Love At First Sight: Does it Really Happen?

According to my husband Alex, yes it does. He swears he saw me marching down the street in an Earth Day parade, accompanied by some drummers and a humongous papier mache turtle (don't ask), and he just "knew."

Or maybe it was at the street fair after the parade, when his best friend, my boyfriend at the time, introduced us. I can't say. I don't even remember meeting Alex that day, a fact he never lets me forget!

Either way, he says he took one look at me and he just "knew."

Now, I've been known to fall in lust at first sight (haven't we all?), and I've been known to fall into "serious like" at first sight, but love? Real love? Nope, not me.

Is it really possible?

According to the people who've fallen in love with their lifemate at first meeting, yes. Maybe it was a pheremone thing, maybe it was a case of being ready for the right person to fall into their lives, but they took one look, knew they were in love, and that was that. Maybe they met this person at an activity that meant a great deal to them, i.e. church, or a dog training class, or backstage at a community theater rehearsal, or a dance. And maybe they already knew that having a life partner who shared this particular interest was very important, and just let the magic happen.

The funny thing is, the people who say they fell in love at first sight seem to be more willing to do the work to keep that love, to keep that relationship working. The relationships that come from this momentous meeting seem to beat the odds on break-ups and divorce, according to my informal research (polling my friends). Fate? Maybe. Fortitude? More likely.

I think the biggest mistake a lot of people make about the "love at first sight" idea is that they're convinced this is what must happen to ensure lasting romance, not what can happen if you're lucky. As a result, they deny themselves a great deal of happiness, maybe even lasting happiness, because in their quest for that magical first moment, they ignore the staying power and deep love found in a long-term friendship, and the potential that friendship of many years has to blossom into the love they're so desperately wanting to hit them like a lightning bolt.

I'm speaking from experience, here. Alex and I were friends for about nine and a half years after the jolt of love at first sight turned his world upside down. I didn't see it happen to him, I didn't share the feeling (heck, I don't even remember meeting him!), but I was desperately looking for it to happen in my own life when, somehow, I finally got smart.

And ten years to the day after Alex fell in love at first sight with me, he asked me to marry him. I said yes.

Now I believe in the power of love at first sight, too.

Even thought it's never happened to me :)