Men In Lingerie: Want To Wear Panties, But Scared To Tell?
89For many men who wear lingerie, the most difficult part of the journey is not making the decision to wear the lingerie, it is letting their partner know about their desires and habits when it comes to lingerie. It's hard enough finding a nice lady to be with in this day and age, without also having to worry about finding one that will be okay with, or preferably enjoy you wearing lingerie.
Many men make the mistake of not telling their girlfriends or wives, thinking that they would be disgusted. However, when you hide this sort of thing from a partner you are actually depriving her of the experience of sharing something that is very special and important to you. Imagine how you might feel if you found out that she had such an intimate secret. You would probably be understanding, but there would no doubt be a little sting at realizing that she had kept something so personal from you.
Relationships are all about trust and intimacy. Many women who discover that their men are into wearing lingerie do so after catching them in the act, or perhaps even finding their man's panty stash and even assuming that he is cheating. They are shocked and surprised, not so much at the lingerie itself, but because they suddenly feel that they don't really know the man they are with. Hiding who you are can be quite damaging to a relationship, and many of the negative reactions that men fear may in fact be brought about by hiding their desires from their partner, instead of introducing them in the proper time, in the proper manner.
So what is the proper time? As a rough guide: Tell her early, but not too early.
You don't have to whisper in her ear and tell her that you are wearing a silk thong and stockings on the first date. That would probably be pretty inappropriate, unless things were going incredibly well. However, waiting months to tell her may be pushing it. A good time to start revealing your inclinations towards lingerie is when you start to become physically intimate. This is the time where she is becoming open to you physically, and emotionally, and this period is most definitely an important one in the formation of a strong relationship. Once you begin to get a sense of comfort with her, and she with you, and trust is beginning to build, that is a good time to let her in on the 'secret'.
You may be surprised at how positive the reaction is, or at least how curious and non judgmental it is. Remember, if she is worth having in your life, she is not going to be cruel regarding your personal tastes and desires, nor is she going to be disgusted by them.
Don't expect her to immediately leap up, start grabbing at her intimates and thrusting them at you to try on however. That may come at a later stage, as many men do share the process of picking out lingerie with their partners. Introduce her to your lingerie slowly. Once you have talked about it, come out wearing a pair of panties perhaps, or a camisole under your clothing. Let her get used to the idea, and feel for that matter. Believe it or not guys, silk and satin feel just as great sliding across a manly body as they do a female one, and many women come to very much enjoy the look and feel of their men in lingerie.
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Oh my.. I'd want to know on the first (and last) date. I could not get down with that. Great hub!
I told my wife when we got married and she was just too happy for me to wear lingerie as she said it was a kind of security for her as she figured that if I droped my pants for some other woman and she saw that I was wearing lingerie like her she would run for her life or kill herself laughing
Interesting. You married a woman who thought a) she needed insurance against you cheating, and b)that ALL women were narrow minded and must like the same things she liked and dislike the same things she disliked.
Check out a few of comments on the other hubs on this topic to see that quite a few women love their men in lingerie.
Of course, it's generally nice if you tell people about these things before they take vows and make what is supposedly a life long commitment to you. I doubt many women, regardless of whether they liked it or not, would want to be blindsided shortly after marriage with things their husband had kept from them up to that point.
I TOLD MY WIFE THAT I LIKE TO WEAR PANTIES AND SHE SAID SHE DID NOT LIKE IT AT ALL. BUT I COULD, DO YOU THINK THAT IF I JUST GIVE IT TIME SHE MAY COME TO LIKE IT
Unfortunately, I would say probably not. 1) You sprang this on her after you were married, which means you hid things from her for a long time, which she has every right to be angry and upset about and 2) If you want her to come to like it, you are going to have to get off your ass and really do something for her as well. Just telling her and expecting her to get used to it isn't fair or realistic.
I am engaged and will be getting married in about 4 months. Even though I've been with the same woman for almost four years now, she had no clue about my panty fetish (if that's what it can be called). I would from time to time grab a pair from her drawer while she has at work and enjoy them for a few minutes; never a whole day or while she was at home. I am also guilty of swiping a random pair here and there from female friends in high school.
About a month ago I switched from boxers to men's bikini briefs. At first she was a little weirded out by them, citing that they were very similar to what she wore, but none-the-less open to the change and willing to get used to it. This last week I came home with three new pairs, this time all three being true women's panties. One pair, which the fiance didn't mind at all, is just a stretchier/softer bikini. The second is an exact same pair (shinier string bikini) that she has. Again, the response here was that it seems a little odd, but she'll get used to it, no worries. The third is of the same material as the second but has lace all the way around at the waist band. This pair was "slightly disturbing" and while her response was to wear at it as I please, she asked that I change out of it before she ever has to see it. They're too feminine and all her societal conceptions say that's gay, even if she knows it's completely not the case - which it very much isn't.
