We all need to know how important and special we are and your child is no different. Lunch box love notes are a great way to let your child know that s/he is the greatest gift in your life.

What is a lunch box love note?

A lunch box love note is a simple easy way to show your child that you care about him/her. It is a lasting impression that is positive, documented, and builds self-esteem.

Benefits

There are many benefits to writing Lunch box love notes to your child. Lunch box love notes:

• builds communication
• strengthens bonds
• teaches character
• provides positive affirmations
• lets your child know that s/he is special
• lets your child know that s/he is important
• if your child is feeling lonely it lets your child know s/he is not alone
• praise and appreciating are documented
• you set an example
• difficult days at school can be eased by that connection with a parent
• notes on good days help on days that are challenging

Why is documentation important?

The power of written words is strong. Praise, affirmations and just the words "I love you" in notes hold a lot of esteem. Do you keep notes and cards that hold those special words that make you feel loved, cherished, and better about yourself? I do! Children love to see notes written on their papers in school that say they have done a good job. They love feedback to know they are succedding. You are one of your child's best and most important cheerleaders. Having notes that document your love and appreciation will always be cherished in that moment and forever in your child's memories.

How to

I believe any activity should be easy to do. Love notes in lunch boxes should be manageable and easy. If it is too difficult then there will be no success for you or your child. There are many books that can give you ideas. There are many places that you can get inexpensive fun things to make it easy. The dollar store has stickers and note pads in different cut out shapes. You can use colored paper. Even plain paper is fine. You can set yourself up ahead of time to make things easier. Fold 8 1/2 by 11 paper into eight rectangles then put your child's favorite stickers on each rectangle and you are set for eight days. Just write a positive note on each one and sign your name. You can also draw a picture on the paper instead of using a sticker-- happy face, heart, kitty face, dog face, stick figures of dad & child, mom & child... you get the idea. You could also use a photo of the pet, child with mom/dad/grandparent or other special person. Please use a photo that can be replaced. This is not the time to use a photo that you want your child to be responsible for and will cause distress if something happens to it. Index cards (plain or colored) can be used. Remember! What is most important are your words! Adding stickers, pictures, photos are just away to make is extra special and fun.

What is age-appropriate?

For very young children (preschool to Kindergarten)

Love notes are for young children, too. This is when you can use simple messages, pictures, and photographs to express how special your child is to you. Writing "I (then a drawing of a heart) U" or "(draw an eye) (draw a heart) U" is a good first step. You can show your child this message at home and go over it to let your child know what it says. Then put it in the lunch box so when s/he is at daycare or school s/he will know what it says. As your child develops greater skill with reading the words I, Love, You, Mom, Dad these words can be used. Love notes will help in reading words because your child will want to know what the notes say. It is okay to use the same message day after day when your child is young. Just use different pictures on the note to keep them novel.

Elementary Children

Your children can read better and this is when you need to pay close attention to what your child likes so the notes reflect this. Younger elementary children will still like pictures and stickers on notes. Older elementary children are going to be finicky. Age-appropriate is what you are going for so as not to create a situation where your child will be teased. It is better to go for just the note rather than have your child be set-up. However, if you know your child well and know what is "in" then go for it.

Middle School and High School

Children in middle school and high school still like notes. Many children do not take their lunch to school. However, putting a note in their bookbag is a good way to continue letting your child know how much you love and appreciate them. Age-appropriate presentation is most important here.

Examples of what to write

Lunch box love notes do not have to be long. Simple and easy as well as expressing your genuine love is the way to do it. Here are some examples to get you started:

• You are special.
• I love you.
• I'm glad you are my child.
• You are important to me.
• I love the way you smile.
• You are the sunshine in my life.
• I am very proud of you.
• You are a wonderful kid.
• Thank you for helping me clean up after supper. I can always count on you.
• You have the best manners. Thank you for being such a gentleman.
• I look forward to seeing you after school.
• I can't wait for you to come home so we can have snack together.
• You studied very hard last night. I am proud of you.
• You are smart and pretty/handsome. I am the luckiest mom/dad on this earth.

