Let me not into the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love that alters when alteration finds, nor bends with the remover to remove, Oh no! Love is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken.

William Shakespeare Sonnet 116

Words so beautiful to express the meaning of love have scarce been written. However what does Shakespeare mean? "Let me not into the marriage of true minds" ? Huh? Then all the rest of that mumbo jumbo about love not being love that "alters when alteration finds or bends with the remover to remove"? They're even harder to understand the world in which these words were written, and the depth of faith in which this society still lived and believed.

Our entire existence from the word go "It is not good for Man to be alone; I will make him a helper to be with him." Gen 2:18, has been a lesson in love. I believe that the deepest truest love is exemplified through marriage and in the togetherness of spirit that comes from true and committed love. We have become so bogged down in the world that many, within and without the body of Christ, make the commitment of marriage far too lightly. Being and remaining married is a long hard road. Sometimes it will be a steep climb in knee deep mud and at others it will be a coast down an easy hill.

I was married when I was twenty. It seems so young to me now. I wasn't even legally allowed to drink when I was married to my highschool sweet heart. From the beginning people around us expected us to fail. Our youth, and our culture of divorce and "starter" spouses did not sway in our favor. The rate of divorce in this nation is startling:

"About 50% of first marriages for men under age 45 may end in
divorce, and between 44 and 52% of women's first marriages
may end in divorce for these age groups. The likelihood of a divorceis lowest for men and women age 60, for whom 36 % of men and 32 percent of women may divorce from their first marriage by the end of their lives. A similar statistical exercise was performed in 1975 using marital history data from the Current Population Survey (CPS). Projections based on those data implied that about one-third of married persons who were 25 to 35 years old in 1975 would end their first marriage in divorce."

www.divorcereform.org/rates

Assuming, all things being equal and that everyone who gets married were as in love and my husband and I when we married, what is it that we have that others do not?

Will power?

Nope.

Determination?

Not that either.

Faith?

Ding, ding, ding!

When Shakespeare states "Let me not into the marriage of true minds admit impediments" he's saying that when two become one flesh, in the truest sense of the word that there is nothing that stands between them. There is nothing that should, stop, hinder or impede communication. Husbands and wives should move together like hands and feet, necessary, but individual limbs from of the same body. The word of God states that "the two of them shall be like one person, so they are not two people anymore, but one person. Man must not separate what God has joined." (Mark 10: 8-9 World Wide English).

Oh my goodness is that hard or what? Tyring to work together to solve common problems between men and women is like trying to ask a daisy and a dandelion to stop competing for water and sun light. One's a flower the other's a weed, just try convincing them of that.

I am not saying all marriages are heaven sent, most marriages are not made for the same or the right reasons and in my opinion there are reasons other than Biblical to leave a marriage.

1. If he hits you or she hits you the deal's off.

2. Drug and alcohol abuse can not be tolerated.

3. Physical, verbal and sexual abuse. This if for you and for your children. If he calls you outside of your name, other than a term of endearment, it's time to hit the road, and if he abuses your body or rapes you, get out.

4. Infidelity. Marriage is a bond of trust, love and respect. Adultery breaks all of those rules. 

5. Your Values are fundamentally different. - If he's an atheist and you're a believer and she ridicules your beliefs and is jealous of the time you spend with the Lord, it may be time to "yolk yourself not to an unbeliever."  

These definitely apply to the "is not love" portion.

Here are some reasons that are not good enough to leave your marriage

1. He/She is jealous - Unless he/she is unreasonable thinking you're out sleeping with half the town and getting crazy about it, let them be jealous.

2. He/She doesn't fit in your social or economic sphere. - You knew that before you were married, deal with it if she says the wrong thing at your cousin's fourth wedding or he doesn't like the ballet.  You married your spouse.

3. You like different things- Develop tastes together.

4. The sex isn't good - talk it through and try new things.

5.  You decide after a while that you just don't like each other - Get over it, you don't always have to like her, you just have to love her through it.

This is a small list, and I'm sure it will grow, but love is a risk and a gamble, but the ride is worth it.