"It's just another manic Monday." This is true. But no, no, you would never wish it was Sunday. Not if you live in Los Angeles and you have been wondering where the magic times of Axl Rose hanging out with Slash at the Rainbow Bar and Grill on the Sunset Strip have gone. Not if you are bored by all these stupid teen bands, American Idol-disasters and so-called "alternative rockers" and have been missing the true explosion of a dangerous, star-shining, visceral Rock' N' Roll band capable of setting a stage on fire. Not if any time you're stuck in traffic on the 10 freeway and the radio blesses you with some Hotter Than Hell Kiss singing "you'll drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy," you turn your eyes up to the Hollywood sign and wish upon those giant letters to find a place where you can go and actually "rock' n' roll all night," up there in those hills of fame. Not if, in the eighties, you were a little Italian girl watching your rebel, messy, older cousin's Skid Row's videos while dreaming of growing up fast and finally being surrounded by guys who look all same stunning way as lead singer Sebastian Bach.

I was, then and there. Now and here, instead, I'm just a L.A girl in another manic Monday. But no, no, I would never wish it was Sunday. Never ever. Tonight Metal Skool are going to play at the Key Club on Sunset, like they have been doing every sold out Monday night for the last eight years. And this is enough to make of Monday my fun day.

Right at midnight, these twisted Cinderellas will jump on stage and turn themselves into the Kings of the Hollywood nights. Because, it's not only about being excellent musicians and extraordinary performers here: these guys are also the most brilliant and the funniest entertainers around. Their self-deprecating jokes are all about Wanna-Be-Big-Rock-Stars clichés. They are the "Skool" where you can learn the right attitude to adopt when your only mission is to bring Metal back, when your destructive appetite is all for green grass to Paradise City and pretty, devoted girls backstage, and when your deepest desire is for a multimillionaire contract with a major label.

They are also smart enough to not forget that, nowhere like here in the City of Angels, people are in desperate need of any kind of attention. So, here they go: the hottest chicks of the front row become protagonists of the show any time the sinuous, blonde, charismatic lead singer invites them to jump on stage and get wild on the notes of Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer," Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me" or Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again." And he does the same with the many V.I.P. guests who don't mind to stay in line out of the Key Club to hit the hottest show in town-I couldn't know where to start from if I decide to mention all the A-list movie stars, rock stars, sport stars, TV hosts and whoever famous-else I saw joining Metal Skool on that stage, sometimes for a killer exhibition of their musical skills, sometimes just to hum the tunes of Motley Crue's "Home Sweet Home," sometimes to let the guys make fun of them with some of their "dirty" jokes and many, many other times, instead, just to show all the most unexpected, disparate and desperate sides of their own personality.

The fun never ends at the Skool of Metal and you can get a better idea of it by checking out their hilarious youtube videos, their "sick" original songs and the several comments their fans leave at their brand new webpage, www.myspace.com/steelpantherkicksass. I know, this name doesn't sound familiar; it's because, due to some legal controversies, recently they had to change their name. After the bestial fight that led them to break up with their management, they have probably left the battlefield with the conviction that Steel Panther is the right name to reflect their new status in the showbiz.

It seems like we're moving from a "skool" to a zoo here so, let's take a closer look into each of these stage animals' cages, starting from lead singer Michael Starr's ("double r for double rocking, dude!").

Michael is the alter ego of Ralph Saenz, whose smile is "the quintessence of warmth," as a fan wrote on myspace. However this smile is, it must come in part from his wild, far days as the singer of the first incarnation of L.A. Guns, from his journey with the Atomic Punks and from his jam sessions at A.A. meetings. Whatever kind of jungle he comes from, for sure he's been playing the part of the lion and he does so still.

Our guitar hero Satchel is the colorful side of Russ Parrish, also member of the Thornbirds. With Steel Panther, his guitar shredding, his cynical mind, his down to earth nature and his sharp, fast comic skills often make Russ the real leader of the band.

Darren Leader is the man who hides behind his long hair, harsh, tattooed stage persona: drummer Stix Zadinia. Despite his surname, he hides from the main lights, but he doesn't hide when it comes to banging his drums-not at all. Once you go there and get rocked inside out by any rhythm he chooses to shake your body with, you'll agree with me.

I'm also trying to gain better knowledge of Lexxi Foxxx, the sexxxiest, foxiest and goofiest bass player ever. And, I guess I'm trying to achieve a very detailed knowledge, since I've decided that tonight, after the show, I'll go and say "hi" to the crazy mind he comes from. It's Travis Haley's. He can't show off the same bubbly, never-ending head of hair of his Lexxi but, if it's true that the truth lies in the eyes, Lexxi and Travis must share something peculiarly beautiful I want to share as well.

So, at least on this regard, from those Bangles girls' "Manic Monday," I can save something that fits also in my Monday night: "it takes me so long just to figure out what I'm gonna wear." Sure. Whoever Travis is, I am not gonna look any less than how his incomparably gorgeous Lexxi looks on stage. This might be impossible but, at least, I am trying to look as the most captivating chick of all the girls who probably gravitate around him.

It's always the same old story: wherever the hottest Rockstars are, so are the hottest girls. And, Metal Skool (oops, I meant Steel Panther!) are no exception. We might specify here that they are "only" a 80's cover band and that they "only" play the part of the rockstars but, at the end of the show, this makes no difference, because they do it very, very well, sometimes even better than the "real" rockstars who wrote and performed these songs "not so long ago." Steel Panther are "here" and "now" and they bring back the irresistible allure of those times gone by in their very own, creative and original way.

This is why, "in the hottest of the Hollywood nights, in those Hollywood hills," I'm getting ready and looking "so right in my diamonds and frills," just like Bob Seger is suggesting to my face reflected in my bedroom's mirror. He is a Stranger in Town just like me, after all, and I'd better listen to him if I wanna get what I want. And, you know what a groupie wants, right?

If you do not, come and look at Steel Panther and you will. There's no escape for you, whoever you are-whoever you believe to be. You are not immune. Steel Panther are an addiction, and once you're in, there's no way out, Babe. It will just be another manic Monday in the jungle, for you too. And no, no, you will never wish it was Sunday.