-- Menopause Symptoms include mood swings, irritability, depression and listlessness which we obviously found ourselves constantly having those symptoms when dealing our daily life with this not-so-good economy in current America

My husband and I have accused each other having Menopause for the past year. We found each other being extremely critical and easy to freak out then ever. We argued for something no big deals and we picked on each other's attitudes toward something that one thinks its no big deal to others. In fact, I have to admit that I am a critical person. Since writing full-time for several Chinese newspapers for more than 5 years, being critical has become part of my life. I thought my husband has already known and loves the way I am. Therefore, it is surprised to learn that the way I'm now become the sign of having Menopause. 

I have also aware of that my husband's temper has significantly changed ever since he quit smoking Camel and switched to hand roll tobacco for economical reason. I know he always gets cranky when he lacks of Nicotine. And I've heard that Camel happened to be very strong cigarette so I guess it is not easy for a heavy smoker switching his cigarette to anything lighter. It would be no fair to make a direct link of his crankiness with Male Menopause; however, since this "Menopause thing" was originally starting from my husband's mouth, I have to assume that he might have possibly suffered the real Male Menopause symptoms without actually knowing it. Just like you see some people get drunk so badly and they would still deny being drunk at that moment.

The nonsense began when we found each other over picking on something while watching TV. I don't watch much TV daily but I like to talk while watching. Sometimes just feel like to and my opinions used to be very entertaining to my husband. I picked on TV reporter's make-up, hair style and dresses. I corrected typos that I found from the subtitles of Chinese TV Drama, so does actor or actress mispronounced any Chinese character. When I watched live news report I pitied one who suffered from tragic and pain. Moreover, instead of throwing a shoe onto our TV screen, I talked sh*t (when kids were not around) and made fun of our government leader who talked something dumb or made another stupid decision or announcement again.

"You are so so critical." My husband one day said to me with a kind of supercilious look. "Everything came out of your mouth are mostly negative. Can you find something positive to talk about?" What? Positive? During this not-so-good economy period in America? I suddenly found that it is a tough request. My husband used to laugh when I addressed an opinion or an issue regarding to the TV program. Now he not only seemed to appreciate but being a bit rude to what I'm usually doing since we met.

"How about you, honey? You sound rude for no reason. I am just exercising my freedom of speech and I wasn't even criticizing you. There is no need to be rude." I said, with a very clam voice.

"See! I was only giving you an advice for your own good and you accused me for being rude?"

This can go on and on if either one of us really felt like to bi**hing or jerking about it. I later admitted that my husband was right about my critical behavior so I gradually adjusted myself by avoid making comments while watching TV. I took great control of myself not talking anything negative nor even saying a word. Instead, I gave a sardonic grin over things that I was against upon or disagreed with. My husband then frequently heard me laughing sarcastically. Knowing what I was absolutely up to, my husband soon would give me that supercilious look and made a sardonic grin over my sardonic grin.

I found another irony after reduced making comments in front of TV set -- my husband's comments suddenly came out actively and frequently, and further more, he is critical, too. He criticized female hosts' figures, dresses, make-up and manners. He talked s***t to the U.S. government and recent economy and expressed his comments just like me. Yep! I would say it is like a copy cat without much quality control! I then discovered that there is actually much more fun to pick on my husband's behavior toward TV than the TV program itself. I always get my turn so quick to exercise my freedom of sardonic grin over my husband's opinions. 

OK. I am not allowed to criticize something or someone not directly relate to our life, so does criticize somebody we actually know around, included someone who is too stupid, too stingy, too clueless or extremely foxy. My husband and I happened to be very easy getting ourselves wrong type of friends so we occasionally waste time, energy and even money helping out these people with no appreciation from them but complaint and verbal attacks behind us. I got really sick and tired of finding myself being take for granted again and again, so I've to complaint to my husband about these people sometimes and somehow, especially if any of these people called or emailed us to bullshit something that sounds too good to be true. At first we seemed to agree with each other and admit that we got ourselves a worse friend again as usual. "Let's think of all this person's best character and any good things that he had done for us in the past. Perhaps we can make ourselves feel much better and stop nagging about him no more." My husband sighed.

After a few minutes of thought, I concluded to my husband: "Honey. If you don't allow me to nag about other people, then I'll have to nag about you." And I knew he was going to suggest me why not just stop nagging so I quickly continued: "You can not just force me stop expressing myself. People get mentally ill by not properly express their dissatisfaction or anger." 

"So that is absolutely Menopause symptoms!" he said and gave me that supercilious look again, plus a "Gotcha!" kind of tone of voice. "You are mood swings and irritability. That IS Menopause!"

"If you don't allow me to be mood swings and irritability then I'll be in depression and listlessness!" I suddenly recalled all the possible Menopause symptoms and found that both my husband and I were having the particular symptoms selectively. "Almost everything you seen from your point of view have something to do with Menopause. In my opinion, your rudeness accused to your spouse really proofs that you have Menopause! Male Menopause aka Andropause!"

"Why don't you write an article and post on your hub and let your readers VOTE who has Menopause!?"

So here I am. I really do want to write about this since these three Chinese characters "Geng Nian Qi" (更年期："Menopause" for both male and female in Chinese Mandarin.) have frequently appeared to our daily conversations for an year, even my kids got familiar with the sound and asked me what that is (They thought this might be some kind of candy or toy or a fun place to go like Disneyland, since every time either one of us said the word then one or both of us would laugh out loud and sound having fun.). I am not going to set up a poll asking everyone to vote who you think is suffered Menopause the most (maybe this is just something else, we haven't really had our Menopause yet?), but I would really like to analyze my case through out writings. My husband suggested me to log down most of our conversations during the past three days and we read them out loud again. I have actually done that once for one day. We ended up laughing each other being silly and nonsense. 

There is a Chinese idiom [只許州官放火，不許百姓點燈]: The magistrates are free to burn down houses, while the citizens are forbidden to light lamps; the powerful can do whatever they want, the weakness are not allowed to do anything. This type of "double standard" happened to my house in terms of defining one who has Menopause symptoms. I am very "happy" to learn that in medical terms Menopause is not only happened to all women but many men can suffer the similar symptoms like women in their middle age (so we get to have a fair fight. Ha ha ha...). Although my husband and I lately agreed that we should get together helping each other to fight such annoying symptoms rather than verbally attacking against each other, I started to enjoy our "Menopause Wars" due to we discovered a silly way to communicate and we often made other person laughing most of the time. 

Statistics show that 43% of all couples fight over finances. While many American couples having marriage crisis with the financial mess this world is, my husband and I seemed to transforming our financial pressure into this "Menopause fight". We don't directly blame on our useless government, rather think that there must be something wrong with ourselves physically or mentally (perhaps just in time?). We have to either solved the problem by making oneself to be a better person or just trying to cope it and get used to it. Not only we saved trips to see marriage therapist but we made ourselves so busy dealing with our fake or real Menopause symptoms, that we can somehow forget what we are really suffering in our economic crisis. 

Halle lujah!