Hundreds (no, thousands) of books have been written over the years that attempt to help men and women communicate with each other, understand what the other is saying, and interpret the mixed signals we send each other. Some self-help gurus even asserted that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, which essentially means that it's practically impossible for men and women to understand each other's language unless you can read between the lines or learn to speak their 'language'. I think it goes even deeper than that. I think you have to be a mind-reader, especially when it comes to women. (I know, I know...I am turning in my own sex, but I agree with this because many times I want men to "just know" what I really mean even when I am saying something completely the opposite.

Case in point:

In this humorous scene from the popular film Walk Hard - The Dewey Cox Story, the hero, Dewey Cox, tries to figure out his newest backup singer Darlene Madison. Do those sultry looks she is sneaking in his direction mean anything, or is she just too sexy for her shirt and therefore, not responsible for the amorous feelings she sparks in him?

First, Dewey subtly hints at his ardor for her and, while Darlene seems receptive, she chops him off at the knees at every turn. One moment she lifts her head, lips poised for a kiss, and when Dewey responds, she slaps him in the face, saying she is "not that kind of girl", saying she wants to be "just friends". Poised for a kiss again, she slaps Dewey once more when he seeks a kiss, informing him that she can't because "they are friends".

What's a poor guy to do?

In this scene from Annie Hall, Annie calls her on-again off-again lover Alvy Singer to her apartment to kill a spider in her bathroom. Annie has decided that it is best for them to "see other people", so she leaves Alvy and begins dating an intellectual of sorts, yet for some reason calls Alvy to deal with "a spider the size of a Buick".

But does Annie really just need Alvy's mad spider-killing skills?

No. She needs Alvy.

Even though she is involved with a new man, there is something lacking. Something that makes her reach out to the past. Maybe she is not comfortable being herself around her new lover. Maybe she doesn't want him to see her as a baby afraid of a little spider. Or maybe he just isn't the type of guy to get out of bed at 3:00 in the morning and kill a spider like Alvy is.

And she is just afraid to say what she really feels, so she creates the drama of a fiendish ginormous spider ruse just to connect with the one person who made her feel safe and comfortable - Alvy.

As a strong believer in open communication, I always wonder why people don't just say what they feel, especially where love is concerned. Why NOT tell your love the truth about your feelings, instead of trying to turn them into mind-readers or contestants in conclusion-jumping competitions?

We waste so much time not saying how we really feel, hoping that our boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife will somehow magically figure out what we really mean, like when we answer "Not a thing" to the question "What's wrong?". Most men know that when a woman looks miffed and acts miffed, she IS miffed, in spite of her protestations to the contrary. Men and women have been trying to decipher the mixed signals they send each other for centuries, and judging by the proliferation of relationship books, DVDs and websites, they aren't getting any better at it.

So what's the secret?

I think the secret to romantic success is to just be open and honest about your feelings, good or bad. At least then the other person knows where they stand with you and doesn't spend hours, days or even weeks trying to figure out what they did to upset you. Plus it's more authentic — Even if you say something like "God, I REELY hate my mother-in-law" it's better than pretending you love her even though you don't, and secretly wanting to run for the hills whenever she is around. At least this way you can get it all on the table and discuss it and hopefully, mend some of the problems hating your mother-in-law can bring to you, your spouse, or your mother-in-law.

I have always found that the direct approach to most problems is the best one. In this scene from When Harry Met Sally, Harry finally gets tired of waiting around (12 years) for Sally to come around. He loves her and he knows it. He thinks she loves him too, but she is afraid to tell him how she really feels because she has her own issues.

It all hits Harry one night on New Year's Eve, when he realizes just how crazy it is to watch from the sidelines the woman he really loves fall in and out of love with other men.

Why? Because he never told her how he really felt! He was afraid of being rejected, but so was she, so they wasted 12 years of their lives just because they didn't communicate their true feelings.

So Harry got it right — Say what you mean and mean what you say. Pretty simple really :)