There is married and there is living together and basically, in my personal opinion, it is time spent together dedicated to one person and that is the only thing that matters. To begin this I will say that I met my man and after three months we moved in together. We spent four years together and then got married. We then were married four years and then had our two children. The story ends with after over twenty-seven years, two children a few pets and a lifetime of memories......it ended in divorce! AKA...the party is over!

This has so many repercussions that compared to my childhood are nothing but in our world today are everything and none of it is good in anyone's book.

It does not matter how hard you try to be fair, or tell the children or ex that we will be fair and kind and not get caught up in the nonsense that we see and hear every day, it still happens before you know it.

For example, it started out with my son and daughter living with me in our house and dad was set up in his own apartment or town home. Dad still has friends in the hood that he comes to visit, one being the girl next door. I know, I know.........the first thought in everyone's mind but according to him, they are just friends. Well, there is dad next door, several times a week and sometimes most all weekend long except for going home at the end of the evening, regardless of his capacity of driving but at least he went home. Point being, he does not come next door to say hello to his children. Now yes, they are teenagers but lets face it, that is their dad and why would he not come to say hello? So now mom has to step in with some words of understanding or at least an attempt at it because I do not believe on trashing him because I can. Never the less, this is and will continue to affect the children and it does not need to be this way. With little effort between mom and dad, this can be handled with communication but I must say it requires both parties concern and interest to make it work.

Then there is the money issue which seems to be never ending. I myself am a fair person and would not take advantage of a mans money due to the breakup of a marriage.  I get half of what he makes and yes I do spend more because of the children but lets face it, the man has to have a life to. He has bills to pay and deserves some fun and entertainment. Let's face it, usually the relationship did not get to this point all by itself. It takes two and I am sure in my case this is true so I have no desire to punish him or take advantage of him. I do wish that he valued this for whats it's worth because he does not or at least does not express it, but then that is another issue between men and women.