What do we call a referee from Italy? A Roman umpire!

What is the difference between a mugger and an umpire? One steals watches, and the other watches steals!

Why did the man brush off his plate before he was served dinner? He couldn't help it...he was an umpire!

How do we know dolphins are really smart? They are able to train humans to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them fish three times a day!

How do you know a dolphin is ready for marriage? He goes down on one fin and porpoises!

What does a dolphin like to watch on TV? Whale of Fortune!

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's my popcorn!

How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste!

What would you get if you crossed a potato with an onion? A potato with watery eyes!

What did the buffalo say when the sky turned cloudy? Bi-sun!

What event do buffalos recognize every 200 years? The bisun-tennial!

What is the opposite of a buffalo? A buffahigh!

Where should an animal go if it loses its tail? A retail store!