Men's Locker Room Etiquette
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As an athlete, I spend a fair amount of time in men’s locker rooms. I have witnessed many strange things in these gym locker rooms. It has become obvious to me that most men do not understand locker room etiquette. This article hits the major men's locker room etiquette points.
Locker Room Shower
Most men’s locker rooms typically have a large open area with a number of shower heads. This is more of a communal type shower, contrary to women’s locker rooms with personal showers. Here are the main pointers for showers in men’s locker rooms:
- Do not pee in the shower. This is just plain gross. Pee is for a urinal, not the shower.
- If there are a number of open shower heads, do not take the one right next to someone else. Take the one furthest away. The shower is to clean yourself, not socialize.
- Do not socialize in the shower. I don’t want to talk to another dude naked and neither should you.
- Do not look at another guy’s private parts in a shower. Only look in the eyes, if you happen to make contact. Also, if you happen to be across from someone in the shower, try to avoid facing the same direction – if the person across from you is facing you, turn the other way and wash the other side of you.
Blow Dryer
- The blow dryer is for the hair on your head, not your pubes. I once saw a guy use the blow dryer to dry his pubic hair. He was actually holding a leg up and everything. This is disgusting. Don’t ever do this!
- Blow drying your hair is old school anyway....just dry your hair with your towel and add some wax or gel to it. The blow dryed feathered look went out with the 80s.
Your personal items
- Do not leave personal items lying all over the place. No one wants to see your sweaty gym clothes, jock strap, towels, body wash, etc., all over the locker room benches and floor. Keep your stuff in a tidy, small area.
Walking Around
- Do not walk around the locker room naked. If you must walk somewhere, there should be a reason and you should wear a towel (at a minimum) or put on your underwear and, preferably, pants.
- Walk with a purpose in the locker room...don't just stroll around naked, especially next to guys sitting on the benches putting shoes on, etc. This is rude. Last thing a guy trying to get psyched up for his workout and putting on his shoes needs to see is another guy's slong at eye level.
Gym Mirror
- Looking in the mirror is fine, but do not stand in front of the mirror naked. I once saw a guy stand in front of the mirror naked, while fixing his hair. At least put on your pants before fixing your hair in front of the mirror!
Scale
- Don’t weigh yourself after your workout or after sitting around in the sauna. This is stupid. Weigh yourself at home in the AM, when you get up.
- Especially, don’t weigh yourself while you’re naked. No one wants to see this. At least wear a towel or put your underwear on.
Hot Tub
Some of the gyms I’ve been to have hot tubs in the men’s locker room.
- If there is already a guy in the hot tub and you must sit in the hot tub, sit as far away as possible.
- Always sit in the hot tub with swim shorts on and leave them on. I once had a guy sit in the hot tub fairly close to me and then he took off his swim shorts and sat them on the side of the hot tub. And, no, this was not a gay gym. Don’t ever do this!
Sauna / Steam Room
- If you must enter the sauna / steam room without clothes on, wrap yourself in a towel and do not unwrap it.
- Do not remove your towel or ever sit naked in the sauna or steam room.
- Do not constantly enter the steam room and leave the steam or sauna room when you get too hot. Stay or go!
TV
- Do not hang out in the locker room and watch the mounted TVs. You’re there to work out, not watch TV with naked guys.
- Do not postpone getting dressed for something on the TV. No one wants to see a naked dude watching the cooking channel.
Conversations
- If you must have a conversation in the locker room, wait until both people have at least underwear on. It’s awkward to discuss something with a naked dude, plus the conversation may postpone him putting on clothes.
- If you do speak with someone and they are naked, do not let your eyes wander from the other person’s eyes. I once had a guy speak to me and stare at my tallywacker the entire time. He actually invited me to a Thanksgiving dinner with him and his family. I declined, of course. I was creeped out!
Locker Room Benches / Seats
- Do not ever sit on a bench or seat naked. Always sit on a towel. I have witnessed guys sitting on benches totally naked. This is gross.
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Comments
I get the idea that this was a serious hub but some of it came over as funny, sorry!
@RB - thanks for the comment. Hey, I'd be comfortable with the whole naked thing too, if I were in the women's locker room!
@GW - glad you enjoyed the hub...I'm satirically funny!
These tips are hilarious!
Why did ever "rule" have to do with impeding nudity? I mean I don't want free-wangs at large in the locker room anymore than the next guy....but this seems like a bitch-n-moan rant...methinks he doth protest too much
I'm like "Randy Behavior."
