If you ask me how I know about these pranks, I won’t tell. My lips are sealed. Have I ever done any of these? Sorry, but I zipped my lips, locked ‘em, and threw away the key on this one. I suggest these mean practical jokes as something fun to read. In no way do I actually suggest that you try them. I will leak a little information: I know some do work, others don’t, and some I’m not sure about, but I’ve heard a rumor.

I don’t suggest you try them out for yourself, but it is a free world.

Did someone royally piss you off and you want revenge? Go out and buy an expensive bottle of deep conditioner from a department store. Make sure the bottle’s instructions tell the user to leave conditioner in hair for at least five minutes. Pour out half of the conditioner (don’t toss it, save it for your own use). Fill up the rest of the bottle with Nair, or some other kind of hair removal cream. Now, send it to your friend with a lovely card—you can make it anonymous, from someone else, or as a “with compliments” gift from the department store.

Visine in food or drinks:

Want to make someone have a bit of diarrhea, but don’t want to actually go through the trouble of slipping them a laxative? Just add some drops of Visine to your intended victim’s food or drink. They won’t taste a thing, but sure will get to study the bathroom wall when they get the runs.

Prostitute Prank Call:

Get out your local phone book. Look through the residential places and pick your victim. You will want to choose a name (like Dan Smith), and then call the number. When someone answers, announce that you are calling from Cookie's Call Girls, and you need to speak to Mr. Smith about his outstanding balance. If you are lucky, you will get the wife on the phone. Don’t be afraid to argue, insisting you do have the correct phone number and the right Dan Smith.

Spread a Rumor:

This might sound a bit immature…but, honestly, don’t all of these? The key to a good rumor is to base it off some sort of fact. For example, if a woman is seen late at night with a certain guy, it is easy to spread the rumor that she hooked up with that guy. If you tell the right people, the ones who will tell everyone they know, the rumor will take off. A well placed rumor can grow and spread like wildfire.

Please be aware that no small children or animals were harmed in the creation of this hub. As far as I know, the hair loss any of my friends and enemies has been 100% natural. I don’t buy ham—I’m a vegetarian, and would never waste cheese. As for prank phone calls…well, have you ever heard of caller ID? I also haven’t bought a bottle of Visine in years. Nobody’s reputation has been ruined with the writing of this hub.