I always hear many say it is hard to find a good man anymore, the good ones are either dead or married. Well, my opinion, I really don't believe in that myth. My husband and I first met when we were just kids,We were friends, not the best of friends at first. We did not look at each other as boyfriend or girlfriend, we were not interested in each other in that way or did we look at each other as a couple. We were just friends who hung out once in awhile, respected one another, supported and comfort each other as friends do. Being as young as were when we met we had our own separate friends,our own things, we were total the opposite from each other. His family were catholics, my family however were Mennonites, he attended the public schools and I attended Mennonites schools. I enjoyed hanging out skating with my friends, he enjoyed hanging out with his friends doing boy's stuff, playing football, into cars, what not. My friends and I did what girls would like to do girlish stuff, having tea parties, and girls things. Today our society, our young generation dates early, to early my opinion. Young-ins start dating at the age of twelve years old, my husband and I have sit our children down and together as a family we discussed the proper age we would allow them to date, we agreed when they reached seventeen they be more mature and responsible which they were, our decision was made for their own well being. We always answered their questions honest and straight forward. Did they rebel our authority and our rules, yes, they have, at least one out of four. My husband and I started dating at the age of fifteen, he was seventeen, our dates though were all supervised by an older adult or with a group so we really did not feel it was dating. Before we married we dated for many years and had no personal contact with each other until we were married. Kept our-self pure until marriage.

The woman is the weaker vessel in some relationships, not saying all of them. My opinion and from my own experience being married for thirty years to my first love and only love. The first few years were rocky, we had our differences but making up was the best part. Forgiving each other. Tried when we did have disagreement not to bring up others faults or past or try to put flameon the fire. If disagreements could not be resolved, one of us would walk away, take a breathe, later in the day we calmly sit down and discuss our differences, I listen to his concerns, he listen to mine. We try to meet half away. Really believe that a marriage should be 50/50. The first years of marriage was not the greatest, he had his stubborn ways, he was bull headed but so was I and I also had my stubbornness. If you really want make a marriage work, you have to work at every day, but don't try to fix it if it does not need to be fix. Over the years I have learned not to be a nagging wife, men surely hates that, having someone over their shoulders telling them constantly what to do what not to do. God has joined you both together, be thankful for one another, be thankful and except one an-other's differences. Learn to grow togther, similar as a seed blossoms into a beautiful flower or plant. A marriage is a seed, it need water, sunshine, nutrients and love to grow. 

How to understand a man?

1. You need to trust him, let him know he is loved. Show him respect, don't be afraid to show him affectionate either. A man has needs, companionship and intimacy with their partner, showing his love and having someone to love him unconditionally.

2. Give him his space as well you have your space. Take you marriage vowels seriously, to sickness and health, death do you apart.

3. Never be angry at the same time, never yell or speak over his voice in a loud tone, unless it is an emergency.

4. If one of you have to feel like they need to win then let it be the other.

5. If you feel you have to criticized, criticized in a warm, loving and compassion way.

6. Never neglect each other but neglect the whole world around you.

7 Never go to bed mad at each other, communicate, work out your difference, respect each other differences.

8. Let the past behind, never bring it into the marriage or relationship with you. Let bygones be bygones. Build up your relationship by excepting each other faults, each other differences, each other mistakes. Love each other unconditionally.

9. Pray with one another, Let God be your guide. To many relationships are being destroyed or wrecked and fallen apart because fall into temptations so never neglect each other. Set a time, a day, and a place to spend quality time together, it be your day just together, just the two of you. Do something maybe you did together when you were dating and enjoyed doing together before you came a couple..

10. Make an effort to keep the spark for each other lit, on fire. At least try to say one kind of complimentary thing to your partner or do something spontaneously.

11. If you done something wrong and you know it is your fault be the first to admit it, the first to apologize. If you feel you can not come to an conclusion or compromised, it come to the point it turns into an argument, walk away, give each other time out to cool down, if you don't you may say something you will regret or be hurtful.

12. It takes two to make a relationship to work, two to communicate, two to argue, scream at each other but usual when the person that speaks the most is the one in the wrong.

Light my own experience being married to the same man for thirty years, I have learned my husband likes to hear it from me once awhile that he is doing a good job, he is a good man, a good father. He likes to hear me giving him a compliment when he does something right, asks my opinion maybe on a project he may be working on or a question one of our children may have come to him for a opinion. We both ask each other for advise and when it comes to make a decision we sit down and talk about it, discuss it, in and outs. Sometimes we have our own different decisions on topics but at the end we work together as a team, that is really what a relationship is. you both need to work together, agree together as a team just as you would at your work. I try to make my husband feel important, involve him in all decisions that I need to make. For example: we lived in our home we bought together for twenty some years, the house we owned was getting to big for us, our children were all grown, living on their own and raising their own families so we no longer had use to a 6 bedroom home with 2 1/2 bathrooms, walk-in closet, we were getting up in age so we sit down together discussed about moving into a smaller home and go back to renting and biggest decision we had to discuss was moving into another state. We had a discussion about this for months, prayed and prayed about it. We decided if it was God's Will, he would provide all our needs to make this big move in our life's. Finally, one day we came to an agreement, felt it was God's Will because God has provided us all the financially to move and a home. Together we did all the work moving, packing, my husband drove the sixteen hour drive to our destination. When we arrived at our destination together we worked as a team and did all the unpacking. The first home we rented was a nightmare but together we made it through, found another home to rent so within one month we made another move. We worked together and got things done. God blessed us the strength to do this and kept us safe, made our marriage stronger. When express how much we love each other, we say it this way, I am in love with you, before we lay our heads down for the night, before either one of us fall asleep, we say our prayers, we tell each other we are in love with each other.

A healthy relationship is all about working together as a team, admitting if we are wrong, saying I am sorry, trusting one another, praying with one another, being a team player,respecting one another, respecting each other differences, and faults, and different decisions. Don't ever think he has to think your way or it is no way, it don't work that way in a relationship. Let no man come asunder what God put together. Except each other as you are, don't try to change the man. If a man needs your opinion he'll ask, don't feel neglected if he don't ask for your opinion, sometimes he may go to his friend or ask another man. Don't every be a nagging partner, I have learned that, trust me. If he's wrong, give him time and space to think of his mistake, eventually he'll admit his wrong. Man are like children, some men did not grow up yet.

Believe me being married to my husband for thirty years, some things I have noticed that makes him upset is when I try to change him, try to think his decisions are always wrong and have him think he should think like I do because I am a woman, his wife. Wrong it don't work that way either. He is a human being with human dignity. He has the right to make his own decisions, right to make his own mistakes, have his own faults. We are not perfect wife's or girlfriends, what makes us think any differences that he should be perfect.

Trust, faith, praying, attending church together, respect,understanding, in love, time, acceptance,support,encouragement, compliments, working together as a team, be firm but gentle, give his own space if he wants it, intimacy. Keys in understanding a man. I tell my husband I thank God for him, I am blessed to have such a wonderful christian man who is not only my husband but is my best friend, my protector, my strength. Man likes to hear this. It takes two to tangle but also two to forgive.