boyfriends now that I'm thinner.

So dating is going to be tricky because I know I tend to eat emotionally and its usually a bad idea. But if I can meet someone who really cares about me, I'll be really happy. I was almost thirty and overweight and I never thought I could do it because I had a low thyroid. But now I feel a lot better and have been able to pursue my dreams and found a new hobby that doesn't make me fat. Playing the clarinet makes me really happy and I enjoy it a lot. I don't know if I'll ever be able to perform, but it really makes me feel good to play.

So I suggest you make it a top priority to lose weight if you need to and you eat emotionally. Because it never really helps. It just makes things worse than they already are.