No one said life was meant to be easy Well so they say .We are born as babies and we grow from that hopefully learning and growing all the way in a happy and loving environment .But in today's world and in reality that doesn't aways happen life is changing so fast .One minute you are young enjoying life then you have Children of your own and do you ever wonder what kind of world we are bringing up our children in everyday?, Im sure most parents do its only natural then we face the the media on tv, papers, radio etc it always seems to be bad news about a child being abused or worse mudered and then we want to wrap up our children in cotton wool so they never will get hurt but we know we cant really do that .But we have the power to change all that .As humans we are born with a soul and the ability to love and to feel love and give love back and thats so important the power comes from you to make your children safe and free of harm because on the other hand we have the power to hurt each other in so many terrible ways ..

As a survivor of sexual abuse I have come forward now in the hope of speaking out so we can help save many lives because it affects us all .The devastating effects of sexual abuse or any abuse that males have suffered in their lives . We must act now and come forward tell the whole world so every male knows that they are not facing this alone because Im afraid it affects every part of your life .If you let it and don't speak out it, it can have a terrible affect on you and your loved ones .I know that from personal experence its not easy I know its bloody hard but please, please remember you not alone thats the whole point we can all help each other even though I am thousands of miles from you in Australia we still have a voice thanks to the internet and blogs like this one and if everybody helps each other the healing process can begain and can you imagine the world free of child abuse .

When people speak out it helps because it bring awareness to so many issues in the world thats because people dont realize whats really going on or live in their own little dream world . How many times have we seen celebrities speak out on global issues etc and most people notice , How many men have you seen come out and speak of sexual abuse issues not to many I assure you because men dont talk about it thats the problem its the shame and guilt and a whole lot of men issues thats the reason .

So I'm asking that you do speak out like me and we can help each other and let the healing process begain .

Anger Fear Homosexuallty Issues Helplessness Isolation and Alienation Legitimacy Loss Masculinity Issues Negative Childhood Peer Relations Negative Schemas about People Negative Schemas about the Self Problems with Sexuality Self Blame/Guilt Shame/Humiliation

We are lucky now because you can find so many helpful websites and forum that you can join .I have placed links for to have a look at .

look for help in your area don't be afraid to ask for help go with your partner for support ,

Go to the library or buy a book about male sexual survivors their are quite a few out there .

Stages of Growth for Male Survivors

1. I cannot manage my pain alone. I must seek help
2. I acknowledge that something terrible happened. I know it is not my imagination; I was a victim of child sexual assault.
3. I begin to recognize my feelings. There may be sadness, anger, fear, guilt, and shame. I allow myself to experience them all.
4. I discuss the abuse thoroughly with my therapist. I completely re-experience and begin to deal with feelings appropriate for each incident of abuse that I can recall. I share feelings of shame with my survivors group.
5. I begin to realize that I was probably acting appropriately at the time the abuse occurred. (That is, my reactions were appropriate; the abuse was not!)
6. If there was a part of the molestation that was pleasurable to me, I am coming to terms with the fact of that pleasure and I am dealing with the guilt surrounding it.
7. I perceive the connection between my molestation and my current behavioral patterns and relationships. I am beginning to develop some control over that connection.
8. I recognize that I have a choice as to whether or not I confront my perpetrators.
9. I am beginning to understand what I desire from relationships as I learn to trust my perceptions.
10. I am able to enjoy intimacy.
11. I develop a sense of self and my self-esteem has increased.
12. My resistance to talking about the abuse (although not necessarily the details of it) has diminished.
13. I realized that I have a choice as to whether or not I forgive my perpetrators. I have forgiven myself.
14. I am in touch with past the anger, that detached from yet so that it is not a constant part of my feelings and a negative influence on my other feelings, my functioning, and my relationships with others. I no longer live in the past. I'm living the present and welcome the future with all its fears to, imperfections, and unpredictabilities.