Most women's locker rooms, the one at my gym included, also have group shower rooms with no privacy. But it's not a big deal to most women. Were generally not embarrassed by locker room nudity like guys tend to be. Maybe it's because were more used to being "on display" so to speak during doctors examinations and things like that? When you've been given a gynochological exam and maybe also given birth, then other women seeing you naked in a locker room is no sweat.
The over-focus on nudity is telling. Most guys don't obsess about it. I always felt a bit creeped out by guys who feel the need to profess their horror at others' nudity. It's like, they think about it way too much.
haha, great article! not something i ever really thought about, but pretty funny.
Whoa! Who died and made you Miss Manners? Man, you have some SERIOUS homophobic anxiety going on in your head. Locker rooms HAVE scales to weigh oneself naked. And you get uptight over seeing anothed dude's sweaty jockstrap? You must be the guy at my Y who puts on his bathing suit to shower. Methinks thou protests too much.
if you don't want to see anyone naked the locker room is not the place for you. the purpose is to change and shower and eventually someone is going to get naked. REAL men do not want to scurry around like school girls avoiding being seen. to solve your problem you change at home and then you won't have to go in the locker room and see anything.
Damn, the United States is full of the most insecure straight men in the universe. That someone thought to write down all of his fears and foibles about the locker room as a set of rules for others to follow is so typical of straight men in this country. LOL!
This is one hell of a bizarre article! You're clearly insecure about your body and paranoid to the extreme. In other parts of the world, guys get naked and don't care. Just relax.
You must have never had gym class in school. When my Dad was in High school in the early 40s the guys swam nude in the pool during phu ed class...
You have obviously never been to the public nude beaches in San Diego....
Hola. Thanks for all the comments everyone. Never thought this would be my most popular article. I've been away for awhile working on my fitness, all the while avoiding men's locker rooms!
@cj - thanks!
@excavator - thanks for the comment. Me thinketh men needeth educateth abouts locker roomeths
@kelly - cool! Why do women have separate showers then, rather than communal showers?
@roscoe - thanks for the comments...I don't obsess about it, just thought it would make a good topic.
@bcampbell - thanks!
@ted - apparently, I appointed myself Miss Manners - someone has to do it, right? Locker room scales are for posers. It makes no sense to weigh yourself after a workout - of course you will weigh less - you're dehydrated. You should weigh yourself consistenly first thing in the AM, when you wake up - either at home or at the gym and, yes, either naked or with the same thing on every time (underwear, preferrably!).
@destroyer - it's not that I don't want to see anyone naked, just not guys. I don't scurry around and I do use locker rooms, but I apply common sense and do not walk around without a towel or blow dry my pubes or go to the sauna naked, then weigh myself every five minutes, etc.
@david - you're right...I'm so insecure that I'm afraid seeing a naked guy might turn me, especially if he's standing in front of the mirror blow drying his pubes! :)
@dan - Not sure what parts of the world you're referring to, but let me know to avoid those parts!
@paul - actually I did have gym class in high school. I don't believe you about guys swimming naked in the pools...what type of gym class was that? No, haven't made it to the nude beaches in San Diego, but I've been to them in Italy...you gave me an idea...maybe I'll write my next article on nude beach etiquette!
Yeah, you're pretty uptight, dude. Since you're so "not" into naked dudes, go ahead and focus on something else, for Christ's sake. None of the rest of us need to feel paranoid in a locker room due to your attitude regarding nudity. What's next for you? Freaking out about people who shop for groceries... in the grocery store?
Um.... What do you want us men to do, shower in our clothes? Dude its a locker room and you are supposed to be naked. I go to the gym every day and see alot of things happen in the locker room. Its a place for guys to just be guys. Men do walk around naked and talk to eachother naked. GOD!!! Get a new thing to talk about dude, oh and you probably shouldn't go to the locker room anymore if you feel that way.
Don't be so afraid of male bonding. It doesn't have to be sexual if you're sitting around naked with other dudes, but it also doesn't mean you're gay if you scope out another dude's equipment. We guys love our own equipment and to compare...and, yes, even covet another guys genetic blessings. I must assume that you never masturbate either, as stroking a penis, even if it's your own, is way too gay for your rule book. Just lighten up...you think about naked men too much in order to avoid the possiblity of eroticizing naked men. You end up thinking about naked men more than straight women or gay men. It's okay....take a peek at another guy's package...most guys like to be admired for what they possess. It won't mean you're gay, in fact, it just may make you more straight than you're currently afraid you're not!!
