Effective communicating requires practice and a great deal of effort. Without communication, it is nearly impossible to resolve conflicts or grow your partnership. Here are some useful tips for effective marriage communication.

1. Work at it. Good marriage communication does not happen by itself.
2. Remember, in an argument, no one wins. If you don't leave a discussion with a possible solution to the problem, then neither party has been successful.
3. As compromise is an essential tool to solving problems through communication, make sure you have thought of ways that you can help solve it by mutual compromise.
4. Be a "reflective" listener and make sure you understand what your partner has said. Spend more time listening than talking. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry
5. Be honest, direct and focus on the real issue while truly honoring, trusting, and respecting your spouse.
6. Understanding each other better and recognizing and accepting each others' point of view will be the starting point of an ideal marriage.
7. Never belittle your spouse both in his presence and absence. Nobody is going to respect your spouse if you don't.
8. Under no circumstances, let any name-calling come out of your mouth. Too many marriages have been destroyed that way. Avoid using foul or abusive language and let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
9. Cultivate a deep intimacy. Get to know his/her thoughts, feelings, desires, dreams, and share them. Then, grow your dreams together.
10. When problems come up, never raise your voice. It's a sign of disrespect. Voice your objection another way. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.
11. Spend more time listening than talking. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry
12. Always try to use "I" statements when you have a serious problem with something your spouse may be doing. Never accuse or blame your spouse. Using "I" statements is a non-abrasive way of marriage communication.
13. Act upon your words because communication is more than just words. As a matter of fact, communication is all about tone, gestures, and body language. Make sure your words and your body language match.

For more help on marriage communication, please have a look at Marriage Communication.