“I’ve been in-love so many times, ‘though I knew the score”…

So goes the song of Tom Jones, one of my favorite vocalists in the early 70’s. And yes! I, myself had been in love so many times, with so many girls in so many occasions. I considered myself a prototype of a flirty lover boy who used to change heart as frequent as I changed my clothes. But that was long ago, long before the first internet was invented or shortly after I got my first sexual experiment with a tramp as old as my 40-year old mom. I had such weaponry of good verbal communications; the so-called enticing eyes that add up to my good looks, and caress that had been the hub of every lady’s interest. .That’s why, I had several intimate relationships with different women, be it pretty or ugly, smart or dumb, and so forth and so on. But the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life was when I decided to marry a 16-year old lass who was an archetype of a lady in the boxing arena who punched back in unorthodox fashion, always knocking myself out of the discussion. Comparing to my way of thinking, we were indeed a pole apart. She loved to indulge in a never-ending chitchat even with people whom she just first met, talking like an amplifier as if she were alone in the mountain, couldn’t dress and make up properly, and most of all, she had never agreed to any of my ideas….err… aside from marrying her. Never dare suggest “I will build a house for us and for our kids”, she would likely to respond, “No it’s no use; it may only be burned down later”. Perhaps, it’s only in the Philippines that you can find an example of two lovers like us, who, while still engaged and soon to be married, used to break up daily because of disagreement, mostly in the late afternoon and came up to a truce later in the morning?.. …my God!! But no big deal! This is what I called “love”. After all, “love is blind and lovers cannot see it”. (Ne Nye nenye Nye!!!)

Our marital relationship went on and on like war between Iran and Iraq until we were blessed with five beautiful children. They all physically look alike with their mother no doubt about that - anyway I look like Jim Carrey, no regrets!! My biological parents implied that my wife’s blood could be thicker than mine, hence, the maternal similarity.

I am a good father and a good provider. As a matter of fact, I was able to build a fully-furnished comfortable house as a result of my well-paid job in the embassy. I was also able to send my children in classy schools and two of them have already graduated in college. But being a good provider didn’t seem to be an accomplishment in my case. My wife got more apprehensive about my suspected “business affairs”. When I was home, I could no longer go for a lengthy chat with my neighbors. She was an archetype of a snipping dog who could trace my stink wherever I go. She would tick me off, and then cow me back home.

But perhaps she could be right in the first place, because the more I got fed up with her peculiarities, the more I got involved with a pretty woman, so loving, so alluring, and sexually dynamic. In fact she was so devastatingly sexy on bed that I used to perform the greatest performance of my life, as if I were repeatedly sipping savory mushroom soup at the wee hour of the night - followed by early morning snack

The internet which is considered the present state-of-the-art technology had done a lot in the commencement of our connubial intimacy. I came across with this lady when I was fooling around with the internet minutes after I tossed down a cup of coffee from the Starbox Café’ near the AranetaCenter. From then on, the website had been the prime intermediary for us to know each other better; where such chat in the internet subsequently developed into an intimate friendship and later on to a clandestine love affair. Both the internet and the cellphone we normally used became the silent witnesses of our numerous sexual contacts wherein both of us enjoyed the thrills of adolescent’s delight. I abandoned my family and lived in concubinage with this woman whom I thought could give complete happiness to me.

But that was two years ago. We both parted ways as I got sick and could no longer sustain her beauty stuff as well as her daily whims. The only regret I had was that I momentarily forgot myself and the wasted times I spent unconsciously breaking the future of my family in exchange of my own selfishness.

Last month I was all alone in my miserable rented room in Manila when my wife showed up to lend her helping hand and brought me to the hospital for treatment. Two weeks before my recovery we talked about the past rather intently and seriously. I asked for forgiveness about the things I’ve done, and so did she and we both forgave each other. We went back to the fold of rectitude and henceforth lived contentedly with our children. My wife is still chatty and talks loudly as if she were alone in the mountain. But that doesn’t matter anymore. Deep in my heart, I now realize that my love for her during our younger days has not been changed by the test of time; only it got misplaced but I am able to get it back now. It leaves a lesson to me. I understand now that love is not really blind, it is only cross-eyed that can still be rectified.