I must say, for an initial reaction it was great. The only problem is that she honestly thinks they're men's underwear, just of some wild new Euro-fashion kick. I'm not sure if I'll be able to eventually say, "Hey babe, they're actually off the women's rack." Maybe one day!
This is another comment from ALF48, edited to be family friendly:
Just a quick update for those who still might be pondering what their girl's reaction might be. My fiance came home from work today and took a shower. When she got out and was getting dressed I suggested she wear a certain pair of panties. Her response was, "Why? So I can match you? I saw when you bent over before. Ok!" Then we talked about some 'activities' for later and even taking some photos! I think she must know (we are wearing the same panties--color and style--, just different size) they're truly womens, though her last comment about them was about the oddity of being able to find such an identical men's version.
Long story short, (see my last post) I am going to respect her preferences and stay away from what does make her uncomfortable. But literally a few days after buying my first pair of panties, she and I are matching and it's all good! There is indeed a happy medium. A panty ___ can be fun, indeed! It just needs to be just that - not something indicative of much deeper desires/issues that could lead "elsewhere"...don't even want to think about that.
okay. so i told my partner that i like wearing lingerie, and she said that it was cute, but when ever i bring it up she doesnt really want to talk about it. i think it makes her uncomfortable. what should i do?
Well can'tthinkofname, the reality is that not every woman is going to be supportive of her man wearing lingerie. If she is uncomfortable with it, you could follow the lead of some of the other men on these comments and perhaps buy panties that are men's style, but in smooth pretty fabrics. See what she says, and try easing the topic in that way. Or you may have to simply wear lingerie in your own time. Relationships take a lot of work, and she may come around to the idea, or she may never really be comfortable with it. All you can really "do" is take things slowly and don't deny yourself the pleasure of wearing lingerie, but don't throw it all in her face at once either.
What hope said is about dead on. You try easing it in, every so often. In fact, you may even find that once she's used it, it's not even a big deal to you anymore. The fact that she's accepted (if she does) takes away a bit of the thrill and "forbidden" nature. I found this part very interesting. If she really doesn't dig it, do your thing, but don't be obnoxious about it. Put on your favorites while she's at work, you're alone, etc. It's true, relationships are all give and take. If it's a relationship truly worth your being it, it'll be ok if all that's at hand is that you like the feel/fit of lingerie from time to time!
Great advice, Alf!
I met my curent gf on a dating site and we talked on line before we met in peerson and i told her i wear lingerie before we met in person she was cool with it and even buys me panties and bras to wear annd now has got me wearing gilrs jeans
Before geting married, my wife already knew that I worn ladies panties. She did not care whose panties I had been wearing but she tried to buy me more so that I would only wear hers.
We had been going to Mall to choose and buying panties together, and very lucky, we are almost the same build, we both wear L size (size 34 - 36), we always share or wear the same design.
My wife totally support me wearing ladies panties. She even told her sister that I'm look extra sexy when putting on panties. For me, I prefer ladies panties which are more comfort and sexy, I do not own any men brief now.
I have been secretly enjoying panties since before I was a teenager. I have been married over 40 years without my wife knowing, believing I would be rejected or worse, should she find out. I told her recently after she discovered a pair of panties, which were not hers, in our laundry. After the initial shock our relationship, which was great, took a new turn, it is now incredible. 40 years ago there was no way of knowing you were not alone.
Go for it, wearing what is pleasing is the way to go, whether occasionaly or 24/7.
Hi Hope I have been wearing panties and other bits of lingerie for as long as I can remember and even when I got married I made it quite clear that I had this drive to wear what I felt comfortable in and my wife of twenty-eight years accepted that.I personally feel that there is too much double standard out there with regard to lingerie,I mean if you go to a lingerie store and look around you will see that they have copied every bit of men's underwear into female underwear but alas nothing that looks anything feminine in the men's department. Why cant we just have unisex underwear that way there can be no discrimination.Keep up the good work love your hubs
working
SatinJenni says:
8 months ago
I believe your advice to be bang on. In all my years of hanging around the cross dresser, transvestite, transsexual, gender dysphoria type boards ...many men have expressed a fear of telling their significant other. In my own case, I always felt privileged because I had informed my wife shortly after we started dating and she still accepted me for who I was. (This was in the days before the Internet. At the time, although I knew some guys were into wearing womens underwear, I had no idea how many of us there actually was). Telling my wife early in our relationship about my fondness for women's lingerie was the best thing I ever did. Twenty five years later we are still going strong. She is now "into it" as much as myself if not more. She buys me gifts of lingerie (unlike many guys, she knows my sizes and preferences when giving me a gift) I sleep wearing ladies sleepwear,(satin chemise's and panties are my favourites) . My lingerie collection has grown to be larger than most women. All I can add is guys...tell her early and usually the outcome is not at all bad.