What NOT to write

• Stay away from anything that would cause your child to be embarrassed such as cute nicknames, very personal information, something you want to talk to your child about later in the day, anything that you don't want shared with others because someone else may see that note. Your child's self-esteen is important and the love notes are supposed to build confidence and esteem and not be a vehicle for another child to use against your child. This is most important for upper elementary and upper grades.
• Grades can define your child to the point of causing anxiety or tearing your child down. Rather than offering praise for receiving a high grade and putting the focus there, turn this around and let your child know that you are proud of your child for doing well. If your child studied and did not do well on a test, then you can say something to the effect "I know you are dissappointed because you studied hard. I am still proud of you." "You worked hard and you still shine in my eyes." "Sometimes it doesn't work out like we expect. You are still my smart boy/girl. Make yourself a great day." It is important that you let your child know that no matter what grade your child gets, you support him/her. This way your child will always have self-confidence and will not feel like a failure.

Special days

Birthdays and holidays are fun times that you can make lunch box days a little extra special. Again dollar stores are easy places to make this inexpensive. Special napkins that could be used for that month or even a few weeks can add a little special touch. Cut out notes and/or stickers in a holiday theme can be used as well. Again let yourself be creative. Add a joke from a child's joke book. Put in a knock-knock joke. However, do not get too elaborate. No color sheets or anything that will take your child away from eating lunch. The time allotted for lunch is not very long.

School is hard

School time is difficult for all children. If you think back to your early years, and be honest, there were days that were more difficult than others. For some of you school was not a time that you enjoyed at all. It was stressful in more ways than one. For others it was okay. And for some it was actually fun. Popularity had its good points and its bad. Homework was a pain. Tests and pop quizes were stressful. Spelling tests were awful except for the Spelling Bee champs. A+ grades brought smiles and papers with terrible grades were convenently lost. Things can go wrong in school such as:

• disappointments
• a class is too hard (math, reading, writing...)
• your child was embarrassed (said something wrong, tripped...)
• "everything" went wrong
• your child felt dumb
• someone was mean
• a friend was mean
• a friend decided not to be best friends anymore
• your child felt left-out
• feeling discouraged
• being tired of school
• your child's feelings being hurt

Mondays are difficult days for children going to school. For your child there may be other days during the week that prove to be difficult as well. By observing your child you may figure out that there are other days during the week that are particularly difficult or there is a pattern. However, there may not be any pattern at all.

Acting out Children

There are some children that act out. There are reasons for acting out behavior and I'm not going to go into that here. However, I will say this. It is easy to look at all the wrong things a child does. My advice is to look hard, and I mean really hard, for the good things your child does. Praise these things. In your love notes, tell your child that you love him/her. Tell your child that s/he is special and that you are glad you have him/her. This may be difficult for your child to hear at first. If your child acts out, s/he may have a lot of negative interactions at school. It will take many positive things said before your child will feel and believe self-worth. Stay with it. Don't give up. There will be a change in your child over time. A child who feels self-worth acts differently.

Building a trusting and secure relationship

Fortifying your child during the school week and combating the challenges of school that face your child by using lunch box love notes is a way to help build a strong foundation against the trials of life. It also offers a way to build a trusting and secure relationship. When your child feels secure in knowing that s/he can come to you and talk to you about the things that are going wrong, as well as the things that are going right in school, then you have a pathway in the right direction. Your child will feel loved for who she or he is. Your child is a winner like all children are winners.

Your child and You

You are a winner. Your precious gift, your child, will grow up to be strong, will have great character, will have a strong self-esteem, and know that she or he is well-loved. And remember, it is never too late to start lunch box notes. No matter if you start writing lunch box notes at the first day of day care or when your child is in elementary school, you are giving your child affirmations that will be embedded for life.