There is a proverb in one culture that says 'seeing me is not the same as sleeping with me'. This word of wisdom is a reminder of a movie called Boomerang, whereby Eddie Murphy caught stage fright while being in bed with Grace Jones. You see, it took a bit of adjustment for the two to make it as roommates even for a night, and the protagonist lacked the experience right there and then. Similarly, many friends believe that they should take their relationship to a whole different level by becoming roommates, simply because they get along well when they live apart. However, if you are not prepared to end your friendship with your buddy, it's best to let sleeping dogs lie by themselves. It is one of those tricky situations encountered in life where others learned from their mistakes and willingly give their free advice. Like, for example, never lend money to your family members. Never mix business with pleasure. Never tell all your secrets to a lover, and the list goes on. After some bitter experiences, many people will tell you that they would prefer to lend money to their worst enemies, rather than to their families or best friends. And you might find that disgusting when you consider the close bond that you share with your loved ones. However, have you ever seen two people desperately in love, but just can't make it together? Well' that's a perfect example of how to view sharing house or apartment with your 'homie', to use the most modern parlance.

If you follow your heart to room with your best friend, be advised that it's a giant step you are taking, regardless of how much you think you know your companion. Sharing space is not as easy as one may believe, because there's always more to even life itself than what meets the eyes. Andy had been living on his own for some time before he allowed Tray to move in out of the kindness of his heart. It had been over a year that the twenty-six-year-old hospital worker had signed the lease, but had settled for being by himself, except when Marie, his pregnant girlfriend, stopped over to spend a short time. The original arrangement was that Tray, being down on his luck, would help to pay the bills while he was there, occupying one of two bedrooms that came with the living quarters. That meant he didn't have to worry about paying rent, as long as he was trying his best to get on his feet to move out as quickly as possible.

It had been just over two weeks into this arrangement when one afternoon, Andy returned from work to find Tray and Petal making a pair as they sat watching television in the living room. It was evident that the couple had made themselves at home, as snack plates and cups were sitting on the carpeted floor. However, the extent to which the accommodation of a woman that wasn't Marie would become more than just a visit, never crossed Andy's mind. He really was disturbed that instead of coming home to a clean kitchen, he had to get busy scouring the sink before making himself something to eat. And of course, he thought that that was going to be his greatest inconvenience of the evening, not to mention the future. But he'd better be prepared for the shocker. It was seven o'clock, and Petal was still in the house. You know one of those days when, after work, all you want to do is to de-stress with no audience or interference? Well, that was the kind of mood that Andy was in that evening. Fast forward to ten o'clock and Tray and company couldn't call it a day. But check this out! It was after twelve when Tray and Petal left the living-room, and what a relief! Poor Andy, who wanted to remain comely by not insulting anybody, thought that his discomfort had come to an overdue end. But it was just the beginning when Tray and his partner went in the room that Andy paid for with his hard-earned cash, and closed the door behind them. It looked like Petal had booked her night and Andy's ranch was indeed the host. Keep in mind that the next day was going to be a regular part of the work-week, and Andy could have done with some proper rest. But who cared?

Tray and Petal began to do their thing and the headboard in the room took all the beating. The two were having sex like they were going out of their minds, forgetting that Andy ever existed. It went like that for well over two hours. Then, apparently the active couple got hungry and headed for the kitchen. They ate what they saw without thinking that the provider might have needed some for breakfast that morning. Petal slept in the house and Tray never had the common decency to even come to some kind of agreement with his host. Andy left for work, and for the whole day, it was like he relived the overnight's nightmare. However, he thought that that must have been a one-time thing, or even if it were going to happen again, it would have been few and far between. That was wishful thinking!

When Andy got home that evening, the house was in silence, and he thought that nobody was there. Good! But he shouldn't have got too excited yet! The couple was really inside taking a nap, and Andy was about to discover that the kitchen was again left in a mess. He did what he had to do and went for an early retirement, considering that the night before, there was a humbug. He still didn't want to say anything to Tray, since both of them had come a long way with their friendship, and he was hoping that it was just a phase. After all, for the ten years they had been at it, he had never seen that side of him. And now, Tray seemed to have moved in his girlfriend without any warning. One night turned into weeks, then months, and the bills? Well, at first, Tray gave a helping hand until one month he was late with the payment, and Andy thought it was an oversight.

"What about the bills?" asked Andy, and rightly so, since a week had already passed the due date.

"I thought you did it already," replied Tray.

When Andy recounted the case to Marie, she was most upset, and shouldn't have been so, since her time to deliver was exceedingly close.

"I need to find out which one of us you are screwing!" she demanded. "The things I see you endure, I'm sure you would not have tolerated if they were coming from me," she said.

Hence, bad blood was boiling between Andy and his missus as a result of his friend and his hanky-panky. It was time to get serious with Tray, who found it offensive that Andy would have even thought of accommodating him without knowing that he came as a package. It took a bulldozer to get rid of the ill-mannered man and when he finally did, it was the end of their friendship as well. There was love lost in hindsight, since Andy thought they would have still been friends, if only they had kept things like they had done in the beginning.

With that kind of experience, Andy believed that he found the knack to credit himself in qualifying for any university, Yale and Harvard included, to do a degree in 'making it with your roommate' as a major. With that kind of mindset, he thought he was capable of putting together a few rules of thumb, when thinking about sharing facilities like the case of a house.

Rule number one, think of your best friend like a family member who thinks it's your responsibility to recover his life from any mess that he mustered for himself. Hence, in the same fashion that you might have learned your lesson that many families take each other for granted, consider your best friend in the same light. If you want to help, give rather than lend, that way nobody can defy your expectations. Refer rather than reaching out, if at all, you can possibly help it. That way, nobody can say, you sat there to watch them drown.

Rule number two, if you think you must ignore rule number one above, do everything in writing. That way, when the worst comes, you might be able to recover some things from the ruins. If you are rooming with your best friend who would have otherwise been homeless, do so incrementally. It's okay for him to feel that he's being put on a short leash, so that he doesn't get the idea that he is working with infinity. It's good if he could feel welcome and keep his sanity, but more often, that's far from the case. It's like feeding a watchdog too much and he gets so relaxed with you that he forgets his duty. Similarly, if you provide too much comfort for your friend, he might miss his deadline that he needs to work with in trying to get back on his feet. Therefore at the onset, give him a day, and depending on his attitude and behavior, you can shift the goal post conditionally. Life is full of mysteries and we just have to find ways to get around them. For instance, it's like dealing with the telephone. If a friend who talks a lot should call at the wrong time, you might want to tell him straight up that you have five minutes to spare in order to manage the time of the conversation. You don't want to shut him up since you have to work with what people have as their character flaws. Sometimes when you are strict to mark like this, friends get flustered with you. But before you try to help a drowning man, remember this: he's always clutching at straws. And it takes skills that you might not have to save yourself from being pulled under water. Yet, it works out better if someone is angry with you for not being a fool, rather than you being angry with him for being taken for one.