All of a sudden, that happy, contented lifestyle you have been enjoying all these years no longer suits. You become dissatisfied with all that you have been holding close to your heart. You feel bored and restless. You are generally confused about who you are and where you are heading. The ticking of the clock begins to nag. You want to do something different, before it is too late.

Midlife Crisis, to put it very simply, is a period of discontent we all go through at some point of our lives, usually around the age of 40 on.

When midlife happens, the individual undergoes an upheaval of sorts and a wide range of sometimes-unfathomable emotions show up.

Often these feelings are triggered by external factors. It could be bereavement, such as the passing of a parent or close one, separation, redundancy or debt. Coping with these are difficult enough under normal circumstances. Having them compounded by the natural process of 'maturing' makes it even more bewildering.

The inability to come to terms with this part of life's journey with a proper understanding of what the transition is all about can lead you to make drastic, irrational decisions that may well cause you to throw away what's preciously built up during the earlier years. Buying a fancy roadster, changing your entire wardrobe, and running off with a younger lover are no long-term solutions.

One fine day, the man looks into the mirror, and gets a rude awakening. His hair is thinning, his flab is showing, the face crinkly....ayah...he is getting older and there is no way to disguise it! Only just yesterday, he was 25! Oh....the panic button sounds. Time is running short and there are so many things still not done.

You fight, a lot. He does not like many of the things he used to treasure - his old clothes, his hair, his job, his home, his car.....and you! He goes out more, prefers a sportier vehicle, tries a diet, goes to the gym, changes the way he looks, needs a lot more 'space' and sounds like he's heading towards a divorce! Frankly, he does not really know if that is what he wants.

This could be happening to the most dependable man in your life thus far! What you need to understand is he is not deliberately doing things to hurt you. He has neither any clue why it has come to this nor what is happening to him. Just that something is not right and he is searching for answers.

How do you respond?

Face it - it is really his problem, say the experts. You are not responsible for it; do not at any moment, doubt that. He may lay the blame on you since he could not locate any other reason why he is so unhappy, but do not believe him. You are not at fault just because he has to grow up. Do not even try to reason with him because he may not listen. You cannot change it or repair it. Simply step back and let him find himself. Being aware of what is happening to him this time of his life will help shield you against blaming yourself.

Life must go on. Do not wait for him to make things happen, the way you used to plan together. Take the opportunity to develop a new independent you! Go head and make plans without him, as he may not be assessable. Do not fret. Go out with your friends. Find a way to make yourself happy without having to rely on him for intimacy. Get involved in new projects or community work. Do the things you have always dreamed of doing on your own,

Realize that this issue cannot be resolved in weeks and there is no guarantee it will settle in a year or two. You will feel the hurt but try to hold back from becoming a bitter male-bashing woman. Raging and making heavy demands will only create more resentment and anger since at this stage, he may be completely resolute in the changes he wants to make. Clinging, berating, pushing him in a certain direction will only drive the wedge deeper. Let him know-how much you love him but give him space to arrive at an answer. Turn the moment into an opportunity for you to grow out of dependency, and fulfill your own potential.

Researchers discovered that women react differently to men in that they are more hopeful and are able to turn themselves inward out to launch themselves into the next phase of their lives, after some serious introspection. Even though women experience bigger changes midlife, they bear a more positive attitude. In the US, it was observed that women experience significant rebound in personal fulfillment at midlife than during their childbearing years.

Another point to consider is that men grew up with the understanding that the man is the breadwinner of the family. Work is a means of putting food on the table. To the typical male, his job thus equates with his status as head of household, not satisfaction. That must surely come from elsewhere. The professional woman on the other hand has to break barriers to reach at the top, so every challenge carries with it a lot of satisfaction. Thus, during midlife, if a career no longer gives her pleasure for whatever reason, she has more courage and less fear in switching to something completely different from her field of expertise to access new freedom, versatility and satisfaction.

After completing their family-raising duties, a lot of females have the urge to spend the next phase of their life challenged in new ways. They may return to school, start a business, or otherwise launch themselves into another productive phase.

Thus, when a woman hits the midlife hurdle, she may first turn inward to locate a piece of her passion or a dream that had been dropped the day she decided to have a family. It could be travel, learning to ski, education, paint...anything. Some women may follow the classic male pattern such as buying a sporty vehicle, dressing to look years younger, getting a divorce and a new man; many realize eventually that new acquisitions are largely superficial and accord them only a temporary sense of well being. Findings say that women tend to face the issue head on and examine where they are in their life and where they want to be in future. Once their prospects are weighed, they are 'more likely to talk about growth, making the best of it.

- Talk often about it with your spouse about your feelings at this stage so both understand each other. This can help avoid misunderstandings and resentment building up.

- You can also confide in someone neutral instead of bottling it up and getting all depressed alone.

- Do not ignore or suppress, as it will resurface as anger and frustration redirected at innocent parties, or worse, lead to alcohol or substance abuse.

- Do not take the easy way out and dump a long-term relationship immediately, try instead to mend or strengthen it. Remember that the relationship is not the real problem.

- Confront the truth and then decide how you want to live the rest of your life.

- Treat midlife as an opportunity for revival, not the end.

- Give priority to setting appropriate new goals instead of jumping aboard fleeting wagons of superficial distractions.