From time to time the media highlights stories about “girl on girl” violence. Most are familiar with the brutal attack upon a cheerleader occurring last year in Florida. The story was widely publicized when the attackers posted video on You Tube. You tube and Video Assault Recently, Stacey Mulick reported on another troubling case out of Washington State:

A teenage girl is recovering and another is jailed after a stabbing Saturday night in Bonney Lake. Bonney Lake police were called to the 5300 block of South Island Drive just before 10:30 p.m. They found a 13-year-old girl with several stab wounds.The girl and several witnesses identified a 15-year-old girl as the one responsible for the injuries, police reported. The victim and her friends had been walking down the street when the suspect came up and confronted the victim, said police spokesman Daron Wolschleger. "It sounds like there somewhat of a squabble between these two girls over a boy," he said. Paramedics took the injured girl to Mary Bridge Children's Hospital and Health Center for treatment. Officers located the suspect, who had fled the scene, and arrested her without incident. Officers booked her into Remann Hall juvenile jail on suspicion of first-degree assault.

The alleged perpetrator of the violence was 15. Washington State Case One wonders what is going on when girls attempt to solve disagreements by resorting to violence. The perpetrator fits the Urban Dictionary definition of a “mean girl.” Mean Girls Definition

Girls who are bullies and use "girl agression" (nasty comments, trickery, deceit, excluding people from events, spreading rumors, stealing boyfriends,etc.) to manipulate other girls. They will use text messaging, AIM, email, three-way-calling, and any other weapon at their disposal to achieve these goals.
(coined by Rosalind Wiseman in her book "Queen Bees and Wannabees")
These girls are often popular because everyone is either afraid of them or wants to be like them. They tend to have armies of followers ("friends"/wannabees) comprising their clique. However, few people actually like them for who they are.

There are several theories as to why there are more media reports about “girl on girl” violence.

A bay area television station ran a story, with video, interviewing Dr. Stephen Hinshaw about his theories. Aggressive Girls Dr. Hinshaw theorizes that there are three causes for aggression in girls which he labels as the “triple impact.” According to Hinshaw, girls are faced with the following three expectations:

1. Being perfect traditional "girls" - nice, kind, pretty girls who did good deeds.

2. Succeeding at traditional "boy" skills - getting top grades, being star athletes, and getting into the most selective colleges.

3. Living in a culture that has lost all of its alternative female role models. even punk rockers and politicians are expected to be models of female perfection, 100% of the time.

These expectations are impossible to fulfil and the inability to fulfil these expectations leads to a variety of destructive behaviors. According to Hinshaw:

….the impossible pressures of the triple bind seem to be directly linked to increases in self-destructive behavior. For aggression against others, however, the effects of the triple bind may be more indirect-- when boys see girls as objects, given the relentless media images of girls as sexualized-- girls are now more likely to fight back; and they have the tools to do so.

Hinshaw describes the manifestation of behaviors caused by something in the “mean girls” background.

Martha Gault looked at the research and made the following observations:

I compare non-violent and violent adolescent girls in three areas of life:

relationships with parents, number of hours spent viewing TV and videos, and self-esteem and depression. Analyses using an ANOVA showed that

1) girls who report a better relationship with their parents also report lower levels of violence,

2) girls whose parents report better relationships with them report lower levels of violence,

3) girls who watch less TV and fewer videos, report less smoking and/or drinking, and have fewer sex partners also report lower levels of violence,

and

4) girls who report higher levels of self-esteem and lower levels of depression also report lower levels of violence….

Gault found that there are significant differences between violent and nonviolent girls. The key finding is that relationships matter to girls. Well Duh. “As mentioned in current literature, female youth differ from male youth in that relationships with family members seem to be more important and influential than peer relationships, though further research on the effects of peers on violent female youth is needed.” Strong family relationships are important to girls. Gault Study

The conclusions that can be drawn from both Hinshaw and Gault are the quality of parenting matters for children. The parent and child relationship is particularly important for adolescent girls in both developing their self-esteem and their psychological development. There are certain skills that good parents have and these skills are tempered by a healthy dose of love. A US News article describes eight blunders made by parents. Good Parents, Bad Results

1. Parents fail at setting limits

2. They're overprotective

3. They nag. Lecture. Repeat. Then yell

4. They praise too much—And badly

5. They punish too harshly

6. They tell their child how to feel

7. They put grades and SATs ahead of creativity

8. They forget to have fun

“Mean girls” are not restricted to a certain race, religion, culture, or social status. One thing mean girls have in common is a family that is not functioning the way a family should. This family is not nurturing its young chicks and teaching them to fly right before they leave the nest.

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©