well, wow....wow...i....wow...is this guy trying to be funny,,,or make a mockery of sane people...or of himself..or is he....wow....i dont get it...id like to think positive and hope that this guy is making a tongue in cheek point of how ridiculous some guys can be about theyre insecurities regarding nudity...but id like to point out,,,i feel sorry for any young men that may read this and actually think his ideas are normal or common,,,and just in case ill say...hey young guys,,,this guys a douchebag,,,like teenagers dont have enough to be insecure about in locker rooms without reading this and feeling like they are acually supposed to hide in the corner as if there dicks are some horrific thing,, when i read this i actually thought that the writer was a teenager or early 20's as this sort of mentality is usually exibited in insecure highschool kids or university frat boys that are completely obsessed wiuth their bodies an dnudity...but no,,the picture clearly shows someone physically older, so like i say i can only assume that this guy is being funny or tongue in cheek casue noone his age can be this dumb without a slight mental illness.....to the writer i suggest a few hlepful options to get over your own body male anxieties....number one, go to a fuckin nude beach man...any nude beach, just go and sit there naked , walk around , go swimming and go day after day until you are comfortable being naked and realize it is the most natrual thing in the world...go to new york and see a play or two...often times nudity occurrs and maybe this shock will help wake up some larger part of your brain into accepting nudity...walk around your house naked on a sunday afternoon...its relaxing,,,sit in a hottub or steam room with your towel off, sittin on the towel for higeine and with another guy in the room or hottub for 10 min uits AND strike up a conversation...see how fast you forget your both naked....go to a gay bar...just in case, you never know you might be,,if not, well heh, youve gone and youll realize theres nothing to be so afraid of...and yes im asusming your scared to death of any situation in which men may possibly be involved in a sexually inuendo...finally stare at a picture of a erect penis for 5 full minuits...comon you can do it...i mean you wrote this garbage so why not that....and finally, if you cant even manage one of these suggestions, then why not keep your insecure fucked up ass out of the locker room altogether and stop making the rest of us normal people uncomfortable...freak...and yeah, ive pissed in shower...who the fuck hasnt.
oh i forgot one suggestion....if you really want to stop being a loser, just go to europe, i guarantee youll read your article like an adult looks back on his childhood, those people just dont give a shit bout the stupid shit americans do...
I agree with Ted that Kea protests too much. As a 50 year old I was in PE class when we all took showers, etc. so I haven't been freaked out by using locker rooms since I was a kid. 35 years ago we didn't talk or think about it, so I don't believe we should scream and quickly cover ourselves with a towel if a guy suddenly walks around the corner and sees us nude. today I hear some adult guys act like an 11 year old girl with regard to the subject. Hey Guys, lighten Up ! The only dudes at my school who were afraid to suit up or shower were put into "adaptive "PE to play vollyball or bake cookies with the girls and "special ed" kids. and their reps were ruined.They were always the wimpy type guys, and we figured they were afraid to shower because they were afraid they would get "aroused". I'd wager they are in couples therapy today with some dude named "Tab" or "Jimmer" Ever notice how the guys bitching about the showers are almost always the little wuusey type? I have seen several stand up comics do a routine on how revolted they are by seeing a naked man in a locker room and they are always little testosteroe challenged nebishes rather than the rugby player type. . I never see any NFL players complaining about it. I always wonder about guys who feel compelled to constantly announce that the sight of a naked man makes them sick. As I stated above, Perhaps thou protests too much............
Wow, you grew up with Shame, too bad for you. We european Adults and Youth express naturally our body, which is a wonderful freedom to be a part of. Pathetic western culture; so robbed.
Dude, if you are that concerned, don't shower at the gym. I go naked in the hot tub, shower, steam room (Sitting on a towel). If you are looking, then you have the problem.
NAKED old guys in the locker room? Say it ain't so! A guy chatting with me about last night's basketball game while he and I are NAKED in the showers? Oh, my! Some guy dropping his jockstrap on the floor, then heading to the showers CARRYING his towel, not wrapping it around his NAKED body? Horrible! What a bunch of crap this article peddles. My standards for men's locker rooms are pretty simple: please don't masturbate and please don't come on to me. I expect nudity, I expect conviviality, I expect odors and I expect athletic supporters littering the floor. And I also expect that the rest of the guys in the locker room are going to give about as much shit about these things as I do. And fortunately, at my gym (a Y), that seems to be the case. Our locker room is relaxed and accepting of any man who walks in - just don't start reading us your god-damned "rules."
Randy Behavior says:
5 months ago
"No one wants to see a naked dude watching the cooking channel," speak for yourself!
Seriously Kea you seem a little uptight about the whole naked thing. Of course I'm a girl and don't really know men's locker room rules. In the women's locker room though, I'd say we are pretty comfortable with out nakedness in the showers, in the jacuzzi, just walking arund and yes, even on benches.