Yesterday for (seemingly) no apparent reason....... I could have cried.

I didn't

But I could have...

In fact, as I was trying to evaluate my state of mind (aka sanity) I tried to locate valid reasons to prompt the tears... and it was utterly unexplainable. However, the more I analyzed my state of affairs, the tearier my eyes became and less able to swallow the lump in my throat. (even describing it now, brings that stinging to my eyes) And so.... I believe I have not managed my time properly and so have not managed my stress.

In fact, I think I need to schedule some stress relieving activity on the days that my ex-husband takes the kids and work towards reducing the stress in my life, where I can.

Because (in my not so professional opinion) it is the stress that is doing me in. Thankfully, my life is not rife with huge stresses and melodrama (well, no more than can be conjured by three lively daughters) but it is the constant push and pull of responsibility that acts like the ocean wearing away at a wooden log. AND since I am wood, not some prefabricated material impervious to the constant battering ... something has to give.

Keeping with my wood analogy, I can see how some might just snap under the pressure... thankfully (thus far) I am simply... wearing away.

AND SO... Enter the plan

Reduce Stress

The key to reducing stress is to locate stressful things that you can actually control.

Paying bills is HUGE... but guess what... if you are doing the best you can, then put that stress bomb aside and address other areas that you control but are not.

In my case: scheduling and appointments

Yesterday I purchased a 14 month calendar, which in essence covers the school year plus some extra. It's small enough to fit in my purse, but big enough for me to write several appointments in each day.

Although this manual calendar is NOT what I would have liked (being a geek and envying anyone with a Crackberry's and/or those who can afford them) it will remove the burden/stress of always keeping appointments in my head. (I missed 2 birthday parties this summer and was late for another)

Now that Music lessons, swim lessons, school holidays, school 1/2 days and misc Dr.'s appointments commence, I have reduced that particular stress by getting organized.

Clean the House:

Ok, for you clean freaks this is a non-issue... for me... the anti-clean freak it's a big stress inducer. I'm sure I could find some statistics, but instead I will just ask you to... metaphorically close your eyes:

Imagine a room filled with the clutter of three lively children. Couch pillows on the floor, dolls, strewn about, completed puzzles -- 1/2 completed puzzles on the hardwood floor, and empty water bottles on the coffee table with the big box of wholegrain goldfish.

Now

Imagine the same room, with not a toy in sight, the coffee table cleared of debris, the couch cushions tucked neatly into place and the pillows propped decoratively at the ends. The faint hint of lemon pledge wafts through the room, the floor recently vacuumed and hardwood gleaming from the mop.

Which scene promotes calmness... and which scene create the feeling of havoc?

And so... as much as I would put off straightening up, in order to reduce my stress ... I am in fact, going to muster the gumption to get it all cleaned up and tidy. Thus creating an air of calmness and tidiness in my house.

And Finally.... Exercise.

Each week my ex-husband takes the kids either Saturday or Sunday. In the past, I have used these days to do the grocery shopping and other errands without the company of my three young children.

Today... (you can mark my words) I vow to put aside an hour for exercise. I'm not much of a walker, I'm not going to the gym (although with my recent YMCA membership, that's not a bad idea) In fact, I am going to borrow a bicycle. I LOVE bicycle rides. Nice leisurely little jaunts. I will be working towards acquiring a bicycle forthwith (it's a good day, when you can use forthwith in a sentence... )

Well, friends that is my plan.

As it turns out I will be home today with the kids, instead of at work, because we are circulating a stomach virus. The virus has now commenced it's torture of my 7 year old, who is a professional puker and has had her own puke bucket since the age of three. (this is much better then the last two days where my 4 year old battled her angry stomach refusing to give in... but instead laid around moaning)

I will be taking care of completing the update of my handheld calendar, and cleaning the house and will put out my feelers for a used bicycle.

I bid you adieu

(I already feel better just having a plan)