Meeting His Parents

Your new relationship has been smooth sailing so far and you couldn't be happier. Then, your man brings up the dreaded question you have tried so hard not to think about. He announced brightly that his mum has graciously invited you to a "casual dinner" at home. You know fully well, there's nothing casual about that meal. It's the all-important dinner where first impression could seriously make a mark on your otherwise great relationship.

You may have heard horror tales about meeting a boyfriend's parents for the first time, but it doesn't have to be an ordeal! Below are some sure-fire tips for you to charm the socks off his parents.

RESEARCH

It's a good idea to get some information from your boyfriend about his parents. Nothing too detailed so just ask casually about their occupation, hobbies or any major dislikes. When you know some background details, you are less likely to be stuck with awkward silences or saying things that might offend them when you don't mean to.

HOUSE RULES

This is just so you won't stick out like a sore thumb. Check with your man if there are certain house rules that his parents are straight about. Is answering a call in the midst of a meal frowned upon or if his parents are vegetarians and feel strongly about having meat in their home? Or if you are a vegetarian, it might be best if you make it a note to remind your man to inform his mother. You don't want to be the girl who just sits and plays with her food! The worst is you now stand a chance of offending the mother and let's just say none of us want to end up at the awful position.

PUNCTUALITY

Make a point to be on time! This is to making a good impression. Don't be late as it's disrespectful to make others wait for you. However, as we all know, things can happen either at work or at home so if you know you will be running late, make sure to call and apologise. It's also good manners to mention what time you can be expected.

DRESSING

Though it might sound boring but it's safe to say that the best is to stick with the conservative side - not boring but just decent. So, your hot pants, mini skirts and that low-cut top you get loads of compliments for are not the best ideas for this occasion. You don't have to completely change your style; just bear in mind to dress for the occasion.

BRING A GIFT

It's always polite to bring something along during your first visit and this is where your man's input would be put to good use. But remember not to overdo it or else his family might think you are showing off. Be sincere and simply get something that the family or parents would enjoy.

THE USUAL TOUR OF THE HOUSE

His mum or dad would likely show you around the house or perhaps your man would do the deed. If it's his parents doing the house tour simply follow along and take their cue on feedback needed - if they are not big on conversations you can simply smile and nod along as they tell you about their favourite part of the home. Give compliments when you think it's appropriate but be sincere about it.

WATCH YOUR TABLE MANNERS

Remember not to gobble up your food as if you have skipped lunch (even if you did!) but having say saying that, do eat or else you will end up being the "pretentious girl who doesn't eat". It's polite to compliment his mum's cooking but be sincere. Besides, if you compliment something that you hated, you might end up getting more of it and the joke then will be on you! Don't feel pressured into making conversation. Your best bet is to go with the flow and let your man lead.

AFTER DINNER ETIQUETTE

It's best that you pace yourself during dinner because you don't want to be the first one to be done for dinner with nothing to do! So, observe your host's pace and follow suit. When you are done with dinner is sure to carry your plate to the sink but you should also insist on helping with the cleaning up. However, if the mum insists that the maid will get it then you should graciously accept the offer and thank her for the lovely dinner. Always thank her for the effort after the dinner.

AFTER DINNER BANTER

If you weren't put under the hot seat during dinner, this is the time you might get some questions thrown at you. Normally, you will be invited by his parents to sit a while with them either at the living room or coffee at the veranda. The venue hardly matters because the objective is the same - to get to know you better. So, feel free to ask some questions of your own. Keep it general but remember to be genuinely interested or else they will see through you right away! And remember common manners such as not yawning or looking at your watch during a conversation.

TAKING LEAVE

This one should be your man leading you. It's not polite to overstay - his parents don't expect you to stay till wee hours of the night! So, take your leave when you think it's a decent hour. You can either make plans with your man so you have a polite excuse such as a movie to catch or if it's a work night then blame it on an early workday. But it's understood on both sides that you are leaving simply because it's time so don't stress over this. Politely take your leave and thank them for dinner again and bid them good night.

THE THANK YOU AFTER

This is not common practice so go with your instinct or get your man's input on this. You can send a thank you card accompanied by flowers if his parents have ooze to of trouble for the dinner (fancy China elaborate dishes). If however, it's a simple home cooked dinner, it's best to send some sort of dessert as a return of a kind gesture. Once again, it's not really common practice in Asian culture so go with your instinct on the appropriate gestures