A family needs a budget. Both parties should sit down with each other and go over the normal household expenses to determine what they are and decide how to pay them. Utilities, for example, are pretty consistent. Some utility companies offer some form of averaging so you pay the same amount each month. That way you don’t have low bills part of the year and outrageous ones during the other.

Bundling things might also be a good idea but each couple needs to look at their own situation. Couples also need to discuss purchasing any major item – getting a new car or appliance for example. Springing that kind of expense on the other party could result in real problems.

Regardless of where the income originates, both parties need to have money of their own. Both should have separate bank accounts in addition to setting up a “joint” account to handle expenses which affect both parties. It’s important to have a kind of a “yours, mine and ours” set up. This is easiest if both work.

Many employers have “check to bank” programs or some sort of allotment system so some money from your paycheck may be put in a separate account. Some financial institutions have programs set up to handle money any way you want. For example, they automatically move a certain amount of money from an incoming check to different accounts each month. You can also do the same thing on the Internet with most financial institutions.

Money needed to pay normal household expenses: utilities, cable television, and other things could be put into an account and “creditors,” for want of a better word, could bill that account each month. Mortgage payments, house, life or accident insurance; anything which is a set monthly expense and affects both parties could also be included. You can easily budget for these things. You also have to budget for the unexpected.

Since my military retirement, social security and other income are greater than my wife’s, I pay all household expenses. My wife also draws social security and has her own bank account. She spends her money as she wants and doesn’t spend “my” money. I consider most of “my” money “our” money. We help each other out as needed.

That works out very well for us. Compromising on money matters and other things has helped us stay together for more than 40 years – longer than many of my readers have been alive.

Ideally, both parties have income and neither makes much more than the other. Radically different incomes can generate problems but I’m not suggesting either should quit or change their jobs.

Work is often available, but, if you can’t find an outside job, you might consider starting some sort of home-based business, even if it’s selling AVON products or something similar. Working hard can result in many rewards, not all of them strictly financial. There are many possibilities and I won’t discuss them here. I may write another HUB about them.

Jumping on my other soapbox, I will say that starting your own business is quite a step and both parties need to agree on what that business might be and how it is to be accomplished. Read my HUBs: http://hubpages.com/hub/Business-Startup-Suggestions, http://hubpages.com/hub/Business-Startup-Suggestions and http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-pay-for-a-college-education .

How a business, children and the marriage are handled are very important.

Education is a factor, an important one, but with the many advantages available today: the Internet just one example, not getting an education is often a case of laziness or fear of failure -- which pretty well stopped me from getting more than an Associates. I had the opportunity while in the military and in the ten years following my retirement because of my GI bill, but I simply didn’t do it.

I regret it now but it’s always easier to look back on failure than it is to do something about it at the time. Now I try to live by Yoda’s axiom:

“Do or do not... there is no try.”

I also never tried to get a commission in the military and one of the things I tell my grandchildren is simply this: “Gold or silver on your shoulder is worth a lot more at retirement than stripes on your arm.”

I retired as a senior master sergeant, a rank achieved by only one percent of all enlisted Air Force personnel. Had I gotten a college education and retired with gold or silver on my shoulder, my retirement pay would be a lot better.

Military service might be a very good idea for young married couples. Health care is very expensive these days, as is housing. Travelling is also expensive. If you’re in the military, you’re guaranteed a wage, housing, medical care for yourself and your family and you probably will get to travel.

I served for 23 years and had the opportunity to take my family with me to Guam, Germany, Alaska and could have taken them to many other places had I been assigned there.

I believe the Air Force and Navy treat their families better than the other services but that is strictly a matter of opinion. All services are important. When I was stationed in Thailand during the Vietnam era, we were told that we could let the bad guys have every inch of the base, but “Hold on to the runway so the Army and Marines can get in to save your ====. “

You know, that may sound funny, but they weren’t kidding.

I was lucky. Though I was stationed within sight of Laos and the Ho Chi Minh Trail (the story was that when the B-52’s bombed the trail, the base shook), no one ever shot at me. Other bases, even those in Thailand, were hit but we were not. We had AC-119 and helicopter gunships, and A1E Sky Raiders as well as one definite advantage most of the other bases in that area did not have – there were no villages bordering our base.

The rule was simple. If it were night and something moved off base, you shot it and looked to see what you hit the next day. All the people in the surrounding area, including the bad guys, knew that and they kept clear (at least while I was stationed there). I’ve a story of what happened one night when they DIDN’T keep clear which I’ll tell if anyone wants to read it. I had moved to another base or returned back to the land of the big BX by that time.

I just realized how long this was getting. I’m on page 4 according to Microsoft Word, so I’ll stop with just a few more words. I tend to get on soapboxes and bore people to tears. My wife sometimes tells me I’m better than any sleeping pill.

Good luck and Irish Blessings Upon You and Yours.