Mom, Don't Be Mad!

Step 3, Loving Discipline can be found here.

Are you able to step out of anger? Can you stop in the middle of ticked off? Do you take time out? Do you live in the Mad Zone?

Those are important skills for moms and dads. Today, Dads spend just as much or more time with their kids than moms; I have directed this series to Mom's specifically, as their roles are often interpreted differently in the minds of their kids. It's a female and male thing.

Therefore, for the purpose of this series, I will address "Mom" with no disrespect to "Dad" intended. He'll get his turn.

We had children in our home for over 20 years that were not ours. We were their custodial parent, trying to mend the broken fences of their lives.

Some were living in dangerous environments due to domestic violence, some were victims of the abuse themselves. That meant, that some abuse was planned, and some was the result of a loss of control of parental anger.

Let me assure you, I had my days of going out for a walk or drive to cool off.

Broken home items, angry words, disobedient kids, messy rooms all gave me plenty days of "mad." What could I do? I could control ME. Sometimes, that's all I did, just control me. The behaviors I ran into were not easily changed.

The foster kids had problems all right and with all my training, some moments I was maxed out at "calm." There is no script for all the chaos you run into. Extra shocks would come when I would see the foster kid's strong negative behaviors rub off on my own kids. It was a huge challenge. I did not go into foster care to put my children at risk.

We had to have a plan. Moms, MAKE that plan. Think ahead and put your thoughts on paper. Rehearse possible scenarios with your husband, and if you are a single parent, choose a friend with whom you can practice.

For example: Let's say you have a 13 year old son or daughter. You have decided you might need to prepare for a time when either he/she or a friend of his/her's will smoke pot. What will be your reaction? How will you talk to them? What will be a consequence that doesn't divide.

That is the center of your choices, so let me repeat it. What will be your consequence that doesn't divide you as a family. That will only happen with thinking ahead.

Plan it Mom, think ahead and have a way to cool off and stay in control. A way that you have practiced. Then, slamming doors, and angry words will not send you spinning into the mad zone.

I hope you'll read 101 Ways To Be A Solid Mom, Step 3: Loving Discipline.